Love Outside the Box
by DragonWarbler
Summary: A coming of age story about finding love in the most unexpected of places, while trying to accept and love yourself. Also about overcoming our own and others prejudices and fears. Dudley thinks his coming out will be the end of everything, but maybe just maybe it can be a new beginning, a chance to start living the life he had always thought was beyond his reach.
1. Chapter 1: Coming Out part 1

**Chapter 1: Coming Out part 1**

Dudley was standing in front of the full length mirror in his bedroom. He was going to do this, it was now or never. He had stood in the exact same spot several times before but they all had ended the same way, with him chickening out.

He was tired of it. Tired of pretending to be someone he wasn´t. Tired of not standing up for himself and who he was. Tired of doing a lot of things he didn´t believe in just because he thought his father would approve. It was time he did something for himself and faced the truth.

The truth was he couldn´t do it anymore, he couldn´t live like this. Live in denial of who he was just because he couldn´t understand it and was afraid of what people would think once they knew.

He was miserable, it was no way out. It was like being in a labyrinth with no opening, he was stuck inside of himself and no matter how much he tried he was unable to break free. He would though today, there was no other option. He could live with them hating him for who he was but he couldn´t stand them loving him for who he wasn´t.

Dudley took a deep breath, looking in the mirror. Staring back at him was a 19 year old with too many frown lines and a slumped posture.

He had on some level known since when he was 13 but of course pushed all the evidence from his mind until that day in 9th grade that had changed everything. He remembered Ms. Snowden´s lesson that Thursday afternoon as vividly as the day it had happened.

_"__Duuudley, please go with me to that concert my dad got me tickets for, it´s next Friday" it was Tracy and Dudley shuddered, she was way too clingy for his liking._

_Tracy had tried to get him to go out on a date with her for a year now. At first Dudley had just shrugged it off and had thought that she would soon get bored with the idea, but he had realized quickly that when she wanted something she would not give up. He had managed to hold her off so far but it was getting harder and harder to come up with an excuse. _

_And even if he didn`t find her appealing she seemed to genuinely like him and well Dudley couldn´t deny he liked the attention._

_"__You are free then right?" Tracy was now looking at him pleadingly the start of a pout forming on her lips "and don´t say that you don´t like the band, I know you have a CD with them."_

_The truth was that Dudley loved that band and he would have done almost anything to go. Almost anything, Tracy believing he was interested and claiming him as her boyfriend was not included in that almost._

_He had to think of some reason not to go. "Um… well, Tracy you see…" he stopped talking because they had rounded the corner and was now stepping inside Ms. Snowden`s classroom for their weekly sexual educations class._

_Tracy was jumping up and down "Oh I loooooove this class" she was gushing excitedly and it seemed their conversation was now light years away from her mind. Dudley let out a breath, saved by sexual education who would have thought._

_They took their seats far back in the left corner and turned around to see their teacher smiling brightly up at them. "Good afternoon class, today we are going to talk about something very important so please listen with an open mind."_

_Oh god was she going to go through different sexual acts? Dudley wasn´t sure if he felt comfortable with that._

_"__There are a lot of different types of relationships and love, can anyone of you name some of them?" his classmates seemed to hesitate but after a few seconds two hands raised to the air._

_Ms. Snowden gave a nod to a boy sitting in the middle of the classroom. "Do you mean like that there are open relationships and then there are monogamous relationships?" he asked. Ms. Snowden looked impressed but shook her head "maybe we will talk about that at a later date but it was not what I had in mind for today's lesson." _

_She looked around the class again and nodded to an eager girl in the front "there are romantic relationships, relationships between friends, relationships between family members like parent and child but also like your relationship with your pet. All of them are important but also very different from the other."_

_The girl looked too much like a know it all for Dudley´s liking and he couldn´t help but mutter `suck up` under his breath and rolling his eyes._

_Smiling down at the girl Dudley was sure Ms. Snowden would praise her like usual "that is very true Miss Camden, but I was more thinking of different types of romantic as well as sexual relationships or some may even say lifestyles."_

_The class was quiet for a few seconds even Eleanor Camden didn´t raise her hand again, Dudley guessed there was a first for everything._

_"__What? You mean like ugh penetrative and oral sex?" a jock on the desk beside Dudley blurted out._

_Ms. Snowden sighed and shook her head "No, those are just sexual acts and do not per say require a relationship." The jock huffed but said nothing so Ms. Snowden kept going "and the next time when you want to answer a question will you please raise your hand?"_

_The jock looked uncomfortable but mumbled "yes Ms. Snowden" and she averted her attention back to the whole class once again. _

_"__Today´s lesson is about different sexual orientations" Ms. Snowden finally revealed to the class. Dudley felt like someone had thrown ice water over him, talking about that was even worse than the sex acts thing. _

_Eleanor was now once again raising her hand "yes Miss Camden?" Eleanor sat straighter in her chair before starting on what felt like half an assay to Dudley._

_"__So what you meant by asking us to name different kind of relationships you meant to state different definitions to with who we have an affinity to fall in love with and not what we do after the fact that we are already in love," she took a small breath before continuing "obviously you can be straight also called heterosexual and the opposite of that is homosexual or well gay if you are a boy and lesbian I you are a girl, and then we have people that is neither or both I guess you can say and they are called bisexual." _

_Dudley had a headache, how could she talk so much and know something about everything? He really hoped they were not going to discuss today´s lesson. It usually came down to that though, Ms. Snowden always wanted everyone not only to learn facts but also to get them to think about what they were talking about._

_Dudley hated thinking, and it didn´t matter anyway because what he thought didn´t matter. He would just say what his father had told him on the subject._

_Ms. Snowden was now writing on the blackboard. When she was finished she addressed Eleanor again "that is correct Miss Camden, although there is several more types of sexuality such as asexual, pansexual and transsexual do everyone know what these terms stand for?"_

_The next 30 minutes went by with Ms. Snowden explaining the different sexualities and everyone taking notes. _

_"__Now I would like to ask what your view is on these sexualities and what you think about the view society have on the matter" crap Dudley had known she would do this, he didn´t want to have to talk about what he believed, not that he would anyway._

_She let everyone in class say what they thought, the majority said they hadn´t thought about it and didn´t have an opinion, a few said that of course they had no problem with it and then there was a few that said they didn´t understand people that weren´t "normal"._

_When it was time for Dudley he was sweating and rather uncomfortable. He looked up when Ms. Snowden addressed him "Mr. Dursley what are your thoughts on this?" Dudley took a deep breath and thought frantically *what would Vernon say, what would Vernon say, what would Vernon say*…_

_He looked up at Ms. Snowden with a clear stare and an indifferent face, he felt quite out of balance but that was okay as long as he didn´t show that outwards. He had become an expert at pretending and seeming to be fine when he really wasn´t._

_"__Um…" after a few seconds of silence and a "take your time " from Ms. Snowden he remembered the phone call Vernon had had with one of his colleagues last month and new exactly what he would say. _

_Sitting up a little straighter he said as confident as he could "people perusing relationships of any romantic or sexual kind with others of the same gender or thinking as well as supporting such" here he sneered to make a point before continuing "things are not only wrong but disgusting. Quite simply they are freaks that should be taught a lesson." Dudley almost cringed at his own words and how he had said it was not even close to the hatred and venom he had heard Vernon use while talking about "those people"._

_Dudley didn´t even recognize his own voice when he after a moment of consideration added as an afterthought something that he had heard his mum say not that long ago. "And also it is against god and going against him is as if you are going against humanity and the sole purpose of our existence, frankly I believe people with other sexualities then heterosexuality of course will go to hell" he was proud of himself as he held the clear stare ahead of him, his parents would be so proud if they had heard his little speech._

_Somehow he didn´t feel any satisfaction though he just felt out of place. Ms. Snowden was watching him fidget with a sad look in her normally often sparkling eyes and the room had gone deathly silent with his declaration of homophobic believes. The word homophobic tasted sour in his month but he had to remember that in being what he knew his parents wanted him to be he was always going to be loved and get whatever he wanted because he was their "perfect child"._

_He was sure Ms. Snowden would say something after what he had just said but she just continued and asked Tracy the same question. "I fully agree with my Dudley he said it so utterly perfect" no one was very surprised by this. Dudley was a bit disgusted by her always trying to seek his approval to whatever price. When he thought about it though wasn´t that exactly what he was doing but towards his parents?_

_But he had to. If they knew who he really was, if they knew the thoughts that he had behind the walls he had built around himself, if they knew what he really wanted then his life would be over. Tracy just did it because of teenage hormones or something else as shitty. She didn't have a good excuse, while he had a life full of them. _

_Dudley lost track of time and was in his own mind for the rest of the lesson. Ms. Snowden had talked about why it was important to keep an opened mind why there wasn´t anything wrong with any kind of love, how you could show support, and what progress was being made right now as she was speaking. How people in that room could be the start to make a difference and how together people actually could change the world and the view of different lifestyles and cultures._

_Dudley had heard her but it didn´t register in his mind because he knew what she said was just a load of crap. Oh sure there was people who would support freaks like him, but if the people that mattered didn´t what difference would it make. He wouldn´t be happy. He knew he would marry a girl maybe even Tracy (but god he hoped not) someday and that would make his parents happy, and if his parents were happy then he had a reason to be too, that was what mattered._

_He could feel himself getting depressed by his fate but his musings was interrupted by Ms. Snowden "the assignment for today´s lesson is to think about what you would do if someone close to you, say your cousin, sibling or best friend came out to you as a homosexual, what would you do and why?" she started writing this up on the blackboard "I would also want to know if what you would do would change if your family told you to act a certain way, would you stand by your original thought or would you change to appease them no matter the consequences to your friend or family member that just came out to you?"_

_She had finished writing and it felt like she was staring Dudley straight to the bone even though she was really looking out over the whole classroom. "And then I would like you to think what you would want someone else to do if it was you that came out to them, it doesn´t even have to be about sexuality just something life changing that maybe everyone around you wouldn´t see as acceptable."_

_Then she was all on about how you were who you were supposed to be and to be different was a good thing and yadda yadda yadda… _

_Things like that was so easy to say Dudley thought, to actually have courage to be yourself was a whole other matter, and he was quite lucky that he wasn´t that strong because he knew if he was himself and let his true feelings and believes show he would probably no longer have a place to call home._

_"__I want your assignment in by next week were we will discuss this and go into more about peer pressure and how this can in a why affect how we see and act on sexual behavior but also how we talk about it with each other and openly within the society." _

_Dudley felt relived the class was over and he had survived "Oh and Mr. Dursley would you stay back for a few minutes I have something I would want to discuss with you privately" crap he knew he shouldn´t have stated the view on the subject as strongly as he did. _

_Well she didn´t know anything so he could just sit there and nod until she let him go, it was a solid plan. Tracy whined about how unfair life was because now she had to go to the next class all by herself. Ms. Snowden had at least saved him a few minutes of peace he guessed that was something to be grateful for._

_The door to the classroom slowly closed behind Tracy and Ms. Snowden came to sit on the chair she had just left "So Dudley" Ms. Sowden said not unkindly._

_He was looking anywhere but at her at the moment and just said "yea" he had a bad feeling about this. He felt naked under her gaze like she was able to see right through him and into his soul and reveal all his darkest secrets._

_"__You remind me very much about a young me you know" this startled Dudley a bit and he chanced a glance at his teacher. She was showing a lot of compassion and understanding just by her posture and the way she was studying him._

_Dudley didn´t say anything, he was afraid he would let something slip if he opened his mouth. Or did she already know, but how could she? Dread was slowly creeping up Dudley´s spine. It felt like a cannonball had just hit the walls he had built and he had to do something before it would all be falling in and the real him would be left buried in the ruins._

_Ms. Snowden gave him a small smile before she continued and there was nothing else for Dudley to do then sit there and listen to his world falling apart. "You know I was scared and introverted too, I even bullied people because I thought it would be easier to be hated for something I did then be hated for being who I really was" she looked at Dudley with something aching to pity now "the worst is when you think you are not worth it, the real you are not good enough, you start to hate yourself as much as you believe people will hate the real you if they knew your secret" Dudley couldn´t help it he was shaking, it was scary how her words was like taken from his mind._

_Ms. Snowden took his hand between hers "I didn´t have anyone back then and I lived a lie for so many years, it isn´t worth it Dudley, and whatever nightmare you think will happen is not worse than being stuck inside your own maze with thorns of lies and believes that aren´t your own."_

_Dudley wanted to scream that she didn´t know, she couldn´t possible know what would happen and what his life would become if it came out. But she seemed to know how it felt to be stuck, to not let yourself live, to just be a puppet to other people's expectations of you and their dreams and desires. _

_What Dudley wanted to do next and what he actually did was two completely different things. He wanted to break down and let Ms. Snowden comfort him because she was right and holding who he was and what he felt inside was already eating him up and hurting more than he ever thought it would._

_What he did on the other hand was drawing his hand back like if he had been burned. He stood up and stormed out of her classroom not looking back, Ms. Snowden didn´t try to stop him anyway. He didn´t do what he wanted but he did do what he needed, he had to escape. The truth had caught up to him._

_If this was reality before people knew his secret he couldn´t even imagine the nightmare his life would turn into if people ever found out._


	2. Chapter 2: Coming Out part 1b

**Chapter 2: Coming Out part 1b**

That sexual education class had been over 4 years ago, Dudley still hadn´t found the courage to stand up for himself and who he was. But that day and the support and friendship that had later developed with Ms. Snowden through the years had made him realize that who he was wouldn´t change. He could pretend to be someone he wasn´t but inside he would still have those feelings.

What he did or didn´t do with that was his choice, it was his life he was throwing away because of his fears of rejection and hatred for something that wasn´t his fault but instead was a part of him. It was his chance of happiness that he was throwing out the window.

He remembered the first time he had been invited to Ms. Snowden´s home and had met her girlfriend. The first time he had seen that a relationship between two women or two men wasn´t at all that different, that it was as natural as that ice cream melts in the summer. The love had been evident and Ms. Snowden had assured him that he could have that too if he just believed and let himself go.

Dudley had had many friends through the years. The friends that helped him tease and beat up Harry, the friends that helped him cheat on exams and make fake ID´s, the friends that invited him to parties and gave him free beer. Yea he had had a bunch of that kind of friends.

Friends that didn´t really matter in the big picture that was life, friends he would have never been able to tell his secret to.

Then he had the friends he hadn´t had to tell the secret to but that still knew, the ones that understood him because they were in the same situation as he was.

The first time he was in Ms. Snowden´s home he had thought it wouldn´t be anything special just a visit to talk about that outburst and fight he dumbly had gotten into outside of her classroom the day before.

Boy had he been wrong, it had been another one of those days he would never forget one of those days that would change his life and make him make it another day.

_Ms. Snowden hadn´t brought it up. She hadn´t brought his secret up again since that sexual education class and it was almost 3 months ago. Nothing bad had happened and life looked pretty much the same as it had done before._

_Tracy was still clinging to every word he said and was still desperately trying to get him to go on a date with her. He was still lucky to have been able to avoid that disaster but knew every day was bringing him closer to it._

_He was pretty much still ignoring what he now knew was a fact, his secret was real and the only thing he could do was conceal it and try to not feel it. You could suppress anything if you wanted it enough, or at least that was what he was making himself believe._

_He wasn´t looking forward to tonight and the visit he had to do to Ms. Snowden. He was sure that what was awaiting him was a long lecture on proper behavior and she would probably make him talk about what had happened and why._

_And the truth was that the less people knew about him and his life the better._

_It was raining and he carefully brought in the umbrella and looked at the sign. This was it number 37 Gleeverpark Avenue. _

_He made his way up to the door and knocked gently. _

_He was quite startled when an unfamiliar woman opened the door "Um hi, I´m Dudley" he said anyway fidgeting slightly where he stood wondering if he had gone to the wrong house after all._

_"__Kim honey, one of you students are here, I think it´s best if you come and greet him as well, he seems a bit scared of me" Dudley was scared, this woman was way too friendly for this detention lecture thing that he was there for._

_The woman turned and looked at Dudley again and gave him a bright smile, too bright if you asked Dudley and he looked away. And by the way who was Kim anyway he couldn´t for the life of him remember Ms. Snowden´s first name at the moment._

_It felt like hours but after not that long Ms. Snowden stood in the doorway with those twinkling eyes and soft smile. "Oh Dudley, you are just in time dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes, why don´t you join the others in the living room?"_

_Ms. Snowden wrapped her arms around the strange woman that had opened the door and they took a step to the side to let Dudley enter._

_But he was frozen to the spot, had he heard her wrong "dinner?" he stammered and then "others?" he was utterly confused, why would they treat him to dinner, who was that woman and other people was there too "why?" was all he got out in the end. _

_Ms. Snowden just smiled a little more almost as if she was amused "I´m sorry, my manners are terrible, Dudley this is my partner Lou" she said and kissed said woman on the cheek._

_Dudley did a double take. Why was he here exactly, was she mocking him because she knew his secret? He wanted to turn on the spot and run away, this turn of events was making him very uneasy._

_And that was if you didn´t considered what Vernon would do if he knew he was about to join a lesbian couple for dinner, he would definitely freak and all hell would break lose._

_"__But… Detention?" he said at last not knowing if he should bolt or stay, the aroma coming from inside did smell delicious and food had always been something that made him weak in the knees. It couldn´t hurt going inside and see what they had cooking, right?_

_Ms. Snowden frowned and let go of Lou before taking a step forward and laying her hands on Dudley´s shoulders. "You think you´re here because of that fight yesterday" he wasn´t? Then way the hell was he there it didn´t make any sense. He nodded his head to answer her question even though the way she said it sounded more like a statement._

_"__He´s adorable Kim, he can´t really be such a troublemaker at school that you make him out to be" it was Lou._

_Dudley felt his cheeks heat up and he looked down at his feet. He knew he let his barriers down when he was confused or scared and he really had to work on that._

_He felt his shoulders being squeezed, "Shush you before you make him blush" Lou giggled in the background and he was almost certain he heard another adorable too "and no Dudley you are not here to talk about that fight, but of course I´m always here to listen and give advice if you are willing?" Dudley looked up and was met with the sight of a grinning teacher. _

_"__No, I´m good thank you Ms. Snowden" at least he wouldn´t get a lecture but not knowing what was coming was almost as frightening._

_Ms. Snowden´s smile once again became soft and she gestured inside. "Terrific, come on now and make yourself comfortable with the others" there it was again, others were there, who and why? Before he was able to ask this however Ms. Snowden said "and please call me Kim, we will hopefully spend a lot of nights like this in the future and it would be weird being so formal don´t you think?"_

_He just frowned and blinked but didn´t feel like asking questions, he figured he would get the answers before the night was over anyway. "If you say so Ms. ugh Kim" Lou sniggered in the background and Dudley felt his cheeks heat up once again. _

_This day was so weird he thought while he made his way to the sitting room down the hall where he heard voices coming from. _

_He stopped a few meters from the opening and listened to what seemed to be several teenagers discussing something inside the room._

_"__Do you think there will be more people coming over, and in that case who might that be?" it was a guy and Dudley did recognize the voice from somewhere, maybe science class?_

_He heard a loud sigh and then a frustrated "we have nothing in common Einstein, so your guess to what this little gathering is for is as good as mine", Dudley knew that voice too it was the girl that had been the head of the prom committee last year._

_"__Of course we have to have something in common and I have a theory of what that might be but if I´m wrong you knowing my hypothesis may unfortunately do more harm than good for all of us."_

_No mistake of who that was, Eleanor Camden and her logic was making Dudley nauseous and he couldn´t for the life of him think of anything that he could have in common with her. _

_The conversation went on and he thought it was time to make his presence known to the others and if he was being honest he was also quite curious who the other people in the room were._

_When the other occupants of the room noticed him in the doorway it became silent, one thing was for sure they had not expected him to turn up. And to say the group was an unusual mix of people was an understatement._

_There were 12 people in the room, in varying ages but they all went to Dudley´s school. In addition to the prom girl, the science nerd and Eleanor, there were a few people he recognized. The goalkeeper of the football team, one of the cheerleaders, that guy playing the trumpet in the school orchestra, the angry emo girl from his math class and oh no…_

_In one of the armchairs with one of his legs crossed over the other sat that singing dude from the Glee club that always had this pink glittering note books flaunting his flamboyant gayness in Dudley´s face. He was also the same guy he had beaten up yesterday for that exact reason. He was sporting a black eye and Dudley almost felt a little guilty, but not really it wasn´t fair that this guy could be himself and he couldn´t. _

_The guy looked scared and it almost looked like he would rather sink through the floor the face the wrath of Dudley. "Whaaat is he doing here" he stammered nervously "please don´t beat me up again, I have no idea what I did to offend you?"_

_Dudley had made his hands into fists and the skin over his knuckles had turned white. "You don´t need to do anything" he spat "your existence infuriates me." He sneered and tried to calm down. _

_He couldn´t help to be angry at the guy, or rather at life it wasn´t anything he had against the boy personally. The fact that he could be who he wanted while Dudley couldn´t was what made him boiling inside._

_"__Maybe he´s offended by your style, I can toughen you up if you dare to let me" it was the emo girl and she was smirking._

_The guy just looked scared of that aspect too and it almost looked like he shrunk into the couch a little more._

_The football player smirked then and said "no sissies, I think he is jealous that his dear mummy didn´t get her Dudlikins a pink notebook and he can´t stand Callum flaunting his around all the time." He had said all this with a straight face but as soon as he finished he and a few of the others started to laugh._

_Dudley knew he was being mocked but that was not the scary part, what made all the blood drain from his face was that the football player was more right than he may have thought possible. Dudley did want a pink notebook._

_"__Shut up" he hissed halfheartedly not convinced that saying something could do any good. _

_"__Oh don´t be a spoil sport I haven´t had this fun in ages" the prom girl was saying just as their conversation was interrupted by Ms. Snowden announcing from the kitchen that dinner was ready._

_Everyone made their way to the dinner table and after they had taken a seat their teacher announced "now to why everyone is here, it´s because every each one of you have something to learn from each other and I believe you will also be able to help each other immensely." Was she nuts Dudley had time to think before she continued on "I hope this group will connect and become great friends, you may not think so now but you are special and together I know you can make anything extraordinary."_

Dudley thought back on that evening with a fond smile and chuckled a little at the reaction they all had had when it was brought to their attention that what they had in common was their non-straightness.

They had indeed bonded and he was still friends with most of them even though the majority had gone off to college and they didn´t have as much contact as he would like.

His fond smile soon transformed into a gloomy frown though when thinking about their little secret NSAOCT (No Straight Arrows Only Curvy Trees) club ended in him thinking about Callum.

They had actually become best friends after a not such a great start to put it mildly. Dudley had ironically ended up the scared one, so their friendship had only happened behind closed doors and in NSAOCT were Dudley felt comfortable enough to be himself. Callum had never been home with Dudley, he had never got an invite to celebrate his birthday, never got to eat lunch with him in the cafeteria.

After 2 years of sneaking around Callum had had enough he didn´t try to force Dudley to come out or anything like that but he had given him an ultimatum. Dudley had been made to choose between being seen with him in public or not seeing him at all.

Dudley had chosen the latter and to this day it was one of the biggest mistakes he had done, he had lost his best friend to his own demons and prejudice from people around him. He was fed up with it, no more it was ending today.

Tomorrow would be the first day of being completely true to himself and doing what made him happy, screw people that wouldn´t stand behind that.

He didn´t get it back then because if he had he would have stood up for his friendship with Callum. But being a part of that group had both made him feel special but also not special just one normal teenager really with problems like anyone else. The most important thing was that since that day at Ms. Snowden´s he didn´t feel alone again in the same way as he had done before. And now he was ready to see what had been there in front of him all this time, even if or rather _when_ his coming out ended in disaster his life would not be over it would actually just be an opportunity for it to really begin.


	3. Chapter 3: Coming Out part 2

**Chapter 3: Coming Out part 2**

Petunia Dursley had planned this dinner for weeks because it just _had_ to be perfect, it was her little Dudley´s future at stake here after all.

Both she and Vernon thought it was time for their son to settle down and actually make a future for himself, to find a job and start a family on his own. What he needed was a nice looking and mature young lady that would provide them with grandchildren and could make the home chores for her Dudley. It wouldn´t be a disadvantage if this girl was from a wealthy family as well of course.

Vernon had left her the responsibility to find someone suitable. She had thought long and hard and had finally found the perfect candidate, a nice girl a year older than Dudley that was the daughter of her doctor.

Tonight she and her father would come and have dinner with them so that she and Dudley could meet for the very first time. She was convinced that he would see the importance and that he would go along with her and Vernon´s plan.

She hadn´t told Dudley about any of this though, she thought it was better to surprise him and just bring this fine girl to his attention and then give some hints that it may be an opportunity to start something.

She had no doubts that it would end in the way that they had planned for it to go, after all their Dudley had always done as they pleased he really was the child they had always wanted and she was so proud of him.

The thought that he may need some help in the girls department had crossed her mind before though, to her knowledge he had never had a girlfriend and it wasn´t because of lack of opportunity. She remembered that nice girl Tracy he had went to school with, she didn´t understand why Dudley never made a move when it had been no question about that she would have been very pleased if he had.

Dudley´s lack of love life didn´t worry her thought she was sure he had just not met the right girl and had been too focused on other important stuff such as school. But after this he would be settled and wouldn´t have to worry over things like being alone for the rest of his life, he just needed a little push.

It was already 7:15 pm and they would arrive at 7:30, she still had to make the table and make her final touches to the starter of the 3 course dinner she had prepared. It was a dinner to make a great first impression and she knew that class and fine dining was the way to impress.

She come to think about that her son would need some time to put on some fine clothes and therefor shouted up the stairs "Dudley darling dinner will be ready in 15 minutes and we will have some guests so please put on that suit you got last Christmas." She then went back to prepare the goat cheese salad.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Dudley was still standing in front of the mirror trying to get his courage up to break the news of his sexuality to his parents when his mother shouted the message about dinner and their guests they seemed to be having.

_Damn, damn, damn, fuck _this meant that his plan was ruined.

He couldn´t tell them when they had guests, he was ready he had to be but that didn't mean he wanted it to be public knowledge and he knew it would spread if friends of his parents found out.

He was also pretty sure that their reaction would be catastrophic and he wouldn´t want other people to see that freak out, it would be a disaster.

The thing was that he was afraid that if he didn´t do it today he may never get up the courage to do it, ever. He decided there and then that sometime tonight his secret would be out it just had to be.

Five minutes later he had changed and took one last look in the mirror. He looked kind of handsome, he had lost a lot of weight since his childhood and he filled out nicely, he was not small by any means but now it was more about being built and big boned than having a ton of extra fat.

While descending the stairs he wondered who the guests could be, he hadn´t used this suit since New Year's Eve so they had to be kind of special.

He stopped abruptly though when he heard his mother greeting their guests.

She was being overly polite and it was obvious to Dudley even without seeing the too bright smile on her face "Oh it´s so nice to meet you miss Stevens and to see you again Mr. Stevens."

"You too Petunia, this is my daughter Mary and we are very excited to be here tonight" Dudley had never heard of these people before and he furrowed his eyebrows, it seemed his mother knew the man from somewhere though.

He tried to peek around the corner and saw a man maybe in his mid-forties and a girl that couldn't be much older than he was, she had flowing long chocolate brown hair wore a dress with a flower print and had an easygoing smile. He guessed she was pretty or even beautiful if you were into the "girl next door" kind of thing.

The question was why they were there and what his parents wanted from these people, they never did go to this kind of trouble without being after something for themselves.

"I´m sure my very handsome and extremely mature son Dudley will be down soon and my husband is in his office, you know how work can be" why was his mother trying to sell him to these people, it sickened him and gave him an uneasy feeling that was starting to grow in the pit of his stomach.

"While I go fetch Vernon why don´t you make yourself comfortable and please feel free to look around" his mother was saying and Dudley was fast to finish his way down the stairs so that no one would know he had been standing there listening in on their conversation.

It wasn´t long until the Dursleys and the 2 Stevens was sitting around the dinner table. The first 2 courses had gone by without a hitch and to Dudley´s surprise it was actually quite a nice atmosphere and pleasant conversation.

He and Mary had a good time getting to know each other. When his parents had toned down their over the top attempts to impress Mr. Stevens they actually was able to hold an even interesting dialogue with the man.

"This has been such a lovely evening, it´s a shame my wife couldn't be here I know she would have enjoyed this immensely" Mr. Stevens was saying.

His parents looked very pleased and Vernon answered "I´m sure we will have many more dinners like this in the future so there will be plenty of opportunity" he cocked his head before adding "we may even become family someday."

This made Dudley very confused and the uneasy feeling from before intensified tenfold but he knew better then to question his parents at a dinner like this. Just talk when a question is asked he had been told.

"I say that could very well be likely if we go by how this evening is going, your daughter is lovely and would be so very welcome into this family" Petunia gushed and the far too bright smile was back.

Dudley looked across the table at Mary to see if she had a clue what their parents were talking about. To his astonishment she had a light blush on her cheeks and gave him a small nervous smile.

What was going on? He had a horrible feeling it had to do with him. Once again his parents was making decisions for him behind his back, normally he would just go with it but he had promised himself, not any more.

"Maybe you young people would like to continue this evening away from us boring old folks, what would you guys say to go to the cinema?" Mr. Stevens suggested and then it hit Dudley what this dinner was meant to be. They were setting him up.

On a date, with a girl, _crap_ what was he supposed to do now?

He felt like throwing up and he had to get away "may I be excused?" he asked. Him parents looked at him strangely but after a few seconds his mum nodded and he fled into the bathroom.

He looked in the mirror over the sink, he was whiter than a sheet and he even looked more insecure then he felt. He splashed some water in his face and sighed this was going to be harder than he had thought. He had to say no there was no other way he had to tell them no.

_I´m ready and whatever will come I can handle_ his inner pep talk was not making him feel any better.

"I´m gay" he blurted out and even his own reflected image shuddered, it was the first time he had ever said it out load even to himself.

After taking a deep breath he straightened up and walked back out to the dining table to get it over with. The walk there felt like his last march, every step getting him closer to the end and with every step the next one becoming heavier like a weight was added onto his shoulders.

Even before he was back at the table his mother spotted him "Oh there you are darling, to have time to catch that movie you should probably leave soon" she was smiling encouragingly at him and he stopped just a few feet away from the table.

He was shaking his head viciously "I… I can´t" he wanted to say so much more but that was the only thing that came out "I just can´t."

Everyone was frowning and looking at him now asking the silent question why.

Petunia was the first one to address the unexpected change of events "But Mary was just saying how well she thought you two connected and how much fun she have had talking to you, don´t you want to get to know her better?"

Dudley was still shaking his head not saying anything.

Mary was the one that spoke next. "It´s okay I´m kind of tired anyway, and we can always do it another night" she smiled at him tentatively and Dudley thought what she said had almost sounded more like a question then the statement it was meant to be.

Petunia turned to her and beamed "that is a brilliant idea, I´m sure Dudley just got sick or something and would like that" she gave him a warning glance before an "isn't that right honey?"

Scrunching his eyes shut he silently counted to 10 in his head. When he opened his eyes again he said with an even and detriment voice "no, I´m sorry but no."

Mary looked defeated and was looking down at the table top, he hadn´t wanted to hurt her but it wasn´t his fault his parents had invited them and given her false hope.

His mother on the other hand was now becoming ridged and her lips were stretched into a thin line while her eyes had narrowed dangerously. He didn´t even chance a look at his father for fear of losing the little courage he had before he had crossed the no turning point.

"Why not? Mary is a lovely girl and you seem to get along just fine. This is a great opportunity, just give it a try it´s not like we expect you to marry and give us grandchildren by tomorrow." Dudley knew that was probably exactly what they had expected but it was beside the point.

He had never defied his parents before, never and this was such a huge deal that he found himself standing there not saying anything. _I just need to say those two words _he thought frantically _just two words_, _I´m gay._ "I´m gay!" he ended up almost shouting.

He closed his eyes again so he didn´t have to see the reactions around the table. It was done, his life would never be the same, he just hoped he hadn´t done the biggest mistake of his lifetime.

Vernon was laughing like this was some kind of joke "very funny son, you really fooled us there maybe you can become an actor someday huh?"

"You´re not gay honey, you are just confused and nervous because you haven´t been in a relationship before, you will see that when you have been with a girl it will all clear up" his mother said and Dudley understood that this was a way out. The easy way out, he could just say that they were probably right and still go through life the way his parents wanted him to, he could still take the safe road. He was done tough, living like this was only a half-life and he wanted no needed to be him and do things for himself for a change.

"Don´t worry a lot of people goes through a phase like this and in the end it means nothing we all doubt what´s right sometimes" even Mr. Stevens was in on this charade it seemed.

The only one that hadn´t said anything was Mary and he looked at her waiting for some similar remark but was met with sad eyes and a mouthed sorry. It seemed ironic but apparently the one he rejected was the one that had his back.

"No, I´m neither confused nor have I any doubts" he was doing this and there had to be no question about that he meant it. "I don´t like girls that way and I never will, it´s who I am and it´s not going to change" now there was no turning back.

The table rattled when Vernon stood up, his face was rapidly becoming a purplish color and his nostrils were flaring with anger.

Dudley shuddered but stood his ground, he was and not for the first time afraid of his own father.

Then Vernon started shouting "NO son of mine will EVER be gay, I won´t allow it" the last part was gritted out between clenched teeth.

Dudley knew then that it would come to that, he would be given an ultimatum but he didn´t really have a choice he wouldn´t suppress himself any longer he couldn´t do that to himself or to any poor girl his parents would want him to marry. It wouldn´t be right and no one would end up happy.

"Either you stop this nonsense" a sneer that could kill followed "marry a girl and start a family like a real man, or I don´t want to see your freak face her E.V.E.R again" Vernon looked like he could kill someone with his bare hands if someone just looked at him the wrong way.

He looked around the table wishing, or maybe more hoping against all sense that his mother would stand up and come to his rescue. What he saw was even worse than her not doing anything though, Petunia sat there silently crying and there was nothing he could do. Whatever would go down tonight he still would always love his mother and seeing her cry because of him was breaking his heart.

"What will it be boy" Vernon was looking impatient and almost as if he could care less about what he would do.

"I won´t marry a girl" was the only thing he said and that made Petunia sob and Vernon slam his fist down at the table.

Dudley was shaking now almost believing Vernon would jump over the table and attack him.

"Pack a bag your disgusting faggot and be out of this house in under 1 hour or else" Dudley knew this was final and to be honest he wasn´t sure he wanted to stay there anyway, not after this. "You are even more freakish than that stupid cousin of yours" Vernon was livid and started to walk around the table.

Before Dudley could react his father had grabbed him by the collar of his suit jacket and pushed him up against the wall, a gasp was heard from behind but Dudley´s view was cut off by the massive figure holding him up in an iron grip. "You are not coming back here, you are no longer my son, you are worth nothing more than this fly" as he was saying this he captured a fly and crushed it with the hand not holding Dudley "now out of my face before I do the same to you, you little man-whore" he spat and Dudley felt spit hitting him all over his face.

It took a few seconds after Vernon released him before he moved and disappeared up the stairs to his room to pack a bag.

Tears where streaming down his cheeks, _why am I crying_ he had been aware that this had been a big possibility but he hadn´t been prepared to feel this hurt when his fears came true. He swiftly wiped away the tears and started to throw clothes into a duffel bag.

He didn´t know where to go or what to do, he knew no one from his extended family would take him in. He had saved up money though for just this purpose, if he was disowned. _Disowned_ he felt hollow this meant he wasn´t even a Dursley anymore maybe he could become an Evans?

Evans, this remembered him of Harry maybe he could contact him. He was extremely opened minded with a hero complex after all and forgiving on top of that. He knew that he would help him, Dudley was still wary of magic but after just a few seconds he had decided that contacting Harry was the right thing to do, he was family after all.

He remembered the piece of paper with an address laying in Harry´s old room from the last time he had been to number 4 Privet Drive and before he went down the stairs of the house for the last time himself in maybe forever he went in and grabbed the paper and stuffed it into his back pocket.

Before he left Petunia came up to him on the front porch and it was obvious that she had been crying the whole time he had been upstairs "come back when you have come to your senses" she was saying "I still love you but I can´t support this, come find me when you have a family."

She gave him a big hug then she stepped away turned around and walked back into the house, the door closed and he heard it being looked from the inside. "Bye mum" he said to himself and made his way into the night with an unknown future but at least this future was as Dudley, just Dudley.


	4. Chapter 4: Something Slytherin

**Chapter 4: Something Slytherin **

Draco was bored out of his mind he was pacing the halls of the manor trying to find something to do to stimulate his intellect. Since the war had ended and he had finished his education at Hogwarts as an 8th year he had read every book that had even moderately interested him in the library of the manor (and that was quite a feat if he would say so himself), he had written his own potions book, he had taken up drawing and even learned to cook. Now he was out of ideas to what to do next.

He needed to found something to occupy him, a scheming or some plan that involved some cunning strategies or manipulative ways. He needed something Slytherin to do.

Damn the ministry for holding him on house arrest because deeming him a "dangerous influence". He snorted he had never even killed anyone, and thank merlin for that.

He was not allowed to leave the manor expect to go to muggle places, which he was not comfortable enough doing afraid he would seem like a fool for not knowing anything about their strange things and traditions. He was not allowed to read The Prophet or send owls. He was an exile to the wizarding community, at least his sentence had only been 2 years and it would be over in a few months' time but every day seemed longer than the one that had just ended.

He understood what they wanted to accomplish here, to set him as an example and in the same time force him to educate himself about muggles if he wanted to socialize and start living again. This was hard to do though while trying to forget the horrible things that were still haunting him from the war.

It would have been a much better way to just make him take a course in muggle studies and order him to see a mind healer. Their way of thinking did not make any sense to Draco at all. He was even allowed to use magic, admittedly just small spells and such but the whole purpose of learning to see things the muggle way of his punishment was totally lost on him.

To have his wand was such a relive though and he would always be grateful to Potter for returning it to him even though he hadn´t had any obligations to do such a thing. It had been totally unexpected when he had turned up on Draco´s doorstep just a month into his house arrest.

_He hadn´t had 1 single visitor in the first month since he had been stuck in the manor. He wasn´t lonely not really he was used to fend for himself never having any siblings or other people around spending most of his time with house elves as a child. _

_So to say that he was surprised when he felt the wards flutter was an understatement. He had not been expecting company._

_He was in his study working on making the instructions for the Baruffio's Brain Elixir in his book "Good Potions, Bad Intentions" were he listed all potions that had a bad reputation but in it´s pure form was quite brilliant and were it really was the usage of it that was at fault._

_When he thought of it the potions was like him in a way, he was disliked by almost everyone and the Malfoy name was not something to brag about these days. He as the potions was not evil to the core, it had been evil influences and circumstances that had made him become a part and used in the process of creating something evil. He had a long way to redeem himself and what he had done and it felt right with starting to do something good for the world if so only by redeeming some old potions._

_It was a few minutes later and he could still feel the wards and he cursed under his breath. He had totally forgotten that he was not allowed to have a house elf while on probation, that meant in this case that whoever was at the gate to the manor had not been greeted and this was not acceptable._

_If there was anything Draco still had left even if he was a lot more humble since his earlier school days it was the Malfoy pride and he thought it very important to behave like a proper pureblood._

_He thanked merlin for being allowed to apparate inside the manor otherwise it would take him minutes only to get to the front doors._

_With a crack he appeared in front of the gates and stood frozen. What was he doing here?_

_The man on the other side fidgeted and looked really out of place before breaking the silence "Um, Malfoy" he looked uncertain and added "it´s good to see you?"_

_Draco stared some more and took in the man's appearance. He looked older than the last time he had seen him. Admittedly the last time he had really seen Potter was in 6__th__ year after that everything in his mind was fogged by a haze where nothing had really registered, and furthermore Potter had decided not to do the 8__th__ year instead taking a year to "mentally heal" the papers had said._

_He had a more mature, sophisticated and calm atmosphere around him now, like he had found himself and was fine with his life. His body had matured as well. The first thing he noticed was that his hair was now cut so that even an unstylish Gryffindor could maintain it or at least so it seemed. His eyes looked clearer as if what had haunted them in the past was now gone and they were currently looking at him questionably. Oh yea he should probably say something._

_"__Well, surprised to see you here Potter, are you here to see that your charity case is behaving?" he just couldn´t help but make a snide comment and lifted one of his eyebrows in trademark Malfoy fashion._

_Potter looked irritated, it felt good to see that something never changed and that he could still rile the wizard up without much problem._

_He was surprised when Potter just shook it off though without taking the bait. "You're not a charity case, I actually came to apologize and deliver something I should have given you a long time ago" he actually looked a little guilty if Draco looked more closely, he had mistaken the fidgeting and uncertainty for nervousness earlier._

_Draco cocked his head as if prompting him to go on, he couldn´t think of anything Potter should need to apologize for and anyhow he had repaid all debts there may have been by saving his life and what not._

_"__Uh maybe you could let me in?" Draco rolled his eyes and opened the gate to allow Potter entrance and they made their way back to the manor and the large sitting room._

_On the way there he noticed Potter´s clothes and posture had also improved a lot since their last interaction. The trousers he had on was actually quite flattering to his backside and the way he walked made a chill run up Draco´s spine, he reeked confidence and power._

_It was mostly destroyed when he opened his mouth though, was nice to know he wasn´t perfect. "Eh, so yea… I´m sorry, I um kind of forgot" Potter looked up him sincerely and Draco signed sometimes or rather more often than not Potter was quite daft._

_"__Potter, what did you forget? I can´t forgive you for whatever if I don´t know what it is you have supposedly not given me" Potter flushed and instead of saying anything presented him a wooden box._

_Draco took it casually "So yea I know I should have given it to you right after… But you know the war… then it was the funerals and the trials… anyway found it a few days ago or rather Ron actually but…" any more of Potter´s ramblings was on death ears when Draco had opened the box._

_He let out a gasp, inside was HIS wand the one he had thought was lost forever. He blinked several times, was it a dream or maybe he was hallucinating? But no when he carefully took out the wand he hadn´t held in over a year he felt the familiar excitement and connection with his magic._

_He swirled it and let out a small chuckle, he felt like a child. Before he knew it he was giving Potter a big hug and the man was gaping at him. "Ugh, I guess you forgive me then" he said whit a smile._

_Draco didn´t think it was anything there to forgive to be honest. "Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me" he said instead._

After that he had invited Harry for tea and they had actually had a good time.

Later that same night Draco had not been able to go to sleep before he had rather vividly fantasized about those green eyes now full of life and that arse in those fitted jeans.

He had at the time just shrugged it off to him being lonely and that it had been the first person he had seen and had had any contact with for weeks.

Later though when Harry had never came to visit him again and he had felt disappointed he slowly started to think it may have meant something more. He was not above admitting to himself what he wanted.

If he had been able to he had probably contacted Potter, but the no owls and not being allowed on wizard areas had made that extremely hard unfortunately. Potter´s 1 visit had also been the only one so he couldn´t really send forward a message through someone else either.

This was it though, what he was searching for. A Malfoy always get what he wants, a scheming plan to get to Potter would surely be able to keep him occupied for a while and it would be a lot of fun.

He had a lot to figure out though, he needed the means to get to an end. And he also needed to be cunning to get Potter to be in on that end whatever he decided he wanted it to be.

The planning was interrupted by the wards. Unlike when he had just a visitor though it was more than the feeling of someone wanting to breach the wards. The feeling was accompanied by a high pitched noise and it was giving him a headache, bloody heel but it was load.

First he couldn´t seem to remember what this meant, but then he froze in the middle of the hallway.

A muggle was at the edge of the wards to the manor, a muggle. He had never heard the warning mechanisms for muggles before but his parents had described them and he was certain that it was the sound he was hearing at the moment.

A muggle had not by their free will sat it´s foot on the grounds in over 100 years. Draco was at a loss of both why a muggle was there and how it had found its way there in the first place.

Bracing himself he took a deep breath, dealing with muggles he grimaced just at the thought. But he was curious too, as he apparated to the gate his last thought was _well at least this is strictly not boring._


	5. Chapter 5: Muggle Mail

**Chapter 5: Muggle Mail**

The first thing he saw when he turned up at the manor´s front gates was a man wandering around and looking confused. He hadn´t noticed Draco yet and thank merlin for that if the muggle had seen Draco just turn up from practically nowhere that would have been bad especially since he currently was not allowed to obliviate anyone.

It was seriously hard to be around muggles he thought to himself as he took in the man's appearance. It was rather particular even for a muggle.

He had a blue hat with a crest on the front on the top of his head, small dull gray/green eyes and an awful red brownish mustache that did not flatter his face shape what so ever. Draco couldn't help but sneer and that made the muggle look his way.

His attire was in the same style as the hat and he had a big satchel hanging over his shoulder with what looked like a lot of letters.

The man had stumbled up to the gate and was now searching through his bag, he didn´t stop before he had a small cream colored envelope in his hand.

"Sorry sir, I didn´t know how to contact you and I couldn´t find a mail box." He looked apologetic, _mail box_ Draco thought amused like he would have strange muggle inventions when there were owls.

He didn´t give the man more of an answer than lifting his eyebrow. So this man was the muggle equivalent for owls then, he guessed it kind of fit but talk about to be humiliating to do work that was supposed to belong to a bird. This just strengthen his believes that muggles really where more stupid then wizards, there was proof of this all around.

The owl man fidgeted and said more uncertain "you are uh" he looked down at the letter in his hand "Harry Potter, right?" at this Draco´s other eyebrow joined the first before the man looked at the envelope again "and this is Malfoy Manor, Bradford on Avon Wiltshire, South West England, United Kingdom?"

Draco rolled his eyes, go figure this buffoon didn´t even know for sure where in the country he was. He had to think fast though, this man had something of Harry´s and he was about to give that to him.

This could be the start of the great scheming he was after to get closer to Potter, _sometimes things fall into place without me needing to do anything_ he thought a smirk forming on his lips. "Yes of course, I´m Harry and this is my home Malfoy Manor" he said giving the man a small nod.

"Well then let me in so I can give you your letter" the owl man looked like he wanted to be on his way as fast as humanly possible.

Draco on the other hand had other plans, he hadn´t had some fun in months and it wasn´t below him to play a little prank on muggles.

He opened the big iron gates and the man was about to take a step inside but suddenly looked thoroughly disoriented. Draco had forgotten that the wards around the manor didn´t let muggles trespass and if they tried it the wards left them confused and they forgot they had wanted to pass and why in the first place.

Sighing Draco himself walked out of the gates and up to the man "my letter then… I don´t think I ever catched your name?"

The owl man flushed like he was not used to having people inquire about such things "Herbert sir" he said and smiled at Draco. Closing his eyes he tied not to laugh at the muggle man, his name was even extremely fitting for an owl.

"Pleasure, would you like to have a treat before you continue? I assume you had to travel quite far outside your normal route to get to my fine home." He silently cast and _Accio owl treats_ and saw the man nod "that´s so kind of you sir, thank you."

Draco presented him with the bag of treats and the man eagerly took a few "what are these? I have never eaten anything quite like them before" the owl man Herbert said munching happily and continuing eating a few more.

Biting his own lip he stared at the muggle in front of him, he was actually enjoying the pet food. If the man had been a wizard his animagus form would have been an owl without a doubt. His intellect was far from owls though, but then again he also was a muggle so the low intellect level was to be expected after all.

Of course Draco had giving him the best owl treats there was to buy, imported from the south of France, if he remembered correctly it was ham pate surrounded by dried rat meat. He shuddered he wouldn´t eat that even if it was the only thing on the table but he wasn´t an owl either.

He was torn between laughing at how ridiculous the man was and frown at the disgusting sight "it´s a meat snack, a delicacy from my relatives in France I believe, if you want it it´s yours."

The man looked at him his eyes widening comically, he looked more and more like an owl by the minute. "Thank you, thank you, thank you" the man said and after looking at his watch he paled "have to rush, much more letters to deliver." He put the owl treats inside his already over stuffed satchel threw his leg over a strange looking metal object with 2 wheels that started to spin when he moved his legs, looking over his shoulder he said "was nice meeting you sir, hope to see you again someday" and then he was gone.

Draco stood there for a few minutes before shaking his head that had been one strange meeting he hoped he would not need to endure again. He decided that one muggle encounter every 10-15 years or so was quite enough.

Every encounter had its perks though he thought with satisfactory, hearing the muggle call him sir was something he could get used to. He could just imagine roleplaying with Potter in the future and hearing him purr it in his ear. His musings made him shiver pleasantly and he was now even more detriment to get Potter and he griped the letter a little tighter hoping it really was something useful in his quest to get to the saviour.

He decided to walk back to the manor, he needed the fresh air and he also needed a sharp head when dealing with the letter.

Making himself a cup of tea he made his way to his study before inspecting the letter. Indeed it said Harry Potter and his address he turned the letter around and frowned when he noticed the lack of an address from the sender, maybe it was someone sending information of top priority.

Not wasting any more time he opened the seal and started reading the scrawl that actually wasn´t too far off from what he had seen of Harry´s handwriting in school.

_Dear __Harry_

_Um hi… Ugh you will probably wonder why I´m writing well it´s complicated and I just hope you will read and not dismiss me before hearing me out… Please!_

_By the way it´s Dudley __Dursley,__ I guess not Dursley anymore… Eh you see I was disowned._

_And well I do not have anyone else to ask for help. Yea I need your help and I know I have been well an arsehole to you in the past __and despite having my reasons__ it was not right and I am sorry you know… Well now you know at least._

_You will probably not believe me at first when I said I was disowned, I wouldn´t believe me either if I didn´t know what I am. So I guess I have to tell you huh… _

_I´m… I am an um fairy, fruit, shirt lifter, batting for the other team, not into girls, I AM A HOMOSEXUAL! Well there you have it you have a gay cousin._

_As you can imagine these news was NOT taken well by __my father __uh Vernon, he kicked me out after threatening me and I don´t know why I´m telling you this because what I deserve is you laughing at me and saying "karma"._

_I understand now more than ever though how it is to feel different and you know not normal, a freak. I have joined your club not to mean I think you are a freak anymore or that I ever really did I just meant in the club of people Vernon sees as freaks. Well I have never been good with writing and I´m botching this up I know it so I will get to the point before you burn this letter without even finish reading it._

_I need a place to stay, I´m kind of homeless and I have no one else. I know you have this instinct to help people and well here is your chance to help well me, I would owe you big time. You don´t have to see me even if you don´t want to I just need somewhere to sleep._

_So will you take me in? PLEASE… You have to know how desperate I am to write to you in the first place and now I´m kind of begging, but you are the only relative that I have that I know is opened minded and won´t judge me for who I am now when everyone knows. _

_I would actually hope that you would want to get to know me. I have not allowed myself to be me and stand up for what I want and believe in before in fear for rejection __and not being loved__ but I couldn´t do it anymore and I hope you will want to know me and see that I am not as twisted as my father. I am NOT my father, I mean Vernon. I´m going to stop know I have already told you too much…_

_Your cousin Dudley_

_P.S. To send me a message ugh you can maybe send that spell you used to fend of the dementors, the silver coloured mist animal thing? Please no owls they scare me. Oh so you know I´m still wary of magic and will avoid it if I can but I have never despised it. Just thought you should know… _

Draco put the parchment down on the desk in front of him after reading it through a second time. Not quite what he had imagined but quite interesting all the same.

As everyone else he had heard things about Potter´s childhood, stories of living in a cupboard under the stairs and being treated like a house elf. He had also heard things about this Dudley bloke being a bully and making his life a living hell before Hogwarts.

He was not so eloquent and stumbled on his words but Draco did think this bloke also was a misunderstood person. Like himself and his potions in the book he wrote, they were not bad or evil just had been influenced to do bad things to get through life without breaking. He knew all about making bad choices.

Strangely enough he felt that he and Harry Potter´s cousin had something in common. But surely this was once again something coming from him being alone in the manor for far too long. He having something in common with a muggle just the thought was making him feel ill.

Anyhow Dudley would be perfect to use to get to Harry as well as get his reputation up a bit. People would think he took in a muggle only out of his good heart, which sounded so _Hufflepuff,_ he shuddered. Even if helping Harry´s cousin wasn´t a priority he would be helping him, he would let a muggle live in the manor. He was clearly going insane.

After thinking it through one last time he got to the conclusion that the pros were far larger than the cons. Really how much damaged could 1 single muggle do, and maybe he could have some fun scaring him using magic.

The last few months of his probation was at least not going to be boring.

He was so glad now that he had practiced and mastered the spell under the first months he had been on house arrest. He closed his eyes while he thought on his happiest memory and cast an _Expecto Patronum_ then gave it a message to give to Dudley before sending it on its way.

He was quite exasperated though at the fact that a muggle, a bloody muggle had thought of this way of communication. He had been able to contact anyone in the wizarding world if he had just been cleaver enough to think of it.

Trying not to dwell on that he sat down behind his desk again, he had more important things to plan. Now he just had to wait a little longer and then the fun would begin.


	6. Chapter 6: Peculiar Patronus

**Chapter 6: Peculiar Patronus**

Dudley groaned and arched his back. He had taken in at a bed and breakfast just a mile or so from his home, well ex home he should say. After writing and sending his letter to Harry he had said good bye to the people he thought may miss him and took the bag with the only things he now owned. He had left the town he grew up in behind him, maybe for good who knew.

The train ride towards London had not been kind to his neck though when he had fallen asleep, his muscles were groaning as he stretched to relive some tension.

He was anxious at hearing back from Harry, he really didn´t have a plan B if Harry didn´t want to or could help him he had no idea what to do. Dudley knew it was a big risk to hand his fate over in someone else's hands like that, but what choice did he have?

The compartment door creaked open and a lady was outside the door "do you wish to buy something for the journey mister?" she asked him, with a kind smile and all too knowing eyes which reminded him of his old teacher Ms. Snowden.

He shook his head though, he was a bit hungry but he could not afford to spend his savings on something here.

When he thought about it food was not the first thing he would buy when he had money. He had so many things that he had supressed wanting through the years.

Some would say he had been spoiled through his whole life. Dudley didn´t disagree with them remembering the mountain of presents he had gotten at every birthday growing up.

But the thing was that he had not let anyone know what he wanted so the mountain of presents was not really for him at all, they had been for the son his parents wanted him to be. He had been so afraid that if people knew what he desired they would somehow be one step closer to figure out his secret.

Which of course wasn´t a secret anymore meaning when he had money he could buy the things that he would enjoy that would make him like himself again, if that was possible, well he would at least try.

It wasn´t that he thought of himself as wanting to be a flamboyant kind of gay guy. He was not like Callum, wanting to have all the stereotypically gay things. That didn't mean he wanted to be stereotypically straight either though, even though he wasn´t quite sure what being stereotypically straight might entail. He was sure that the fake Dudley was pretty close to that though, or at least nowhere near in the middle of the 2 stereotypes, where he felt that he would somehow maybe belong.

He and Callum had once sneaked into his mum´s room when she and Vernon had been away on a weekend trip and painted each other's fingernails, it had been fun but Dudley didn´t see himself doing that regularly, it didn´t really fit his personality, not the fake him or the real him.

That was the thing thought the fake him would never have even considered trying that or experiment with typical girly things. The real him wanted to try a lot of things and see just what things was for him and what would make him feel like the person he wanted to be.

It saddened him but supressing himself for so long had made him forget who he really was, he could say who he wasn´t but to pinpoint the things that made Dudley himself just gave him nothing. He knew fake Dudley inside and out he could slip into that character at any given moment. The truth was Dudley didn´t really know himself.

He was a stranger in his own body.

Like for example, what was his favourite colour, what clothes did he want to wear, how would he like having his hair? Dudley had no clue to any of these things, because he had never thought the day would come when he would have the opportunity to do as he wished with his own life.

His mum had always chosen his clothes, and he had been happy about that because that had meant that he would not accidentally choose something that wasn´t fitting for a regular guy and bring unwanted attention. Now though he wanted to feel comfortable in his own skin, he wanted to be stylish but not petite, he wanted to be a man that showed that he was aware of his style but wasn´t a fashionista.

He looked down at himself, he was wearing an old pair of washed out jeans and a black t-shirt with a print of an old popular rock band. Dudley didn´t even like rock even though his parents had always thought so and he had never corrected them because it was easier living a complete lie than only half of one.

His body made him stop musing for a moment, he had to pee. He made his way out of the compartment and down the hall to the closest bathroom.

It had become a habit for him to look into the mirror, and for each time he did he felt more lost then the time before. His mind was now a free spirit but his body was still trapped, looking like the old Dudley, looking like the guy he knew he wasn´t.

He thought of himself as an actor only he was always in character. He would break that someday and finally let his outsides reflect what he felt on the inside, let the world see who he was. It would take time though and he was okay with that, the hardest step had already been made.

Quirking his lips to form a smile made him grimace when he saw the fake smile in the mirror. He didn´t know how it felt to be truly happy and fake Dudley never smiled he smirked. Someday he promised himself he would give a real smile, he would find what or who it was that would make him happy.

When he was just about to pull down his trousers he almost jumped through the roof when something appeared through the wall right over the sink. He made an undignified sound and watched frozen as it jumped around the room in a swirl of a silvery mist circling around Dudley that stood still in astonishment.

Then he remembered he had told Harry to send him a message using this magic mist thing. It was nothing to be afraid of, after all it had saved his soul in the past.

Something was different from his memories though, he remembered Harry´s mist being a big stag and this one was definitely not a stag.

He furrowed his eyebrows as the animal shaped mist finally stopped right in front of Dudley´s half open pants making him blush even though he knew the wizard or witch sending it here couldn´t actually see him.

It was a weasel, a quite majestic looking one full of pride, but still a weasel.

The weasel cocked his head and stood up on its back paws making its head become level with Dudley´s. It almost looked as if the weasel was observing him and evaluated if he was deserving of what it had come here to say.

Dudley looked bemused at the animal as it appeared to raise one of its eyebrows before opening its mouth.

"It´s a pleasure to finally speak to you Dudley, I have heard so many interesting things about you from Harry" the weasel drawled in a voice almost as soft as silk and it made him shudder. Dudley strongly doubted that this boy or maybe man would have heard much nice things about him so the very pleasant greeting was not what he had expected from the stranger.

It wasn´t long before the animal started talking again and Dudley listened intently, this was it, his fate was going to be sealed right here in the bathroom of this train. He unconsciously held his breath "Harry however was unable to provide you with somewhere to stay at the moment, and is sending his outmost sympathies to the outcome of your coming out and the predicament you now find yourself in" Dudley let the air leave his lungs feeling as he might cry so this was it then he was on his own.

"However I have a whole mansion for my disposal and I of the goodness of my heart will happily provide you one of my nicest rooms for you to stay in, as long as you wish." Dudley blinked and looked wide eyed at the weasel. The weasel then chuckled "don´t look so surprised, why else would I be contacting you, hmm?" Maybe the magical boy the weasel represented really could see him, he squirmed uncomfortably.

In a blink of an eye the weasel had moved closer to Dudley and was almost whispering in his ear "I look forward seeing you, meet me in muggle London, well London say in front of the central station at noon tomorrow" he felt something cold brush up against his cheek, the weasel had brushed his face as it like a flash had disappeared through the same wall as it had appeared from minutes before.

Dudley was confused, had the weasel been flirting with him? No that was totally absurd.

Even if Harry couldn´t take him in why hadn´t he even bothered sending his own message?

Most urgently though how would he be able to meet with this stranger? The central station in London was not a small place and at noon it would be crowded. He also had no clue to what the guy even looked like, the only thing he knew was the wizards voice. He shook his head, the only way he would ever find any answers was to be there at the station tomorrow.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Draco was in his study pacing, yes a Malfoy pacing what had the world come to. He was a Slytherin and his plan to lure the bait in was fool proof so why on earth was he feeling dare he say it, nervous about the meeting that would go down in a little under, he checked the time, well half an hour.

He had thought every detail through and a plan that couldn´t fail had formed in his head. It had hurt a little to be overly nice to the muggle cousin of Harry Potter, to pretend that he Draco Malfoy actually cared but it was all a necessity of the situation.

If the boy knew who he was maybe he would even have taken his chances on the street instead of allowing Draco to use him for his own benefit and they couldn´t have that could they. He was not going to abuse the other male though, he was nothing but a gracious host, and he had promised him one of the nicest room in the manor after all.

If he was totally honest he was actually a bit excited to have a visitor again, even if said visitor only was a means to a much happier end. Living in exile for this long was sure to otherwise drive him insane.

He was not pleased about going into the situation without knowledge though. Knowledge was power and without it you were vulnerable. When his weasel, who he called Red, had come back after delivering the message it had had nothing to report back. On the other hand he doubted very much that the muggle´s knowledge on a Patronus was very extensive.

He thought about what Potter or worse Weasley would say if they knew his Patronus was a weasel. They would definitely laugh their arses of, he shuddered at the thought. If he would succeed in getting Harry though it would all come to light and he had to prepare mentally for when the time would come.

He had been furious the first time he had been able to perform the charm and Red had come out from the tip of his wand.

After some time to think about it though he was not that disappointed. A weasel was too much like a ferret of course and it also was this unflattering red colour for sure. Draco as the practical and smart man he was though had seen his Patronus for what it was. A weasel may not be the most flattering animal in either appearance or reputation, but it was famous for its sharpness and quickness, which meant it did fit him rather well come to think of it, he had one of the sharpest minds where quick thinking was something he was proud to say he possessed. He was also nothing but resourceful and could spin almost any situation around so that it would suit him and his needs.

Plus what would a little humiliation do later when he was on the arm of the most powerful man of wizarding Britain, hell the wizarding world. Harry was going to restore both his name and reputation so what was one laugh at his expense. If he was honest with himself he also hoped Harry would give him a lot more, he wanted Harry on more than one level for more than practical reasons.

First step of the master plan was to show he had changed for real and to do that he had take the muggle cousin into Malfoy manor, if he thought of the end fulfilling this part of the plan would surely go without a hitch.

He stopped pacing, smirked to himself and left the room, he was ready to go and collect his perfect pawn in his perfect scheme.


	7. Chapter 7: Power Play

**Chapter 7: Power Play**

Draco didn´t hate muggles not really, when he thought about it he never had. He just hated what they stood for and how they behaved like barbarians. They really had no class and not to sound superior or anything but a lot of them didn´t seem to have much of a brain either.

When Draco had been younger he had even looked forward to see the muggle world, it had been this great unknown and he had thought going out there would be this great adventure. It had been an adventure all right, but not of the pleasant and adrenaline filled kind.

He recalled the first time he had been to the muggle world and why with a foul taste and a frown gracing his otherwise smooth forehead.

_"__Draco, I need to talk to you in my study_ _"__Lucius said rather sternly to his son, not that he didn´t always sound stern Draco though but nodded obediently "yes father." _

_Draco had never been allowed to enter his father's study before so he knew this had to be rather important and he felt excitement bubble inside his chest to be included in something that required the use of his dad´s office. He quickly suppressed the excited feeling before he would get an excited expression on his face, if he showed any emotions without permission Lucius may change his mind and then think he wasn´t ready to be included after all._

_Entering the room Draco couldn´t help but look around the room he had only been able to sneak peeks of earlier. It was bigger than he had previously believed and had an air of being important, like in this very room important decisions was made all the time. Everything was polished and in complete order making Draco feeling that even breathing was wrecking the perfection around him._

_When he glanced at Lucius again he looked both impatient and satisfied to his response to the room that had been a mystery for so long. Lucius had taken a seat in the chair behind the big oak desk and looked like there was no other place he would fit in better._

_"__Please take a seat Draco" Lucius said and made a hand gesture at the chair on the other side of the desk. The chair was the only thing in the room that wasn´t looking expensive and lush, Draco almost made a grimace at the chair that he would think rather belonged at a home for a Weasley than in his father's study. He glared at the chair but a moment later was seated gingerly at the edge so that his feet were able to reach the ground._

_When Lucius didn´t say anything Draco raised his eyes to his fathers to be met with a stare filled with power and confidence, he felt very small and somehow he felt inferior to his father. Maybe it was because of Lucius way of holding himself the way he was looking at Draco or the simple feeling of the difference between his chair and the one on the other side of the desk._

_"__Power!" the one word was said with so much power that Draco shuddered, Lucius inflicted both superiority and fare in him with only one word and an ice cold stare. "You do what you need to get what you want, nothing is out of limits when it can get you to power, the end always justified the means" Draco nodded automatically to his father's words even if the meaning behind them hadn´t even yet really registered in his mind._

_"__A Malfoy always gets what they want and this is because we take what we want without having a conscious for other people's feelings and desires, a person is only as important as they are useful to our purpose." _

_Draco did see his father's point, he did not see how every action could be justified though if they hurt people just for someone else to gain power, he had always connected power with knowledge and clever people but it seemed that Lucius connected it with manipulation and evil means._

_"__With this said as the heir of the Malfoy family you have a responsibility to the our family to gain power with every given opportunity and do what must be done to uphold our status as one of the most influential and strongest pure-blooded branch of the wizarding world" Draco almost squirmed in his seat of the weight he felt was laid upon his small shoulders._

_Lucius gave him a small smile before he stood up and walked around the desk, "I´m glad to see you taking this with the great honour it´s worth and the seriousness it deserves, I will personally teach you everything I can for you to achieve what I expect of you." Draco knew he had no choice than to do what was expected of him and live his life as the Malfoy he was born to be._

_"__It´s a great honour father, thank you" he squeaked when Lucius didn´t say anything for a few seconds._

_He felt a hand clap him on the head in appreciation and knew he had pleased Lucius with his obedience and interest, he had nothing to fare today. Draco knew what would happen and he had done the mistake to stand up to his father before, he was not about to do that again, the nightmares of his punishment was still as vivid as if it had happened yesterday._

_"__Today you will get your first lesson on doing what it takes, we are going out into the muggle world to get you clothes for my meeting with the American ambassador. To say I despise muggles are an understatement but they have power that I want, they are easy to manipulate and to use to our advantage and that is enough for me to downgrade myself to act as an simple and undignified muggle" Draco had known his father did some muggle business but he had not expected him to go to this lengths to get the power he craved._

_Draco felt excitement in the pit of his stomach for being included in the dinner and getting to see the muggle world and interact with the creatures that in so many ways was so alike himself. He wanted to see for himself if the horrid stories of the humans that disgraced their kind were as horrible that his father made them out to be._

_*DM*_

_A few hours later he was angry, tired, filthy and the curios feelings that had earlier occupied him was now replaced by repulsion and pity for people that had to live like barbarians for longer then the half a day he had been made to endure._

_It had started with them having to make their way from the wizarding part of London by foot to later take something called a taxi that made him feel sick to his stomach. The black thing that was called a car was something that he would be glad to never have to see ever again. _

_To make the experience so much worse it had started to rain and his parents had not granted his wishes to cast a water repulsing charm on him. Looking disappointingly at him they had chuckled and told the driver of the black metal box called a taxi that Draco was in a period where he played a wizard. Draco had pouted but knew he had almost made a huge mistake and that he was not supposed to talk about magic with muggles._

_He was sitting on his bed in his bedroom, the water was still dripping from his hair and the clothes he had worn were ruined for sure. He didn´t see why his parents had to make him suffer when they could have cast a spell without anyone of the muggles even lifting an eyebrow. _

_He glanced at his shoes standing in the corner on the room and his beanie lying on the bureau just inside his room, he didn´t even want to touch those with a ten foot pole anymore. He had walked in dog poop and a bird had released some white goo on his head under the day and still his parents had done nothing to aid him._

_He guessed he should be happy though that it was just his beanie and that the white bird faeces hadn´t come in his hair, he didn´t even want to think of that, his hair was his favourite feature about himself and if the bird dropping had come in his hair he was not sure he would have been able to keep his cool._

_Magic he decided was something that made all the difference. It may not be the muggles fault but the fact that they were unable to perform magic was something that made them quite behind and handicapped in a lot of areas. He hated to have to agree with his father but they was beneath them, but he still did not think this made it okay to use them as something disposable._

_He did decide there and then though that he was going to try to stay away from the muggle world, he didn´t want them any harm and he guessed the muggles did not know how it was to live with magic so that to live without was normal for them, but for Draco living without magic was like fumbling in the dark._

_He was going to hold to one thing his father had said today though, Malfoy's always gets what they want._

From that day Draco had not settled for anything less than what he thought that he deserved but he was never going to blatantly take what he wanted while discarding others well not any more at least. His heart was not cold as ice as many wanted to believe.

He also had learned through the years that judging individuals because of a group was not something to be done lightly, just look at himself he wanted to believe that he was not a totally dark and emotionless person and yet he had been a part of the death eaters the very group that was the symbol of pure evil.

He was going to try to go into the muggle world today with an open mind, maybe this Dudley person was an individual that actually was worth to get to know. He had also learned that without taking a chance sometimes the chance to gain the most wonderful things also was lost.

Since the first time he had sat his foot on the other side he had tried to stay away and he had been rather successful. Going in to London now to collect his muggle bait was going to be the first time in over 10 years' time that Draco went and associated with muggles if you didn´t count the mail man incident the other day.

Draco wasn´t scared of muggles, no he just felt bad for them and as a Malfoy he was not supposed to feel bad for people, compassion was a weakness and he knew that muggles could make him feel that traitorous feeling. He was scared of being vulnerable and staying away from the muggle kind was his way of staying on top of his own emotions.

No Draco didn´t hate muggles and never had, he may not understand them and he may not feel even slightly connected to their sort but that didn´t mean he couldn´t feel pity for them and he had suppressed that feeling for years.

Draco had been spoiled as a child and he had always thought he deserved everything that was given to him, that you could use whatever mean to get to an end, that sacrifices of others was just a part of life to get to the top. Draco had learned a long time ago that it was not that easy, everything done for "the greater good" that Dumbledore would have said was not justified.

If you used someone to get to the end you desired by helping them on the way instead of throwing them to wolfs though, it was a completely different matter altogether. It may still not be very noble but it was both cunning and kind, so what if you deceived someone into helping you if you helped them in return. Draco saw this as the Slytherin way of being a good person and he therefor saw the use of Dudley as something justified and something to be proud of.

With this thought on his mind and a small smile on his lips he left for the central station in London.


	8. Chapter 8: 1st Meeting

**Chapter 8: 1****st**** Meeting**

Dudley was abruptly awakened by the sound of a voice over the intercom in the train announcing that they would arrive in London within the next 5 minutes.

He was a bit nervous about meeting the weasel guy from the other day, he knew that if a wizard wanted to use him or play with him like an animal of sorts he could. He knew he had to trust this guy to be a good and honorable man though, but he almost sounded too good to be true.

Dudley knew from experience that someone being too happy or in this case too polite meant that in the most cases it was a show to get someone to do something they wanted or believe in something that was simply not true. He had had a façade for a really long time and he would recognize someone not being true to themselves in a heartbeat.

You could be a good actor, so good that you even could fool yourself. Dudley had made himself believe that he was someone he wasn´t and never wanted to be to please others almost all his life. The thing was though that he had lived that life like a walking dead without heart and true emotions and instead just hollow commands and angered fear.

One thing the life he had lived had made him though was bad at giving orders and being the leader Vernon had almost certainly wanted him to be. That almost made him happy to be the opposite of what his father had tried to shape him into being.

Dudley hadn´t had the power of his own life and desires in his own hands for a really long time so to now have choices and being able to do what he wanted with his life and his future felt strange. He had found himself wondering what his parents would demand of him and expect him to be doing in different situations before he abruptly stopped remembering that what they wanted didn´t matter anymore because they would never support the real him and what did matter was him and what he wanted and his feelings and emotions.

Truth be told he wanted or maybe even needed someone he could trust, someone he knew would not try to use that trust and turn him into someone's puppet. He needed someone to let him be just him without demands but still be the one in charge. He did by no means want to be powerless and would not let that ever happen again but he didn´t want to be the one taking all the heavy decisions. He just wanted to feel save and loved for being himself and not for something he wasn´t.

His father would be appealed he knew but he didn´t care anymore he had finally realized what he wanted, he wanted to be taken care of, to have someone that understood him and could be the kind and passionate dominant he needed to steer him with a gentle hand. He needed someone that could be his rock, someone to listen and be there to help find himself and teach him what love was all about.

Just because he now knew what he wanted didn´t mean he knew who he was or what he was meant to do with his own life. But the fact that he knew that he had a long way to when he would accept a lot of things about the real him that he had been taught to disapprove of and that he had a long way to when he would be ready to open his heart to someone else and let them be the one he needed. Just the fact that he knew this was a step in the right direction finally he was on the right track the track that _he_ had chosen to travel on.

The 5 minutes had past fast under Dudley´s musings and he found himself having to scramble his things together to get off the train in time.

When the doors had closed behind him he took a deep breath and looked around and as he had though the station was packed with people, for what felt like the millionth time he couldn´t help but think that finding this guy was like searching for a needle in a haystack.

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He had apparated to a deserted back alley 3 blocks from the central station and then walked the rest of the way trying to blend in and not draw any attention from the muggles all around him.

He had of course done his research and was well prepared to make this experience as short as possible, he knew exactly where to go to have the best chance to find the muggle he was out to get in the least amount of time possible. He hadn't taken Arithmancy for nothing.

It really was fortunate that the wizarding world kept records of all the muggles in case that someone saw something they shouldn't and aurors would have to search them down to obliviate them. From these records that his family of course had a copy of, being a Malfoy did have it perks, he had found information about where in in the UK Dudley where from and from that he had predicted which train he had most likely taken to the station and he was now perched on the side of the staircase that came from the track he thought Dudley´s train would stop at.

He looked around while he was waiting on the wave of muggles that was bound to come any minute now, he grimaced in disgust seeing a group of teenagers eating some sort of greasy food with their bare hands. Really as he had thought ten years ago, barbarians the lot of them, they wouldn´t recognize class and manners if they looked it in the eye.

He had on a pair of sunglasses, a long black coat and finished his attire off with a hat. He had gone for discreet but was now wondering if he had over done it a bit when he got a few funny looks and even a snicker from a cheeky teenager walking past.

He had not time to come to a conclusion on the subject though before something hit him on the chest. There was a thud on his right and he looked around himself in bewilderment.

"Hey mate pass the ball back will you" a guy maybe 12 years old was shouting at him and then he saw the round ball laying a feet or 2 away from him. He had heard muggleborns talk about a sport in their world called soccer and even seen a picture once featuring this kind of ball. He snickered and made a movement with his leg making it seem like he kicked the ball forwards the guy while in reality he levitated the ball with speed and accuracy so that the ball hit the guy right in the gut "oops" he said aloud sounding sincerely apologetic.

That should teach the guy a lesson Draco thought pleased, he had changed since Hogwarts but he was not about to not give back to people that deserved it. He snickered even more when he heard the boy being scolded by his very frantic mother, "what have I been saying about playing in crowded places, no more playing on this trip" the woman looked up at Draco and gave him a small smile and a wink as if saying _children, you will know what I mean one day._

After the mother had dragged the boy away it didn´t take long before the muggles started pouring down the staircase.

Draco had almost given up hope and thought he had used false information predicting where Dudley would turn up. He knew what he was looking for, a guy his own age quite certainty he would be looking both lost and flustered not really knowing what to do with himself. Draco rolled his eyes what he did to get what he wanted, sometimes his patients and tolerance even surprised himself.

Half a minute after the last person before him though a guy came stumbling down the stairs, he had horrible clothes unstyled hair (although not as bad as Potter´s) and a duffel bag thrown over his right shoulder. Draco knew instantly that this guy most be his guy, he smirked sometimes things was just too easy.

Draco stayed put waiting on the guy to notice him and take in his undeniably gorgeous form before stepping forward to greet the guy and start phase 1 in catching Harry Potter. He was not fast enough though because Dudley beat him to it.

Draco looked on bemused and he got completely of track as Dudley´s eyes widened and his whole being became guarded "if my father hired you as a privet detective to track me down, I swear to merlin you are gonna regret not leaving now because I am not going back there to be send away to cure me from myself or some other utter bullshit."

Draco found himself laughing, it seemed he did not only have a talent to rail Harry Potter up, no it seemed to be the whole potter family. He had managed to make this guy angry without even uttering a word.

He pushed himself away from the wall and made his way up to Dudley and stretched out his hand "Draco Malfoy, and I am definitely not working with your father, wouldn´t touch him with a ten foot pole actually I can assure you."

Dudley´s shoulders slumped and it looked like the tension went out of his body, he hesitated for a second looking around as if shaking another guys hand would draw attention and be seen as inappropriate, Draco frowned at that, how much had this guy really been in the closet?

It seemed though that Dudley had found the coast clear and clutched Draco´s hand in a tight yet soft and warm grip before giving a firm but yet somehow not overpowering handshake.

"Sorry Mr. Malfoy, it´s just that your clothes seem like taken from a movie where you would be shadowing someone or something" the guy was blushing but Draco could for the life of him not say why but he found himself giving a genuine grin for a second or so at that.

At least the guy was not a total loser the "Mr. Malfoy" had certainly been welcome maybe playing nice wouldn´t be as hard as he had thought it would be. He had never seen muggle movies but it seemed the feeling about these clothes maybe not being the best choice turned out to be true unfortunately.

No one let go of the others hand seeming to be in their own minds for some time, Dudley was the first one to realize this and quickly took a step back and Draco found himself having to fight down a blush himself, what was it with this muggle trying to turn him into a Hufflepuff?

Draco straightened his back and went into his Malfoy host persona, very polite but not overly personal or invasive making it easier to not slip and show too much emotion. "How rude of me, please follow me so that I can take us to my home."

Dudley just nodded and together they strode out of the train station as a very odd couple of companions, but yet Draco did not have the uncomfortable feelings he thought he would, and the silence was welcome and the presence of Dudley beside him almost comforting.


	9. Chapter 9: Admirable Attempts part 1

**Chapter 9: Admirable Attempts part 1**

They arrived at Malfoy Manor, or at least that had been the intention. In reality it was only Draco that turned up just outside the front doors to the manor.

Something had gone seriously wrong, one moment he had felt the presence of Dudley beside him as he apparated them and in the next he was alone with no trace of the other man anywhere.

This was not just unfortunate, no this was a disaster. He had a plan to make Dudley feel at home and to be the best host he could under these restricted circumstances but how would he be able to do this now when for all he knew he could have killed the bloke.

Draco had started pacing and cursing under his breath "damn it" he said and took a deep breath.

He was not one of those people, he was not impulsive or someone that just acted without thinking rational, no he was a Slytherin. Everything always had a logical explanation, this would not be an exception to that rule.

There had to be something that had prevented the apparition, and Dudley must have been left somewhere between London and the manor. The only other explanation was that he would have made a mistake, he snorted as if he would have apparated less then perfectly, and Dudley would have been splinched. Draco shuddered at the thought, he had heard a few very disturbing stories of unsuccessful apparition attempts.

Thinking rationally he once again apparated to start the search of the missing muggle boy.

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He had never felt something like it ever before, the feeling of your surroundings swishing past while you swirl through the air as if the gravity force don´t apply and time stands still. The touch of the blond man was steady but not harsh as he had clutched his hand before the world around him started spinning.

He was fascinating by the feeling but soon started feeling dizzy and before he knew it, it felt like the other man slipped through an invisible wall while he crashed right into it and the hand holding his lipped thought his fingers. The world stopped spinning and the gravity force took hold of his body once again.

Dudley hit the ground hard. Gasping he felt pain rushing up from his ankle and he closed his eyes, this could not be happening.

He knew he had not had a choice but to trust the wizard when he was the only one even willing to extend an offer of help, but he had been prepared to be betrayed, in the end he was just a poor excuse of a fairy anyway, so the world would not miss much with him gone, his parents wouldn´t much care that was for sure.

He took a deep breath, no he was worth more than this, and what his parent thought did not matter anymore. He had his life ahead of him and he would live it the only way he knew how to make himself happy, by being true to himself even if it meant people would treat him like rubbish.

He opened his eyes and looked around not recognizing anything around him, where was he and how had he gotten there?

There was a big metal gate right ahead and woods around him, one thing was for sure he was clearly not in London anymore. The wizard had brought him somewhere and disappeared without a trace.

"Hallo" he shouted out, the only response an empty echo. It had been worth a try at least. He gingerly tried to stand but hissed when he tried to put weight on his right foot and slumped right back to the ground again, propping himself up against a tree trunk for support.

The worst part was not the feeling of hopelessness that he felt, the worst part was the feeling of being all alone. He truly had no one, the wizard had tricked him and he was now left to die in his loneliness with only his dark thoughts for company.

He must have fallen asleep, even if Dudley did not know how that had been possible as his current situation only seemed darker for every second that passed. The sun had started to descend on the horizon and his stomach made a growl, he just now realized that he had neither food nor water to his disposal.

He felt like crying.

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Draco had searched all possible places he could think of from the alley he had apparated from to the manor. Exhausted he apparated back to the gates of the manor for a last attempt before he would have to change tactics.

Seeing the gates he sighed, this was not how today had been supposed to turn out, Malfoy´s did not fail on their way on getting what they wanted, and it just happened to be so that the muggle was needed in his quest to retrieve the heart of the most desired in the wizarding world.

It was dark so he was not seeing much but there was definitely not a person to be seen. He needed the walk though so he flicked his wand and the gates started to open with a rustling sound.

Just as he was about to walk through he heard a groan and turning around he saw something he had earlier missed, there was a figure hunched under a tree. "Lumos" the light instantly shined up the clearing around the gates and Draco draw in a breath, there was the muggle boy, dirty and with tear streaks down his cheeks. He was in one piece though, probably more chocked then hurt.

He looked frightened up at Draco almost as if waiting on Draco to make his move and strike with the killing curse, truth be told Draco had never killed anyone and hoped it would stay that way.

Lowering his wand to show he wasn´t going to hurt him he wondered what he should say to the poor bloke. "Dudley, I have been looking for you everywhere, and here you are just outside my grounds" something lighthearted seemed like the right thing to say.

Several emotions flashed through the crystal like clear blue eyes staring up at him, surprise and gratitude Draco was able to distinguish before his expression settled on something looking like trepidation with an edge of hope.

He looked so vulnerable were he sat looking at Draco as if he was the last way out of a never ending labyrinth. His father had taught Draco to cherish these moments and to always use the power in the authority the position gave you, to use people and their weakness and fear to gain more power and make yourself the leader and the one in charge.

Draco felt powerful looking down at the boy. He didn´t feel powerful because he was in charge or because he could do what he wanted to the boy, no he felt powerful because he had the opportunity to make someone feel better, strangely a feeling of want to protect the guy settled in the pit of Draco´s stomach. He frowned at the feeling, caring for others only left yourself weak and hurt in the end.

Dudley seemed to take the frown as a cue to avert his eyes, he bowed his head almost as if hiding from Draco´s piercing gaze. "I… I thought you had abandoned me" he mumbled so low Draco had a hard time catching the words.

The feeling intensified and Draco shook his head, realizing Dudley was still looking into his lap he voiced his thoughts "no, a Malfoy is true to their word, besides Harry would kill me if he found out I abducted his cousin." Draco thought continuing with the humor couldn´t hurt.

"I, actually I don´t know what happened, that have never happened to me apparating someone before" at this Dudley looked up in wonder.

Draco felt strange being so honest, in most situations he would have made up some logical story to why it had happened, this to seem to have everything under control and to not show any weakness. But with Dudley he felt like he needed to be honest and let the boy have reasons to trust him.

"Apparating?" Draco cursed mentally, how could he even for a second forget that the boy in front of him only was a simple muggle nobody that no one wanted.

He sighed, time to get the boy settled inside the manor and to start the next phase in his plan. "Never mind, how about making our way to the manor?" after asking he took the remaining steps to the tree and extended his hand for Dudley to take.

Dudley eyed the hand not sure if he should take it but once again found that he didn´t have another alternative. He wanted to believe the man above him but had a hard time seeing through him and to figure out which words was heartfelt and which was just for show.

He took the hand and just as Draco was about to let go of his hand he felt the stab of pain coming back up his leg from his ankle. He hissed and Draco looked at him worriedly "I hurt my ankle arriving here earlier" he gritted out through clenched teeth.

Dudley was surprised when Draco gently lowered him down to the ground again, it was almost as if he cared, no one had ever cared for the real him before not really, not that he had ever given anyone the chance to, but the feeling of him being deserving of someone caring was leaving him with a warm feeling. Draco caring for his sorry arse was probably just wistful thinking though.

He was brought back from his musings by Draco being in his personal space. "Hold this, this will just take a moment." A second later he was holding a lantern, wait where had that come from?

He recognized the stick the wizard was pointing at his injured ankle as a wand and automatically flinched. He knew magic could be used for both good and evil but having one of those pointed at him made him feel very uneasy.

Draco seemed to have noticed his flinch because he looked at him and slightly lowered the wand "I am pretty good at healing spells don´t worry, and trust me it is much more pleasant than taking a potion" this did not really comfort Dudley though, he was still not sure if the wizard was reliable and would not use his magic to hurt him further.

Draco frowned at him again "healing magic works best if you believe in the power of healing, so try and relax and to not flex your muscles" he felt a hand on his shoulder and relaxed visibly under the touch from the other boy.

A swish of the wand and a muttered "Talaria Retexo" Had Dudley blinking as almost blinding light had surrounded his ankle and with a small crack the pain had disappeared as if he had never been injured in the first place.

Draco was smiling at his astonishment, it was the first time he saw the other boy give a genuine smile and it light up his entire face making Dudley allow himself a small smile in return, as thanks, the small sign of contentment saying more than any words would.

They made their way to the now open gate Draco entering first without any problems.

It was like walking right in to an invisible wall, where Draco seconds ago had passed Dudley couldn´t follow. He rubbed his nose, that hurt. He felt bad it seemed it wasn´t Draco but his house that didn´t want him there.

Dudley looked at Draco sheepishly as he turned around arching an eyebrow in question "Eh, I can´t go through the gate, it doesn´t allow me entrance." Dudley didn´t get it but it seemed like Draco knew the reason "Of course… Such an Idiot…. Muggle wards" was all Dudley could hear of the muttering Draco did as he paced on the other side of the gate.

This would be a long night Dudley thought.

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Several hours later Draco was sitting in his study with a glass of firewhisky.

It had taken a long time to just get Dudley on the grounds. The wards had been tricky, as if muggles could come through simple wards, he snorted wondering how paranoid his ancestors must have been.

And to think that he had forgotten their existence all along, he was such an idiot, he had surely been isolated too long inside the manor with too little human contact. How could he have forgotten something so vital? Done was done though and Dudley was finally in the guest room he had prepared earlier for him.

Sometimes he thought pure bloods was afraid of muggles, okay maybe he was one of those pure bloods, or not the muggles per say just there world and everything he was not familiar with.

But to go to these lengths? On the grounds to the manor there had been a dozen traps it seemed designed for unwelcome muggles, as if anyone would ever come through those wards without magic.

The point was Draco had had to save Dudley from certain death several times and the poor bloke was surely scarred for life.

Draco had thought his plans were foolproof but it seemed his journey to getting Harry had to take a small detour and that he would have to change tactics.

It wouldn´t be enough anymore to be overly nice to the muggle boy, it wouldn´t be enough to just show hospitality and give him somewhere to stay. No he really had to give something genuine, a bit of the real him to gain the trust and friendship even if it would only be temporarily. He had to do what he had to do to get where he wanted to be.

He had tried, really tried to do it the Malfoy way without real emotion and only a pleasant façade to those that aided his way to his real goal. It had been an admirable attempt but he decided that maybe the human way, the one where you made someone believe and trust you because you deserved it was the one to take to get him the one he desired.

He sat down the glas and closed his eyes, this was new territory for him, he was not comfortable playing with real emotions and situations that wasn't planned, He was not used to earn things through noble means.

He left the room and made his way up the stairs to go to bed, tomorrow was another day.


	10. Chapter 10: Admirable Attempts part 2

**Chapter 10: Admirable Attempts part 2**

After surviving the trip from London to Malfoy manor Dudley had lived in a kind of daze for about 2 weeks now.

He knew he would not be able to impress Draco, he was all aristocratic and had a grace about himself Dudley couldn´t even dream to possess. So instead Dudley had set his mind on being a good guest, not being too much trouble.

It seemed Draco had sensed Dudley´s need for some peace and quiet and some time to himself because he had been there when Dudley needed him but had not made him feel uncomfortable or inquired an actual serious conversation above normal pleasantries and information of the house and what to expect of the wizarding aspects in it.

It had been hard though, Dudley had come in contact with so many magical things he had never even heard about before and all through the first week at the manor the things around him had scared him more then he wanted to admit.

For example the talking portraits was freaking him out to no end, and that they were able to follow him around the house from frame to frame didn´t make it any better. If that hadn´t been enough they taunted him constantly and called him things as impure and mud blood, he hadn't seen a smile on any of the occupants faces since he had arrived at the manor.

At first he had thought they had been against his sexuality as his own family but he had soon realized it was his non magical status that they sneered about. He had even heard them arguing with Draco one evening. Draco had threatened to take the portraits down and dispose them at the family vaults, which had at least made the portraits shut up when Draco was able to hear their evil comments.

Being the subject of verbal abuse from the Malfoy ancestors, and this only for not being of magical heritance made Dudley feel guilty. He almost felt that he deserved the treatment from the portraits, it was as if he now was on the other side, because really how was this any different than what he and his family had done to Harry just for having magic?

He was now on his way down to breakfast, really these stairs and corridors went on forever, it took about 10 minutes just to go from his bedroom to the dining room, to have an estate like this for 1 person was ridiculous to him.

Waking this morning though he had a new sense of calmness and he felt grounded. He was ready to explore his surroundings and take the next step to find himself.

When he walked past the door to Draco´s room he could hear the shower running, so Dudley knew he would have time to prepare breakfast.

Dudley had actually always enjoyed cooking, he had almost forgotten through the years though. First his parents had made Harry cook as a punishment, and when Harry didn´t cook Petunia had done so saying it was the task of a housewife and not something a boy like him would have to worry about. So of course he had not argued and instead gone to his room to play videogames or gone out with his father to a football match instead, things he didn´t much care for doing.

He had noticed that since he had arrived, no one had come and visited Draco and as far as he knew Draco had never gone out either. This made no sense to Dudley as Draco seemed like a smart and rather kind person, he had taken Dudley in hadn´t he? _He´s also handsomely gracious_ his mind helpfully supplied without his approval making him blush thinking of where Draco was at the moment.

His true intentions was hard to establish though, It was hard knowing for sure if he would have taking in a stranger out of his good heart as Draco had this icy aloof exterior that didn´t give others much reason to think him as anything other than coldhearted.

Dudley had started to think that maybe Draco was lonely and therefor he was going to try to at least offer his company today. As it where he needed new friends as well, friends that were friends with the real him and would support who he really was.

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Newly showered and freshly dressed for the day Draco was met with a delicious fragrancy, the aroma he felt come against him made him feel warm inside and his stomach to make itself known. It also made him nostalgic, for a few years in his childhood he had lived in France and fresh pastries had been a frequent occurrence.

When he reached the kitchens he saw Dudley moving around between bowls and pans, he had an apron on that Draco had no idea where he could have found. If it wasn´t for the fact that the boy in front of him was a muggle he would have bet on that he had to have transformed or conjured it.

The guy he had been around for the last few weeks had been shy and a bit cautious around him. It had almost seemed as if he had been lost and that he didn´t know himself enough to know how to find himself again. The guy in front of him now was the opposite, he looked happy and at home in Draco´s kitchen with the green and grey apron and some flour on his left cheek.

Draco was fascinated by the site, he did not even remember the last time he had seen anyone cook by hand in the kitchen, let alone with a smile and a flourish in there step. He leaned against the doorframe and watched him work in silence, after a while he even started to hum on some tune Draco had never heard before.

And to think that someone was actually cooking _for_ him without wanting or asking for something in return was also very fascinating and refreshing. As a true Slytherin to get something nice without an ulterior motive was very rare.

When he saw the plate with freshly baked waffles he decided it was time to make his presence known. If the guy wanted to make them breakfast there was no reason he wouldn´t enjoy it, and as long as he did it voluntarily well he didn´t even use him in a morally incorrect way.

And anyway the guy should do something nice for him after everything Draco had done for him, discarding that he had chosen to do so for his own reasons and for his own personal gain in the end. It seemed more and more like the decision had been a good one, even if his plan failed he would have a more interesting time with the muggle in the manor then without him.

He took a step forward and cleared his throat. The humming stopped in an instance and Dudley turned towards him in a blink of an eye, he looked surprised and a little humiliated, his cheeks turning red. Draco smirked he loved always having the upper hand on people.

After cocking his head a little letting Dudley feel embarrassed, Draco had to admit to himself the boy was rather cute all flustered and bashful. "Good morning" Draco bit his lower lip when he saw Dudley search for something to say, the boy was like an open book, Draco was sure he would have been in Hufflepuff had he gone to Hogwarts.

Before Dudley had time to answer Draco nodded at the pile of waffles "are these for me, how lovely." Dudley nodded, "if they taste as good as they look, you can stay forever." Draco hadn´t meant to be flirting with the guy, but whatever, he hadn´t done so in ages and he had earned some fun so he even winked as an afterthought.

Dudley just stared at him so he took the plate and made his way back to the entrance leading to the dining room. Turning around he felt a strange feeling of wanting to do something, wanting to give something back, _merlin help him_ he thought this was so out of character for him_. _Without really thinking it through he said "join me in the back yard for some flying after breakfast? There is still a lot about magic you have never experienced," he should still be the polite host even if he was the one served "and thank you for breakfast," he gave him a small smile to show his gratitude. Why had he asked him out flying? Oh well, it could be fun and he really did love flying and didn´t know why he hadn´t done so in so long.

Either way it could also be fun to maybe flirt some more with the muggle boy just for fun, he needed to practice anyway for when it was time to win Potter over.

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Dudley had stood there for a minute after saying "sure" and "you´re welcome", he had watched Draco walk out of the kitchen and just stood there blinking at the entrance.

Why had he just said that he would be out there FLYING, he was scared of heights for Christ sake. At least he would not be able to fly on his own because of his muggle status, that was always something.

Maybe he had said yes because Draco had asked to do something together, he would probably have said yes to almost everything or maybe it was because he had thought earlier just that morning that he would try to make more contact and get to know Draco better.

Or maybe it was just the elated feeling to actually be doing something for someone else, that he chose to do, he hadn´t done that in a very long time. He had literally made breakfast that morning because he wanted to and he had enjoyed it very much, he had forgotten how much fun it was to do something because he liked it, doing so made him feel alive.

Maybe flying would have the same effect on Draco? He seemed to lack that sparkle in his eyes, they had the potential to be this astonishing silver but was now only a dull grey.

He had to admit he wanted to be there when Draco came alive.

He had to try to not get ahead of himself though, he was there because he had to and because Draco for some reason had taken him in. He was there to become who he wanted to be, to find himself. He was not however there to get attached or to get inappropriate crushes.

He knew this all too well but on the other side of things this was the first time he really allowed himself to both be who he was meant to be and to allow himself to feel what emotions that came to him naturally. To not actually let those emotions be expressed or explored in any way would be a shame.

But he would really try to keep it at the bud without letting something bloom. An unrequired interest could make what he now had started for himself to crumble around him, he could not risk that and he also surprisingly really liked living at Malfoy manor.

He had been confused though about Draco´s words earlier, it had almost been like he had been flirting but surely he had been mistaken. Some people also was like that to everyone, all the time, so it really would never mean anything. It could also just have been that he had been lucky and Draco just really liked waffles.

After going through all his thoughts he made a cup of tea and ate some scones before cleaning the kitchen. He took a deep breath before heading out to the back yard and Draco, he was standing there holding a broom.

"Ready to reach some new heights?" Dudley wanted to say no, but he found himself nodding tentatively in response. "Good" Draco was giving him a confident smile "I thought I would demonstrate some moves to get you exited." He was excited all right and slightly terrified for his life but perfectly all right all in all. He swallowed "sounds good, can´t wait to see it."

Draco put the broom between his legs and soared into the air, he hovered in front and above Dudley. Smirking down he said "I was a seeker you know, when we fly I will not be doing anything _that_ dangerous. What I´m saying is that I can master quite a few maneuvers and for you not to worry about me, it´s perfectly safe." Draco smiled a smile that Dudley did not think of as safe, it was a dangerous smile for Dudley´s plan at staying completely professional in his head.

What was a seeker? Dudley had no idea, if anything though it seemed Draco had said it to impress him and that notion made Dudley feel something, a warm and pleasant feeling inside.

He hadn´t more then said an "okay" before Draco had shoot up in the sky like if he was catapulted from a cannon like those he had seen in circus tricks when he was younger.

The next few minutes made Dudley have his heart in both his throat and in his pants, at the same time, several times, no matter his efforts of not letting it go there. Draco was gorgeous with his hair flying in the wind, his slim shape doing the most elegant and effortless movements through the air. His determination and happiness shining through his face expressions clear as the sky surrounding him.

Dudley was breathless and he could feel his own heart hammering against his chest, he knew he was doomed. He would gladly stand down there and watch Draco fly around all night long.

He had only felt something of this nature once before, a long time ago. There was only one other person that had ever made him feel this way, one other person he had had a very inappropriate crush on, that he had had to fight back against the best way he knew how.

_Dudley was going to be 13 that summer and he had had a pretty good year. He had perfected sounding uninterested about things he actually liked, he had made his father proud by standing up for douchebags like himself and getting detentions "for doing the right thing" if you asked Vernon that was. He had come a long way in making a bad boy persona that was respected, mostly out of fear or disgust but well as long as he was loved by his parents it didn´t really matter._

_He had gotten summer break just the Thursday before, there was this cosplay event in a town very close to Little Whinging and he so wanted to go the next day. He had in secret worked on a costume for the event and found that he really liked crafting with his hands. It was a costume that maybe even his father wouldn´t disapprove of. _

_He had done a Flynn Rider costume from Tangled. He was a guy that got the girl in the end. He was a cool bloke that was after a crown, valued money and good looks, really how could his father disapprove? Well there where the little detail that it was a Disney convention, and that he had done the costume by himself in the first place. _

_He signed and thought he had everything he could ever want or rather everything he should ever want. In reality it sometimes felt like he had nothing, and it hurt to even try doing things he enjoyed, so why even bother?_

_Earlier that day Petunia had informed him they were going on a business event his father had worked so hard on, they were going to start introducing him to people in the company and help him make connections for the future. He snorted remembering his mother saying "it is never too early to start forming a career path, darling" like he would ever be cut out for being a businessman._

_Just like that his plans had been ruined, he had no excuse they would accept for not being there tomorrow so he would not even bother with voicing any. It wasn´t worth trying to be who he wanted when nothing he did then really mattered in the end._

_He went to his mirror and practiced his sneer and haughty look instead, his cousin was coming home soon and he had to be at his best nonchalant and cruel behavior._

_He didn´t much look forward to once again having to be evil and bigoted not only at school but at his own home as well. He had to be alert and ready to slip his mask on at any time, if he didn´t treat Harry badly his parents would think something was wrong._

_The irony was not lost on Dudley, if he treated him bad his parents would smile and pat him on the shoulder but if he treated him as a human being they would think he must be getting down with something. In reality being cruel all the time was exhausting and he would much rather just be him._

_He was in his own head and was startled when he heard a harsh "boy" echoing from downstairs, Harry must be home then he thought and signed. He went out of his room and down the stairs, time to make a performance._

_Before he had reached the bottom of the stairs though he lost his determination and instead stood as if petrified looking down at the small figure looking as miserable as he had felt just a few minutes ago, the only difference he could show it. Although if he did and spoke up about it he would be punished for sure._

_It was not this however that made Dudley abruptly stop in his tracks, now there was something different with his cousin from when he saw him last, at the end of last summer. _

_He looked more sure of himself and confident in his own skin, it wasn´t that either though, no it was the way he held himself and radiated some sort of glow, making it seem like as if nothing around him was worth looking at except him. He felt dizzy and a little of balance, there was something beautiful about his cousin even as he looked bashful down at his feet and Vernon was screeching something so that his spit flew in all directions. _

_Dudley was broken out of his stupor by Vernon´s pitchy accusations because he had been muttered about by Harry. _

_"__Speak up boy, what did you say to Dudley?" Harry looked at him and if he was not mistaken he gave a changing little smile, he silently groaned even that was making his new intake of air hitch in his throat, "I just asked if he had seen a Basilisk… Sir" the last was part was said mockingly and Dudley held his breath for the explosion that was sure to come. _

_Predictably Vernon was turning read, not because of the "sir" though. "DO NOT, I warn you boy, DO NOT MENTION MAGICAL THINGS IN MY HOUSE" this was said in a very unpleasant way bombarded between clenched teeth._

_Harry just raised an eyebrow and muttered a "sorry" before disappearing from the welcoming feast he had been met with coming home for the summer. _

_As he went past Dudley he had accidentally brushed his arm against his and Dudley had felt something, he was not used to feel anything, what was happening to him._

_Vernon seemed to have been surprised by Harry´s rebellious behavior and therefore let Harry get away from any more confrontations. Dudley was not that lucky though "what´s wrong with you, you are supposed to help me keep him in his place. How exactly have you planned doing that just standing up there staring?" Dudley blushed and as Harry had did muttered a "sorry" and went away, he tried so hard but his father sometimes saw even the fake him as something not good enough, he had to try harder._

_Later that night he could not get the picture of Harry from his mind and he found himself smiling. The boy had made something real in him react, had made him feel something, had made him want to stand up for himself in a way he had almost given up for an unforeseeable future._

_Seeing his cousin being defiant to his father and not caring about the consequences made him feel like everything was possible. Made him want to dream about himself doing the same thing someday. It made him admiring Harry in a way he had never thought possible, it made him almost seem attractive. _

_It hit him with a disgusting wave of sensation, what he had felt earlier had been him being attracted to __**Harry Potter**__, his freaking __**cousin**__, a __**boy**__, a __**magical boy**__. His life could literally not get any worse. Of all the things that could possible happen, a start of a freaking crush on the last person appropriate was not something he was ready to deal with right now. Not something he would ever accept, he was not the freak, Harry was he tried to convince himself._

_He started to feel anger bubble inside him, why did Harry have to make his life more difficult all the time. He deserved a break, why did he have to have that boy standing in the way of him being the perfect son. _

_The anger was a good thing though, it was also a genuine feeling and he would hold on to that, maybe being cruel to Harry would not be that hard after all. Maybe he could even do the things his parents wanted out of real resentment instead of just fake and empty shells of unreal emotions. _

_He balled his hands into fists and fell asleep with a frown between his eyes on his all too troubled face. _

Dudley knew his reactions had been wrong and that Harry hadn´t really done anything wrong but had still ended up on the wrong end of his frustration and confusion at the time. He was long over that small crush he had had on his cousin so long ago, he also regretted how long it had taken him to see it for was it had really been, he could have used it to make his situation better but had instead used it to make life harder for everyone.

He was adamant that this time he was not going to let an inappropriate crush make things harder and destroy the only relationship he had with anyone for the moment. Looking at Draco again he saw him descending with that open and warm expression on his face, he was so much warmer and kinder than what people would ever believe at first glance.

He would do whatever it took but he would manage it, he would ignore the traitorous feelings and the tentative start of something resembling a friendship or at least an agreement would not be affected.

Draco had now reached the grass "ready for a tour of the grounds? So much better from the sky" he sounded so sexy when he was out of breath, and he looked so cute when his cheeks was going pink with a loose strand of liver blond hair hanging down in one of his eyes. He almost wanted to reach forward and touch… Dudley shook his head to reed of those kind of thoughts and nodded with determination, gave a small smile and said with fake confidence "sure lead the way."

Later that evening he signed, the flying hadn´t been that bad actually, he had not even remembered to be afraid because of the height. He didn´t really remember much though except the feel of sitting behind Draco, the feel of the warmth emitting from his back, the strong muscles of his abdomen as he had held on a little stronger than he had really needed to. The delighted laugh Draco had let escape at one moment, the rumbling sensation under his fingers.

He signed this would be harder than he had thought, he would just have to try harder.


	11. Chapter 11: Striking Similarities

**Chapter 11: Striking Similarities**

Later that night Draco was sitting in front of the fireplace in his study, he was in deep thought about the course the afternoon had taken and what possibilities that may lay ahead.

Maybe the muggle could be more than just a means to an end, just maybe he could imagine himself actually enjoying spending time with the guy after his plan had given fruit. Maybe Dudley were an exception to the norm of muggles being dumb, of them being without purpose for him in more ways than in him using them for an end goal.

He had had a great day really after the very tasty breakfast and the time in the air, he had felt more as himself and more filled with life than he had done in a really long time.

Being on a broom had felt like coming home, he had felt so free even being within the restrictions of his probation. He had wanted to show off, he loved having an audience and for some reason he wanted Dudley to see up to him and see him as cool and interesting, not only so that he later could tell how awesome Draco was to Harry. He genuinely _cared_ for what the other guy thought of him, it was almost scary and he had a hard time finding a solution to why that was.

He had made them both dinner after a much needed shower, he had made _someone else_ dinner because… he had felt like it? He shook his head wondering what the world was coming to. It had been a really comfortable evening though and he would not change it if he could.

Also what had started out to just be teasing and a little fun light flirting because he could and it was amusing seeing the other boy´s reactions, had somehow started to feel more serious. It almost seemed like their interactions shifted towards friendly banter instead of teasing.

Draco shuddered, it was not cold in there and he was sitting in front of the fireplace for merlin´s sake. But was he actually considering the possibility to see the muggle boy as a possible friend?

This was not what he had planned, he had been lonely and desperate for company that was true but to actually become close to someone that he had started a relationship with because of his own intentions not caring the least about the other part didn´t seem very smart, it seemed kind of reckless and reckless was not something Draco Malfoy was. It was really something more fitting a Gryffindor then any pure Slytherin.

Draco knew that the truth usually always got out somehow, he had planned to not care about if Dudley ever found out, he had even planned on using blackmail on the guy if he found out and planned on telling Harry. He imagined telling Harry himself after they had come close enough so that he would understand that he had done it for his own reasons but that Dudley had really gained on his actions anyhow even if that had not really been one of his concerns at the time.

Now though he wasn´t so sure anymore, sure he still wanted Harry and all but what would happen between him and Dudley when his intentions was brought to light was not insignificant anymore. He even had to admit that he was going to miss the guy if he wasn´t there when he woke up one morning. He even had to accept that he wanted to get to know the guy better, he had started to see the boy as more than a muggle, as more than only Harry Potter´s cousin.

Consequences be damned he was going to do what he wanted, he was going to make the time up to the undeniable confrontation count. But really if he told the truth when the time came he may even be forgiven. Really he had already established that the guy was a Hufflepuff at heart, they were known for giving second chances, he was also related to Harry Potter and to him forgiving someone was second nature.

So he may have to earn the forgiveness. He signed, had to be so exhausting to be so noble all the time. But really how hard could it be, just being genuinely sorry and show that he really meant what he said. He was also really good with words and with making people believe in him.

He could not go about befriending the guy without a solid plan though. No the approach had to be clever and result in him gathering information and getting enough facts to be able to make a smart decision.

He had to know if the guy was worth the bother, he had to know if the potential friendship was something that the guy wanted and not something he would just do to be on Draco´s good side.

He needed to know if the guy had the qualities that he desired in a friend. He needed to follow his intelligence and use his cunning abilities and not rely on fleeting feelings and just jump head first into the situation.

How to do this then? Maybe it was time for a little drinking, maybe with a little spiking of the beverage. He smirked to himself, yes that was an excellent idea. Not too much just a little push to get him taking.

He was so going to get his answers in the coming hours.

He got out of the arm chair and headed out of the room with a powerful stride, he headed for his potions supply then he was going to make a detour for the firewhisky before he was going to give Dudley a little visit.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Dudley was laying on his bed in the gracious guest room he had been provided when he had arrived at the manor. He looked around and was struck with the feeling that the room had started to feel like his own, it had started to feel a bit like home. He now felt more at home at the manor then he had ever felt in his room at number 4 Privet Drive.

He smiled, here he was free to be who he wanted, to find out what he wanted. He had no obligations or need for masks, he felt more alive than ever. After the day he had had he had thousands of reason to feel elated, coming out had turned out to be one of the best decisions he had ever made even if it had also been one of the hardest.

Sending that letter that had been meant for Harry had been an impulse and now he could not imagine how hard live would be if he had not done it. He was so lucky to not only have gotten his life back but to also have met someone that he felt with time could understand him. He had never thought he would have that, ever.

Life was full of coincidences, a chain of events that made up a networks of moments, one small occasion going in a different direction could change the end of one's chain dramatically.

Dudley had never thought he would say that he would ever feel like he accepted everything that had happened to him, his mistakes and wrongdoings. But right now he felt good, he felt happy.

If this was what his life would be from now on he was okay with everything, he forgave himself and his parents. He was content in the moment.

He relaxed more into the matrass, laid his hands behind his head and looked up at the canopy of his room that was charmed to look like a starlit sky. His smile spread and he closed his eyes thinking he even looked forward to waking up in the morning.

He hadn´t more then closed his eyes before there was a knock on his door, and he was startled to an upright position. His door creaked open and a blond head peaked in, Dudley´s heart started pounding a bit faster and he couldn´t help but blush at his uncontrolled state.

Draco looked a bit hesitant, probably from waking him up Dudley thought. To ease his conscious he ushered him in "please come in, was there anything you wanted?" he asked and Draco opened the door further and took 2 long strides into the room.

Behind him floated 2 glasses and a flask with an orange liquid. Draco directed them to his bedside table and with another flick of his hand the door closed. Dudley wondered if he would ever get used to being around magic, it still seemed weird and a bit unbelievable.

Draco conjured a plush armchair before he sat down and crossed his legs turning to Dudley "I thought it was time to get to know each other a little better, and for you to try a wizard alcoholic beverage. Firewhisky?" Dudley watched as the 2 glasses was filled with the orange liquid. What he did not however notice was how Draco managed to transfer a drop of a clear potion into the glass he handed to Dudley.

Dudley was not a big drinker, but he was curious and it was impolite to decline when offered, "thank you, and I would really like getting to know you better too." He smiled a little nervous and why did he have to blush all the time, so frustrating.

Draco did a pleased expression, something in between a smile and a smirk. But what really captured Dudley´s attention was his eyes, they had a mischievous glint in them and they seemed more alive than Dudley had ever seen them before, it was almost like he was calculating every movement Dudley was making.

He spaced out a little when Draco lifted his glass and took a small sip, his tongue coming out to catch a drop of the liquid that was making its way down the outside of the glass.

"… so I was a little curious." Wait Draco had been talking to him, he had no idea what he had asked him. He twisted a little uncomfortable and looked down at his own lap, "sorry, miles away" he smiled sheepishly and tentatively looked up at Draco "can you repeat that, please?"

He had not expected the response to be load laughing and the skin around Draco´s eyes to crinkle. "Sure, no need to apologies. I asked if you would mind telling me why you and Harry was not on good terms when growing up." Draco gave an encouraging smile that made Dudley feel more at ease.

He did not feel like talking about his pretty depressing childhood though, he was on the verge on telling Draco that when he thought that maybe he could tell it in a very simple way. To get his courage up even more he took a big gulp of the alcohol in front of him. He coughed a bit before taking a deep breath, the name really was fitting, the liquid had literally burned on the way down his throat.

He heard a chuckle and send a mock glare Draco´s way, the chuckle only intensified "not a big whiskey drinker then" the expression on Draco´s face was now definitely a smirk. "You see Harry was very popular in school so I have a hard time to understand why he would be on odd ends with his family, what is the history there?"

Dudley was still planning on giving an easy explanation but he found himself almost compelled to tell Draco everything and that was also what came out when he opened his mouth.

"He was never a part of our family, not really. My parents, well they didn´t take Harry in because of their kind hearts, they did it out of obligation." Dudley took a big breath, now came the hard truth and Harry was Draco´s friend so how would he react to how they, how he had treated Harry all those years.

Draco nodded at him to encourage him to keep going. "He was made to do house chores, before he went to your school he lived in a cupboard under the stairs. I used to jump down the stairs to make his "room" shake and dust to fall down over him, as a wakeup call." He felt ashamed admitting to this and it would only get worse, he had done so much childish things.

"We used him for whatever we did not want to do, he was starved, sleep deprived and at times he was even physically abused." Dudley had beaten him once, only one punch but it had been enough for him to end up puking in the toilet afterwards and he had after that never done it again.

Draco looked a little surprised, but he was masking it well, if he didn´t were so good at it himself he would probably have missed the emotion fleeting over Draco´s face. It shouldn´t come to a big surprise though, a family that threw out their son for being gay was probably not the most tolerable people.

"I bullied him a lot, he was never my brother" Dudley closed his eyes "he was more like our slave."

When he opened his eyes again Draco was looking curiously at him, he almost missed the single word that he uttered to get him talking again "why?"

"They didn´t really want Harry, later when he started showing magic abilities it was only one more reason that they thought justified treating him badly." He thought for a moment before he added "he was different, it was more than enough in their eyes."

Draco had cooked his head and it seemed like he was thinking his words through carefully. "I notice you use the word "they", also in your letter you wrote how much you regret what you did to Harry, if that is true why did _you_ do it?"

That was a much harder question, he was tired, but once again he felt like he had to answer. "I didn´t know better at first, my parents told me what to do, what was right or wrong. I didn´t want to disappoint them, I wanted them to love me so I was who I thought they wanted me to be and did what they expected me to do."

This time the follow up question came without pause "and later?"

He really didn´t want to answer that but something or maybe it was just Draco that made him keep going although reluctant. "I had my reasons, I had problems on my own and Harry was a reminder of those problems. To take my frustrations out of him made it easier to be the person I thought I had to be at the same time as I was able to suppress my unnatural emotions."

Draco uncrossed his legs and leaned forward with his elbows on his knees, coming a lot closer to Dudley. There was something fleeting again this time just in his eyes, had that been hurt noticeable in the grey orbs for a split of a second? Dudley shook his head, probably just an illusion.

Wetting his lips, which made Dudley a little uncomfortable, Draco inquired "unnatural emotions, you realizing you were gay?" Dudley nodded not feeling like talking about it, especially with Draco. "Being gay is not really so bad you know."

What was he talking about? He knew Draco had to be okay with it, he had taken him in and not treated him any different even if he had known, but still. Dudley _knew _that it was not wrong being gay, he _knew_ that it was not unnatural and that it didn´t made you into a freak.

It did however made him different from a lot of people, after being told what to think and feel for so long it was hard to listen to what he knew instead of what he had been taught. He also knew that being different didn´t necessarily meant something bad, that didn´t make him like it though. He signed, he had a long way until he was ready to accept every aspect of who he was, until he was able to love himself.

It was then that it hit him, that statement, did that mean?

"How do you know what it´s like?"

Draco looked surprised before it seemed like he silently cursed himself "personal experiences."

When Draco didn´t go on Dudley was close to just let it go but he had just shared so much so why shouldn´t Draco do the same? He had said he wanted to get to know him better and that included sharing life experiences.

"You mean you´re gay? You´re parents took it well, you´re lucky."

The room echoed with a laugh, it was a sarcastic laugh though not one out of happiness. The expression of Draco´s face could not be mistaken either it was one of repressed anger. Dudley saw that Draco had filled his glass again, maybe the alcohol was starting to affect him making him showing more emotions.

"Lucky? You are me a funny one, they were okay with it as long as I would marry the pureblooded witch they chose for me and produced the heir that was obligated of me. How I did that was not of their concerns, pureblooded wizards having lovers on the side is not that uncommon you see."

After setting down his glass he was pacing the room before giving another sarcastic laugh. "You know the really fun part, I was going to do just that. Then came a war were we served a mad man and my parents lost everything giving me my freedom. Or well, will give me my freedom after the probation ends that is." Draco turned around and looked at Dudley square on "so if you think a war is lucky, you are absolutely right."

Dudley was speechless, so if Draco and Harry where friends why was he on probation? Harry had won the war for the light side, the ones that was not out to kill him and other muggles if he had understood it right. Draco had been on the other side? He had a lot of questions that he felt like it was not the time to ask at the moment when they were both not under the influence, this topic was also not for people that was getting to know each other.

There was one thing that disturbed him though that he had to ask "you hate muggles?" There was a knot growing in the pit of his stomach, he did not know if it was because of the alcohol or because of worry. Why had Draco helped him?

The man in front of him looked a lot more tired than only minutes before and he slumped down in the chair he had abandoned before.

"I thought I did a long time ago. I was only afraid for what I didn´t know though, and I was taught you, I mean they were a lesser species and that they were worth less than a house elf. Then came V… the mad man and I understood I had never hated anyone or anything before. We are all really just human." Here he took another breath and looked him in that calculated way again "I think my relationship to everything muggle is like your relationship to magical things."

A breath he didn´t know he had been holding left him as Dudley realized they were really more alike than a first glance could ever tell. Being vary of something you didn't know and something people around you despised and was not shy to tell you about, was something Dudley understood to 100 %.

After that they let go of the heavy topics, they had both made mistakes that they regretted, life was so much more than your past.

They stayed up talking and a few hours later, half the bottle of firewhisky was gone and they were both giggling on the covers on Dudley's bed.

Draco smiled and pointed up towards the starlit canopy of the room "that´s me" he said proudly. Dudley snorted "you´re a staaaaar" he giggled "ah it´s not that strange, you shine like one, you´re so bright and bea…" he stopped when his muddled brain caught up to what he was about to say and smiled sheepishly instead.

Draco didn´t seem to mind though and laughed "noo stupid, it´s a constellation, Draco that is" he pointed again at some stars to the right.

"Cool" he exclaimed much more enthusiastically then needed although it was _really _cool. He got an impulse and blurted out "Draco, do you want to do something, with me?" he was not asking him out on a date, he was just asking because he wanted to live a little. Do something with his friend because they were friends now right? He nodded to himself, yea they definitely were.

He smiled when Draco nodded enthusiastically "do what?" he wrinkled his nose as if thinking really hard on something, Dudley giggled at that, he was so cute.

"I know, like um Pizza and the London Eye?" Yes, he had such awesome ideas, he loved pizza and he had been so sad when he was 9 and had been sick when his class had gone to London and had gotten to ride the giant Ferris wheel.

"What´s that?" Draco asked tiredly. Dudley frowned, who didn´t know what pizza was? Poor guy. Maybe it was a strictly muggle thing, Dudley chuckled remembering Draco´s clothes the first time they had met, he really didn´t know much about muggles. "You´ll love it, I promise, please say yes."

Draco looked like he was going to fall asleep right there any minute now, he had taken one of the decoration cushions and was hugging it to his chest, and Dudley once again thought he was so very cute, he almost said so but luckily stopped himself.

"Sure if it will get you to quiet down, I´m sleeping, good night."

Dudley was so excited, maybe Draco didn´t know what he had agreed to but they were so going to London. He suppressed a happy noise as Draco was already asleep beside him.

Within minutes Dudley had also hogged a pillow and was fast asleep dreaming about magical pizzas and Draco actually being a star, _his_ star.


	12. Chapter 12: Canned Consequences

**Chapter 12: Canned Consequences**

Groaning Draco tried to stretch while he was slowly waking up. His head hurt and he bumped into something when he stretched, what exactly had happened the night before.

He cracked one eye open and saw a blurry figure sleeping beside him, _what the fuck_. He shoot up into a sitting position, without making a sound and still very graceful thank you very much.

It seemed like he had slept on the covers in the guest room all night, the only guest room that was occupied for the time being. On the covers of the same bed that was currently also occupied by a muggle boy.

He usually was both controlled and collected, how he had let himself get drunk like that with someone he didn´t even know he could trust was a mystery to him. He swallowed, he had a severe case of a dry throat.

He silently panicked, what had he told the other boy. He only remembered fragments from the night before, from experience he knew the more he tried to remember the more confused he would get. The only thing that would be able to clear his muddled brain was a hangover potion.

Stumbling out of the room with a last look at the sleeping boy still laying on the covers he made his way to the potions cabinet. The boy may not have magic running through his blood but there was something with him that made him able to get to Draco and that made Draco do unexpected things.

He took the potion out of the cabinet and made his way to his study, he always sat in his study when he wanted to think something over.

Corking up the bottle he drowned it and sighed at the felling of the alcohol residue leaving his body.

How could his plan have backfired so dramatically? The plan had been foolproof, he was nothing but a strategist and he had thought it through carefully. This didn´t happen to people like him, it happened to people like Potter, people that acted before thinking, people like Gryffindor's.

His head had started to clear and he could now remember their conversation. The plan had not failed entirely, he did get the boy talking, he smirked at that satisfied. But then he thought back to what he had said, he had shared things he had not told anyone before, he had even done so without any Veritaserum.

He had felt like he should give back a little but why had he told the muggle boy everything, why had he been so totally honest, he was a master at white lies. He had taken his masks down and showed the fragile human being underneath, to a muggle no less.

His ancestors was without a doubt rolling around in their graves right about now.

Draco frowned, not because he had opened up but because it had felt good doing so. He had felt comfortable talking to Dudley and he didn´t regret it, not really even if he logically probably should.

It had only been natural that they drank that much after talking about so serious topics. The banter that followed and the small talk had also been pleasant. It was strange but when he really looked at the night objectively without thinking about what he _should_ have focused on and what he had planned, it had been a really pleasant evening.

He had even learned things about the other boy and had that not been his motive in the first place, then if they had happened to become closer than planned wasn´t that just a good thing?

The thing that made Draco the most confused was that he on some level felt that he could tell Dudley about his mistakes because he would not be judged, Dudley was someone that could easily put himself in his shoes and understand what he had been through. He had always felt misunderstood and judged by others, was it for being a Malfoy or just because no one really tried to get to know him enough to see through his masks.

He thought back to what Dudley had said under the night before, the really surprising thing was that he could put himself in Dudley´s shoes too. He understood why he had done what he had and would maybe have done the same if put in the same situation.

He and Dudley was really not all that different, they had the possibility to connect on a deeper level. Draco´s frown deepened at that, just because he had realized it didn´t made him like the fact.

It was hard to deny though, they had both been bullies to get a status and to appease their fathers. They had both been hard on Harry because of pride and self-preservation. They had both been hiding from reality behind masks, be it from a dark lord, family or yourself. They had both been taught to have prejudges against people that was different from themselves and not even give others a chance. They had both suppressed who they were to appease their families and cultural prejudges. In all these similarities the fact that he was a wizard and that Dudley was a muggle really didn´t matter all that much.

Draco was stunned by this realization, he had much more in common with Dudley then he had with most purebloods. Being a wizard was a part of his identity, it was an ability he couldn´t fathom living without, but in the end it didn´t make him who he was.

Feeling lost he decided to not ponder on the disturbing realizations and instead start the day.

Before going down for breakfast he went back to Dudley´s guestroom and put a bottle of hangover potion with a small note on the nightstand for the still sleeping boy. On the way down to the dining room he frowned again, why was he caring so much, this was so uncharacteristic for him. And all the frowning would leave permanent lines on his forehead, the last thought only made him frown even more.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Almost rolling out of bed woke Dudley up, he was at first not sure of where he was and wondered why his head was pounding like someone was having a concert in there.

He sat up and took in his surroundings and couldn´t help but smile even if that also made his head hurt more. He had had a friendly night drinking with Draco like old mates.

He wondered where Draco where though, if he remembered correctly Draco had fallen asleep before him on the covers the night before. He would worry about that later though first he was going to think back on the previous night.

He had shared some things he had not thought he would with anyone without losing both respect and trust, telling Draco though had felt like it had brought them closer. He had not seem disgusted by how he had treated Harry, if anything he had seemed sympathetic and understanding.

It was light coming in from between the curtains in the big window in the room. He groaned, the light was torture to his alcohol abused body, he was so not used to drinking and being hangover.

Turning and sliding his legs over the side of the bed with the intention of going to the window and drawing the curtains closed, he saw a bottle and a small scrap of paper on his bedside table.

He took up the paper and what he read made him smile and the worry from earlier disappeared, _he cared _and it made a warm feeling grow from the pit of his stomach spreading through his body. He was not going to read too much into the small gesture but it was hard not to.

_Hangover potion_

_It will make you feel much better, trust me_

_DM_

Draco had thought of him and that made him feel so much better even without taking the potion. He was not used to have someone care about him, just because, because he was him and he was worth caring for.

He was not sure about taking a potion, a magical liquid made of god knows what. The hangover was not pleasant though and Draco sad to trust him, he found himself feeling safe and doing just that.

He took up the bottle and carefully sniffed at the liquid before lifting it to his lips and swallowing the whole amount. It tasted awful and he had time to regret his decision before he blinked and looked at the bottle. It had only taken a few seconds from when he swallowed until the terrible weight laying over his head disappeared, his headache and nausea was like they had never been there. It was incredible, like magic.

He laughed, it was magic of course, he was surprised that he didn´t feel weird or worried at that aspect. He looked at his arm watch, half past ten, it was not strange that Draco was not there, he felt gratitude though that he had not woken him up.

He frowned remembering his dream, flying pizzas. Then he remembered and smirked, an expression he had taken after Draco he mused.

Looking out the window again he smiled, the sun was shining, it was a perfect day for some sightseeing in London. He would made Draco see that it was not so bad, just as he had realized that there was things about magic he could appreciate, things he had not even been able to imagine, things he had never even given a chance.

He was a man on a mission. He got out of bed and changed clothes before heading out to go and find Draco.

He found him in the dining room with a cup of tea reading the _Daily Prophet_. Draco lifted his head when Dudley entered and with a slight twitch of the corners of his mouth said "morning, or maybe I should say good day instead" an eyebrow rose and he looked amused.

Dudley wasn´t faced, that smirk was not going to last. It was Dudley´s day today his turn to call the shoots and Draco´s turn to see things in a new perspective. "Morning Draco, I´m so excited for today, the weather is perfect, I have so much to show you."

Seeing Draco´s confused expression made him smile, he was positive Draco had forgotten his agreement to go into the muggle world.

"Excuse me, I don´t think I know what you may be refereeing to?" this was going to be fun. Dudley took his time and took his seat at the table, buttered a bit of toast before looking at Draco. "You don´t remember? I suggested a friendly night out last night and you agreed just before going to bed. I think it will do you good, you have not been out for so long."

Draco frowned and looked at Dudley for a few seconds before it seemed like he remembered and his complexion lost some color, not that there was much to begin with. Dudley almost wanted to chuckle it seemed like Draco had seen a ghost, on second thought though a ghost would probably not face him as they were quite common in the wizarding world.

"London?" Draco asked subdued. Dudley nodded and tilted his head wondering what Draco was really afraid about.

"Yea, have you ever been?" Dudley hadn´t and he had so much he wanted to see. He would have to convince Draco to go there more times than just today.

Draco scrunched up his nose in disgust as if remembering an extremely unpleasant memory, Dudley just barely was able to hold in his laughter. "I have only been into the muggle world one other time, I was 8 and it was _terrible_" here he shuddered and put up his nose in the air "I got pooped on and it started to rain, I got soaking wet, my parents refused to use magic to relive me from the unpleasant circumstances."

This time Dudley could not help but laugh, the glare Draco sent his way only made him laugh harder. It would have been so amusing seeing the small boy after that had happened, Dudley could see it in front of him and his chuckles turned in to a soft smile. A dropping pouting Draco as a child most have been so cute.

Draco turned his head like if saying, I´m not going to talk to you, Dudley just shook his head. "Oh come on, that is not so bad you know, it has happened to us all, it´s called life."

Draco snorted "for you maybe, I am used to have some standards." Dudley smiled, the guy was unbelieving, but it was something that made him just seem adorable in his eyes none the less.

"Well it´s not raining today so no worries. First thing on the agenda is to get you dressed properly" the expression on Draco´s face was once again priceless, he looked so affronted to be accused of needing help to dress himself.

"I have impeccable taste" he said as if to challenge Dudley to argue. "In wizard circles no doubt, in muggle clothing however you need all the help you can get." Draco still looked buffed but did not seem to object.

After breakfast they went to Draco´s bedroom to see what magic he could do to get Draco presentable to go out in muggle London. This was going to be a long but surely a very fun and amusing day.


	13. 13: Polluted Pureblood Perspectives

**Chapter 13: Polluted Pureblood Perspectives**

This day was a nightmare. He and Dudley was on the path leading to the gates of the manor. Draco had argued and in the end won and had convinced Dudley that apparating was a much better way to travel then using any muggle transportation. Dudley was still wary about apparating from his first experience, which Draco could understand and had therefor agreed to apparate from outside the grounds, even though he had taken down all the anti muggle protections that had been on the manor.

So now they were on their way, Dudley looking too cheerful for his own good and Draco going 3 steps behind sulking. Really he was never getting drunk again, seriously how had he ended up agreeing to this.

A Malfoy never backed down when making a promise or taking on a challenge though. So here he was on his way, if he survived a whole afternoon with muggles with his life and insanity intact it would be a miracle.

"So do you like your outfit, I think you look handsome and a little artistic" Dudley was smiling at him and that only made Draco grumble. In reality though he kind of liked the clothes Dudley had chosen for him, grey slacks, a light blue cashmere sweater, a black scarf and beret, it felt a little French inspired and that made him feel more comfortable.

He had to admit although reluctantly that muggle clothes may have some practical advantages to wizard clothes as well. Really robes could be very unpractical at times.

_Muggles do not have any style, they are all slobs, _Bellatrix had once told Draco and he couldn´t help but question it now, it seemed muggles like wizards had a big spectrum of styles and a range of clothes in different quality if Dudley were to be believed. Draco couldn´t understand why Dudley used those hideous clothes though, looking a lot like the style of clothes Harry had had around Hogwarts when not in his school robes.

His curiosity took over and he forget that he was supposed to be sulking for a moment. "Why do you go around in that, really it seems your fashion sense is not that terrible but those _things _you put on every morning is."

Dudley was looking back at him, the smile didn´t falter. "My mum have always chosen my clothes, I haven´t really cared or even thought about what style I would like" here he looked thoughtful and a little sad but that expression was soon replaced by an excited expression "maybe you would like to go shopping?"

Of course he would want to go shopping, he hadn´t done so since a year or so before the war had ended, he was in desperate need of new clothes. Getting the clothes from the muggle world though, he was very skeptical to say the least.

Before he knew it they had started a conversation about different clothing styles and the difference between wizard clothing and muggle clothing where Dudley had stated that wizards were just so _old fashion_. Draco had protested of course but had not been able to provide very good arguments as he had very little experience with muggle clothes and there was the detail of that the clothes the Malfoys used was much the same now as what they had used centuries ago.

He was so lost in the conversation that before he knew it they had reached the gates and there was no turning back. He sighed "ready?" Dudley nodded to him enthusiastically, making Draco feel a little irritated. He grabbed Dudley´s elbow and apparated them to the same alley he had apparated when he had first picked Dudley up all those weeks ago.

Landing on the pavement in the abandoned alley he was hit by the wave of the sounds from the moving masses of muggles just 50 meters from where they had landed. He swallowed and looked at Dudley pleadingly making the other boy laugh, "oh no, you are not getting out of this, I´m positive you will be pleasantly surprised."

Draco just snorted and made an uninterested gesture with his hands as if saying _whatever, just get this over with already_.

Dudley´s mood seemed to be unable to dampen today and it only made Draco more sour and irritated. Dudley started talking about everything he thought Draco would find enjoyable in the muggle world if he only gave it a chance, Draco just moped and tuned him out. Dudley would see that this was a bad idea sooner or later, right.

"Pizza, it is what we muggles call fast food. It is something that takes a short time to prepare and can be bought by most people in a lot of places. Pizza is from the beginning Italian, it can be made with a variety of toppings and because of that it makes it suitable to a lot of people." It seemed that after their evening last night something had changed and Dudley now thought they were best friends. Draco was on his way to get a headache, could the bloke not just shut up.

On the way to getting their pizzas he saw a lot of different kind of muggles, they seemed almost normal, but some was talking to what it seemed being no one, maybe they were the mentally retarded ones? He found himself being a little curious, "are they daft?" Dudley stopped and looked at him surprised.

"What the Italians? Pizza is not stupid, it´s delicious" Draco rolled his eyes, maybe it was Dudley that was the daft one. "No, those muggles that is talking to thin air, it looks really retarded" not that he had expected anything else of course.

To his surprise Dudley started laughing, Draco became a little worried and took his hand up to his hair to feel so that nothing had pooped at him again. "Good one, no they are talking to other muggles in their phones through those vires going to their ears, it´s called a hands-free." Draco had no idea what a "phone" was and his expression must have been given that away, Dudley smiled and added "it´s kind of like your fire-calls."

Draco looked at him like he had two heads, but not even they had methods to talk to each other over long distances just like that, while doing other tasks. And Dudley was saying _muggles _had methods to talk to each other, without the help of magic, from anywhere at any time. He was remembered of a thing his father had said in distaste, _muggles are less intelligent creatures, they are lightyears behind in all areas of expertise. _Now it seemed that had been proven wrong, if muggles could achieve solutions that even in some ways if not all were more efficient then the wizarding solution and to do so without the aid of magic they had to be quite resourceful.

Draco frowned, had what he had thought his whole life not been true? Maybe he should try to explore his attitude and continue this day with a more open mind. Not wanting to give away these thoughts to Dudley he gave a curt nod and showed his hands in his pockets.

Dudley just shook his head. He stopped a few minutes later and lead Draco in to a small little restaurant, if you could call it a restaurant, it was so below the standards Draco was used to. Even though he had decided to be open minded he found himself being judgmental.

Looking around himself he sneered at the interior decoration that was almost nonexistent, the tables were without tablecloths and the windows were without any curtains. He also remembered his mother´s words while educating him in etiquette, _less expensive means less quality, simple establishments with cheap merchandise is for the general public, you are more important than the public and are therefore above such establishments._

He had not very high expectations of this meal, he was sure to just poke around and go from there hungry. "So what would you like? My personal favorite are Hawaii, but I guess you would like something more complex and more refined?" he looked around, was he joking, a refined meal from this place? He looked over the alternatives and chose the most expensive one, if he was eating cheap food he was eating the least cheap food. Dudley chuckled at his choice and gave him a look that Draco thought almost looked affectionate and amused but said nothing.

They sat down in one of the darker corners, they had a pleasant conversation where Draco almost forgot that he was supposed to _not_ enjoy this. If he was being honest it was actually quite relieving not to be required to be so uptight and think about how he sat, how he talked and how he held himself all the time. To just be was something he had never let himself experience while eating in a restaurant before. Even more disturbing was that he found sitting in the small building in the corner talking to Dudley was sort of cozy, he shuddered at the thought alone.

About a quarter after they had ordered a servant came out with two plates. On the plate was a big mess, it looked about being the most unhealthy thing he had ever seen, but merlin if it didn´t smell delicious.

He heard his stomach make a sound and the answering chuckle from Dudley, "looks good right, damn I haven´t had pizza in so long." Dudley licked his lips looking down at his pizza and Draco found himself looking at Dudley instead and mimicked the movement with his own tongue unconsciously.

He was brought out of his stupor by Dudley looking at him amused "taste it then, oh and if you don´t want to look uptight eat it with your hands, it´s best that way anyway." Draco watched fascinated at Dudley took up a slice of the pizza and smiled at him before taking a big bite before making a sound that should not have been legal.

Draco looked down at his plate and scowled, his family seemed to have known something about the muggles, his grandfather had once said, _muggles lack both elegance and grace, they can be compared to more primal creatures such as cats and dogs. _Eating with his hands, was he a barbarian, his parents would have had nightmares for weeks. He chuckled when a memory of a certain Weasley eating in the great hall came to him, maybe eating like a barbarian was more a personality trait then a muggle one if you really thought about it.

He looked around, there was no utensils. He looked around the establishment cautiously as if scared to be judged by everyone else if he ate with his hands, everyone else was doing so though and there was of course no one there that he knew. He picked up a slice and looked at it angrily for a few seconds, too long it seemed because Dudley said with a voice full of laughter "what have the pizza done to you?" Draco glared at him as if to say, _shut up_.

With a new determination he took a bite, there was like a taste explosion in his mouth. Somehow all the different ingredients made each other taste even better, they married each other perfectly on his tongue. The melted cheese rounding it off and making him want more.

He must have made a sound because Dudley was looking at him with big eyes. He had not meant to moan in appreciation, it was just one of the best things he had ever tasted. Dudley seemed to shake it off before saying with a smirk that would have done any Slytherin proud "told you, it´s heaven on a plate."

He was so smug, but Draco could not say anything because he could not help but agree. He glared though and this time actually uttered a "shut up" before taking another bite of the pizza, this made Dudley laugh and smile a smile that made Draco feel pretty good all things considered.

After they had finished their pizzas they had made their way out of the restaurant and had went around London. They had went to different stores and some big tourists spots. Draco was very surprised to discover all the cultural venues like the art and the music venues, he had thought that the muggles were all the same and didn´t have an artistically or creative bone in their bodies.

They had also gone to a bookstore, muggles was much more intelligent than he had ever imagined, they held information on so many areas were they had developed so much complex technology and had came up with solutions far more advanced than he had even dreamed about. He could have stayed there all day but a very amused Dudley had dragged him out of there after an hour saying they had so much other things to be doing, he had not sounded mad though only exasperated.

Before being dragged out he had managed to buy 10 books both academic and fiction. He had shrunk them and put them away before allowing Dudley to steer them to their next destination with more enthusiasm then he had though he would ever be feeling that day.

They had as well went to the clothing stores as Dudley had promised him and he had found he really liked some of their garments. He was now a proud owner of what Dudley had called skinny jeans, if he was not mistaken he had also heard a "makes your arse look bloody fantastic" come out of Dudley´s mouth when he had first seen him in a pair.

Draco had also gotten to style Dudley and he had to admit that it had been so much fun. The guy cleaned up very nicely.

For some reason Dudley had then tricked him to get a haircut saying that his hair was so out of style. Draco had of course snorted, but was not opposed to get pampered on and really he had not had a haircut in far too long. The hairdresser had been scary though and asked at least 3 times if he really didn´t want some colourful highlights in his hair because they would make him look so much cooler. Really some muggles was delusional, cool, more like ridiculous and so unrefined.

He made his way from the salon with a more modern look, the hair on the sides and back was cut short and the hair on the top of his head was tussled in an elegant but free arrangement. His new hairdo made him feel freer as well, he looked very handsome, once again he had heard Dudley make a comment that he thought he had not been supposed to hear, the guy had groaned and said something like "just shagged" regarding his new look. But really Draco was quite impressed, cutting hair without magic and getting such a stunning result was an achievement.

The sky outside had begun to darken now and the clouds had taken on an orange and pink touch making Draco have a hard time feeling the resentment he had had before about the outing into the muggle world. He found himself proven wrong on so many levels, he found himself relying on muggles in areas of expertise and he found himself trusting them with things he had never thought he would even consider trusting others with, even wizards. He found himself enjoying the day and letting go of a lot of impregnated believes he had been brought up to believe in. It was very disturbing.

His foundation was ripped from under his feet and he found himself being okay with it as long as he was allowed to keep on living and just be free. He started to question why he had stayed in his manor all these months, why he hadn´t been living and opened his eyes before now.

He glanced at Dudley that was walking beside him on the sidewalk alongside the Thames, the water giving away a glittering reflection from all the lights around them. He smiled, Dudley was the reason he had realized what he had been missing. He would forever be grateful to the guy for getting him to open his eyes and see the world for what it really was instead for what he had been taught was right and wrong.

He had an impulse to reach out and take the boy´s hand but shook his head at the strange thought, he refocused and the thought was gone before he had time to even process what it could mean.

When they had walked for a while he saw a commercial stand and his eyes opened wide, he did a double take, his first thought had to be wrong. He stopped and stared at the poster, it was of something he had first thought was a death eater, but it wasn´t really, it did have some resemblance though, in the unmoving picture was someone who had a white mask and black cloak.

Dudley walked for a few more meters before stopping too and turning around looking back at him "found something interesting?"

He must have nodded because a few seconds later Dudley stood beside him "ah, The Phantom of the Opera, I heard it´s very good." It brought Draco out of his stunned silence "what is, is he a wizard?" like a lot of times that day Dudley just laughed as a response.

"Of course not, we have a lot of stories about your creatures though, even wizards and witches, most muggles don´t believe it´s real. We call it fantasy, we also have science fiction which is more superheroes and stories about outer space."

Draco was fascinated even if he tried to dampen the emotion. "What is this Phantom of the Opera about?" Dudley seemed to think about that before shrugging "I´m not really sure, it is a musical with opera of course and a love triangle but other than that I´m not really sure." Draco thought he looked sad, there definitely was a story here "I like musicals, if they aren´t too over the top, but my parents didn´t think musicals was a proper interest for a teenage boy, so I haven´t had much opportunities to explore that interest of mine. I had even forgotten it was an interest of mine" he definitely looked sad and Draco couldn´t deny that he felt for the other boy.

He frowned, musical? "Not to sound uneducated or anything but what exactly is a musical?" he was relieved when he saw that his lack of knowledge gave Dudley amusement and brought back that easy smile the bloke had been sporting all day.

"It´s theatre with music elements, it really is a special way to tell a story and to convey emotions." He seemed to think something through before sending one of _those_ smiles Draco´s way, "we should go sometime?"

He sounded so insecure, it made Draco want to hug him but of course he refrained from doing so. Instead he smiled back and nodded, he really didn´t have any reason not to, it sounded like something very sophisticated and a thoughtful way to express oneself and tell a story. He snorted thinking back on something he had heard on a pureblood ball his family had hosted when he was younger, _muggles are uncultured and unsophisticated beings that is a shame for the human kind, _it seemed they were more cultured then even himself at times and he could not help but be intrigued.

Dudley seemed to let out a breath he had been holding in and sigh in contentment. He looked at Draco and when they started to walk again their elbows were touching, he thought about stepping away but found himself liking the proximity.

"I really like this, I don´t want today to end" to have someone just liking spending time with him because of his personality was something new for Draco, the feeling that filled him was better than he could have imagined, if this was what it felt like to be happy he never wanted to be unhappy ever again.

In this moment it felt right to be honest, he didn´t feel weak for feeling or for letting down his defenses, he felt empowered and true in being vulnerable. "Me neither Dudley, me neither."

He had gone into this day in the muggle world with contempt but had been pleasantly surprised, he wouldn´t want to change anything even if he could. He had enjoyed every minute after he had taken out his head from his arse and opened his eyes. To his surprise however what had made today make him feel so elated was not what they had done or what he had realized, no it was because of who he had done it with and who had helped him see the world in a new light.

He looked at Dudley as they walked down the river towards the big wheel that Dudley had referred to as the London Eye. He saw Dudley in a new light too, he was not just a muggle boy and not just Harry Potter's cousin, he was a good person and a good human being. He made Draco want to be a better person as well.

Before he knew it they were underneath the big wheel of metal. Under the wheel was a crowd of muggles, they made Draco feel a bit uneasy. When he saw muggles go on to moving capsules hanging from the wheel he became slightly worried, they were going around the wheel in one of those? "We are going up in one of those, surely that is not safe?" Dudley looked at him and shook his head smiling a little.

"Thousands of people ride the Ferris wheel daily you have nothing to worry about" he dragged Draco to the line in excitement, really what was so special with going around a big wheel Draco wondered. As if Dudley had read his mind he started talking "the view should be amazing from up there, especially now at night with all the lights. It is also a really nice way to end a date, uh I mean not that this is a date, I was just saying that it´s a romantic setting and that… ugh." Dudley shut up from his rambling and he was biting his lip.

Draco lifted his eyebrows in amusement, it was kind of cute really how he put his foot in his mouth and couldn´t seem to stop talking when excited.

That Dudley seemed to have seen the day as a date should have made him feel uncomfortable but in reality it only made him feel flattered. He smiled and patted him on the shoulder "we are in the front now, why not show me that view you were talking about huh?"

Dudley looked up at him from under his fringe and smiled in relief, he seemed to be on the verge on taking his hand before just nodding and making his way into the capsule, Draco followed him and was relieved when they got the capsule for themselves.

It really was a special atmosphere. It was as amazing as Dudley had said it would be and a really great end of a day he would remember forever.

He looked over the city that he had just began to see for real today, the life hitting him like a shockwave, it was pulsing like a heartbeat of any creature. The lights making it a beautiful ocean of color, the light breeze was ruffling his hair and making him feel alive, like he was living in the moment, he was not just looking at his life from outside, he was living it for one of the first times in a very long time.

When the capsule had just went over the top of the wheel and they had taken it all in Dudley moved a little closer to Draco. "You know there is another thing muggles sometimes do in Ferris wheels?" he blinked and thought Dudley sounded a little nervous.

"Oh, what is that" he turned his head towards Dudley and became frozen in place as if hit by a stunner.

Dudley had kissed him, Dudley was kissing him. In his surprise he started kissing him back as a reflex while his mind went blank expect for one thought.

_Love is for idiots and will only be in the way of what really matters, _his father had once told him, but surely this was not love, but then why was he enjoying it so much?


	14. Chapter 14: Favorite Feeling

**Chapter 14: Favorite Feeling**

Time stood still, or at least it did for Dudley. The world around him kept on going but he was living in a world where everything had frozen over except himself and Draco.

He was abruptly shaken back into reality when the wheel slowed down and they had come down to ground level again. Not only reality came back to him but also the realization of what he had done.

He had for the first time ever acted on his feelings, for the first time ever he had done something of homosexual nature. He had thought it would feel weird doing something he knew would be frowned upon by many but in reality it had made him see, made him really accept that what he felt was right.

He had just had his first kiss, the first kiss that mattered anyhow, he shuddered remembering the first kiss he had ever received, it had been a disaster.

_Why was he obligated to go to this stupid party again? The details that it was his first prom and if he didn´t go he would lose so much respect from his peers and that the respect was something he had worked so hard to gain was not something he even wanted to think about._

_Also if he somehow had succeeded in slithering his way out his father would be deeply disappointed, and they couldn´t have that could they._

_The worst part was not that he had to go, the worst part was who he had to go with. He hadn´t had someone and neither had Tracy so of course they were going together._

_She knew it wasn´t a date, he had made that perfectly clear but having her hanging on his arm all night would be a nightmare. He had just put on the suit and pink tie his mother had laid out on his bed. Tracy had chosen to wear a pink glittery princess like dress that Dudley had wanted to puke over but instead had smiled and said "couldn´t have chosen anything better myself" his mother had been there at the moment so he had had to be on his best behavior. _

_So now when he stood at the mirror tying his tie he sighed, it was not okay for him to wear anything pink if it wasn´t to match a girls dress it seemed. Even though he was not friends with Callum anymore he had seen the guy buy his outfit, it was also pink and black, much more refined and not too much like Tracy´s. Dudley scowled at his reflection if he had not been so stubborn and afraid he could have gone with Callum instead, his clothes matched his as well, but of course that was not an option. _

_His mum was shouting from downstairs "Dudley honey, your beautiful date is here" he could almost hear how his mother was gushing over Tracy, it made him feel disgusted. He had also told his mother she wasn´t his date but of course she had chosen not to listen._

_"__Coming mum" he sighed again in despair, he had to pretend he enjoyed today, he was supposed to love this he told himself. He just hoped they would not be crowned prom king and queen. Tracy had of course made a big deal out of that and had held a campaign for them with statements like "vote for your couple next door", "beautiful and smart, here to win your heart" and worst of them all "for love and tradition"._

_They had actually had a fight about those posters, but in the end he could not say why he hated them so much and could not give any arguments why they were inappropriate, being cheesy was not good enough because Tracy had just countered with "but Dudders girls just looove cheesy". So he had nothing without risking giving his secret away so they had remained decorating the walls of the corridors in the school making him have to see them every day going to class for the last month or so. At least that would be over after tonight._

_He finished making his way down the stairs and saw Tracy standing there beaming at Petunia who were giving her a necklace in form of a drop shaped glass pendant, that was of course pink, Dudley shook his head at that, could it become anymore stereotypical._

_"__Oh there you are, so handsome, do you have the corsage darling?" he handed the flower bracelet over to his mother who gave it to Tracy. "Dudley, it´s sooo beautiful" she said before coming over and hugging him, Dudley rolled his eyes and tensed in response. She had selected the corsage in the first place so why she was gushing over it now was beyond him._

_His mother had gone and gotten a camera and shoed them up the stairs "give me big smiles now, you can do better Dudley" he plastered on a too big smile that he knew would please his mother. He couldn´t understand that they didn´t see that his smiles were empty, he had perfected his fake smiles but he was unable to make the emotion in his eyes to seem genuine, it didn´t seem to matter much though because his parents and Tracy never seemed to have picked up on that._

_Maybe they had but didn´t want to acknowledge it or they just didn´t know him enough to be able to see through his façade. He was brought back from his contemplation by his mother "Dudley step up a step and then embrace Tracy, that would make such a beautiful picture."_

_Dudley reluctantly did as his mother said and stepped up with his big smile still plastered on his face, his arms sneaked around Tracy´s torso and she looked up at him with a small smile, Dudley would rather want to be anywhere else than there at the moment, but he would do what he had to do._

_*DD*_

_"__Prom king and queen is" their principal made a too long paus to make the anticipation grow "Dudley Dursley and Tracy McLaren." Crap, this day could not get much worse._

_They made their way up to the small stage where they got their crowns and Tracy looked as if she was in heaven. Dudley tried to copy her expression, he hoped he was successful and that it looked like genuine excitement._

_"__OMG, this is a dream come true, you have no idea how much this means to me and my Dudley" he stiffened he wasn´t hers dammit "you will not regret voting for us, we are the perfect couple to represent love at this school." Dudley was stunned, what was she doing, they had not discussed what they would say if they won but she knew they were not a couple and even if he wanted to state something with an appearance he would not be okay with this._

_Maybe it was because of the chock of her declaration to the school that he was not on guard and was not fast enough to escape the onslaught of the lips covered with pink lip-gloss that attacked him. Tracy kissed him soundly and looped her arms around his neck, her tongue violently making its way into his month._

_He wanted nothing else then to throw her away and never look at her again. He shuddered in disgust, he felt nausea creep up his stomach, he was sure to puke any moment now. He shuddered, people around him awed thinking it was out of pleasure, if they just knew how wrong they were. He couldn´t stop Tracy though, that would make everyone wonder why and he couldn´t risk his secret to get out, at any costs. _

_In the corner of his eye he saw Callum looking at them with an expression of both pity and disappointment. This made Dudley feel worse, his life could have been so much better but his fate was already laid out in front of him and the only thing he had to do was pretend to be okay with it and do the best of the situation. One thing he didn´t have to do was to have a beard, he could pass as straight without one and he was not going to let Tracy make him hide behind more lies then he had to._

_After the kiss ended he glared at Tracy and she just smirked back at him, he could not do anything other than go out and dance with her, it was tradition after all. He decided there and then though that his patience with her had run out, the consequences be damned, he would not talk to her after this night was over and that was final._

This kiss however was something else, he couldn´t even be angry at himself for kissing Draco, because he had wanted to and in the end that was good enough reason for doing it. And it had been amazing, he wanted to do it again. Their day had been even better than he had been able to fantasies about, in that moment he could really see the 2 of them sharing their life together, or at least that was what he wanted.

He felt his hands becoming clammy and knew that what he would see on Draco´s face could be something that would decide his future, would he see disgust or would he see contentment and happiness. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before lifting his head and looking at the other boy, he didn´t look either disgusted or content he looked confused and dazed for a few moments before his features was skillfully hidden behind a blank mask.

Dudley sighed, he had thought they had come over that hurdle, that they now where comfortable enough to show their true selves to each other. But admittedly he must have surprised Draco, he had surprised himself with how impulsive he had been, and by doing it in such a public area.

"We should get out" Dudley shook his head clearing it before he nodded. Draco had sounded as to being a mile away deep in thought, it seemed like for the moment they would pretend nothing had happened.

He stumbled out of the capsule after Draco before descending the stairs. They walked in silence, Dudley had already kissed him and that he hadn´t been punched or yelled at for his actions was making him feel bold.

He took a deep breath before he reached for Draco´s hand with his own. Draco faltered in the middle of the step he was taking but straightened his back and said nothing. That Draco had not snatched his hand back was all that mattered to Dudley though, they didn´t need to talk about it but the fact that he wasn´t right out rejected by the other boy meant so much.

He had never thought he would reach this day, the day he would feel comfortable enough with someone to be able to show that in an intimate way and for that person to be there matching his steps, showing the world that he could and was worth being happy.

He smiled but it was soon wiped off his face. "You think I didn´t see you, that kiss you shared up there in the London Eye, I wanted to puke" a guy was standing in front of them and he sneered nastily with that expression of disgust that Dudley had feared he would have seen on Draco´s face earlier.

Dudley looked down at the grown, he knew this was a possibility but he was not ready to face it yet, not now when his own insecurities was just starting to fade away at the edges.

He tried to take his hand out of Draco´s and was about to just keep going and look down in shame and ignore the homophobic person. That person made him feel very uneasy, he felt a guilty pain flare up in the pit of his stomach. That guy had been him, he had been someone LGBT people had had a reason to fear to encounter, he had said so much things he had never meant to people like himself. He had no right to reprimand the guy because he was just as guilty to make people feel bad for just being who they were and loving who they loved.

To his surprise however Draco didn´t let him take his hand away, he didn´t let go instead he tightened his grip and squeezed his hand as if trying to reassure him. Dudley was astonished and turned his head towards Draco looking at his face, what he saw made him even more dumbfounded. Draco looked angry but determent, he had that glint in his eyes that said to not mess with him.

Dudley felt hope, he had someone that could do what he was not strong enough to do himself, didn´t have the confidence to face up to yet. Draco was there to fight the battle for them, he was not alone in this and that made him feel so much better and encouraged in standing his ground.

Draco sneered at the man in front of them "I would puke too if I had to see your ugly mug kiss someone, but I can´t imagine that will happen anytime soon, I would never kiss you even for money" the guy was becoming red faced and in another situation Dudley would have found that amusing.

He had never seen Draco like this, he had such a fierce side to him, a side that made you feel beneath him, a side that made you feel like you would freeze from the inside and out if you looked too long into those steel colored eyes.

The guy glared before spitting on the ground "I wouldn´t kiss someone like _you_ even if you were the last person alive" he seemed to have thought this was going to be an easy showdown and Draco´s fast wit was making him taking water over his head.

Draco was smirking at the guy "someone like me, you mean a human being?" Draco cocked his head as in deep thought "maybe a goat or a horse is more your style, that is a shame though because I have a strong belief that it would be illegal" Draco gave a nasty smile and the stranger was just gaping at him. "However I was more thinking in the lines of that you will not kiss a girl anytime soon as I can´t imagine anyone wanting to be near your sorry bigoted excuse of an arse."

Dudley wanted to laugh, Draco was good at this, he noted to himself it was a good idea to never make Draco angry, being on the other end of Draco´s insults must not be a fun experience. The guy seemed so angry that he was going to explode, his hands was made into fists and his knuckles had turned white.

"Your son of a bitch, your way of living should be fucking illegal" the guy took a few steps closer to them before he stopped seeming to think better of it, he was outnumbered after all.

Draco seemed satisfied and with another nasty smile and a glance at the guy that conveyed how insignificant he found him, as if he was not more important than a pile of dog poo. "You say another word and you will find a lawsuit on the grounds of harassment, discrimination of a minority as well as sexual assault."

The guy spluttered seeming hesitant but in the end closing his mouth biting his tongue and sending them a murderous stare.

Draco nodded as if pleased with his obedience and said nonchalantly "now get on your way, you are disturbing me and my boyfriend" Dudley didn´t even have time to react before Draco drew him in and started to kiss him in front of the guy who made a disgusted noise and hurried away as if having a firecracker stuffed up his arse.

Draco had called him his _boyfriend_, he could not believe it. Sure he had probably kissed him as much for the reason to piss that guy off as for the reason that he wanted to, but it didn´t matter what mattered was that Draco wanted him on some level.

This kiss was even better than the first one they had shared, this meant more to Dudley then he could even begin to describe. This feeling was better than anything he had ever felt before, this was his new favorite feeling, could it be love?

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Draco had just woke up, he was lying in bed and contemplating the last few weeks.

The boy lying with his head on his chest was snoring lightly, Draco smiled glancing at the sleeping boy while he drew one of his hands through Dudley´s hair which earned him a sigh for his efforts.

He had not planned what had happened that day in muggle London, he couldn't not react though not when he saw what that comment had done to Dudley. In the front of his eyes the boy had started to go into himself and give up on who he was to bigoted idiots, he had been on the edge of letting that idiot win and Draco just couldn´t stand there and watch that happen.

He sniggered, of course he loved getting under peoples skin as well, even more so when they deserved to be put in their place.

Dudley said something incomprehensible in his sleep and Draco felt him drooling a little on his chest. To his surprise he didn´t feel disgusted at that aspect he just smiled and started to massage Dudley´s scalp.

He chuckled at the thought of what people he had known before the war would say if they saw him now, even better what his family would say to him lying in bed snuggled up to a muggle boy like nothing was the matter in the world. If someone would have told him just a few months ago that he _Draco Malfoy_ would be lying there smiling at a muggle drooling at his chest, his _naked_ chest, he would have laughed sarcastically and hexed the person into next week.

Things had changed, he had changed and he was glad for that prospect. He was on his way to becoming a better version of the old Draco, he had learned so much from the boy cuddling up to him. He had so much to be thankful for, Dudley had done more for him then he would probably ever even understand.

Declaring that they were boyfriends had come out of the blue, he had been surprised himself as he said it but had not taken it back after it had occurred. They had gone from not really friends to something more in a matter of hours but somehow it didn´t felt rushed or weird it just felt right and natural.

He had never been in a relationship before so to getting his feet wet with Dudley was really the perfect arrangement, it would prepare him to when it was time to get Harry to become his someone. His plan was still in motion, the way there had just been slightly rearranged.

He liked Dudley, of course he did otherwise he would not lay in bed with him at the moment. He had fun with the guy, Dudley made something blossom inside him and he felt warmer and brighter from the inside when he was around. He could not have wished for a better first boyfriend.

He was certain however that he had not fallen in love with the muggle boy, it was simply because he had been the first person that had shown interest in him in a long time, that he had been there for him and that they had so much in common that he felt so good around the bloke.

He hoped and believed that even after they had broken up and he had snatched up Harry they would remain friends. He had a future in mind for himself and in that future Dudley had started to take both a prominent and permanent place, he would be deeply saddened if that would not be the case.

He guessed only time could tell though and if his relationship with Dudley would be the price he had to pay for getting what he wanted he would survive. He nodded to himself, he had survived worse.

He had convinced himself over the last few weeks that the romantic and intimate relationship he and Dudley was sharing at the moment was not that serious and that it was just a bit of fun. A bit of fun that made him feel good and happier then he could remember ever feeling before so why should he not keep doing what made him feel so delirious and full of life.

It was time to start thinking on how to get closer to Potter though, however happy and content he was right now he had a future to think about.

He looked at Dudley again and smiled without even thinking about it, he had found himself smiling here and there without reason several times through the last handful of days but had not stopped to think deeper as to why.

He slowly disentangled himself from the arms that was hugging his torso, it was his turn to make them breakfast. Before leaving the room he bent down and kissed Dudley on the forehead, he felt quite lucky at the moment but he had an uneasy feeling that it was about to change before he even knew what had come upon them.


	15. Chapter 15: Beautiful Blindness

**Chapter 15: Beautiful Blindness **

They had lived at the manor peacefully as a couple for about a month now and Dudley had never been better. As strange as it sounded he found himself settling down, it was his first relationship, his first anything really and he was already thinking about how he would be more than okay with living the rest of his life right there by Draco´s side.

He chuckled for himself thinking how crazy it was that they had already become so open and natural around each other, Draco´s icy exterior had melted in front of Dudley´s eyes over the last few weeks and what was underneath was someone that Dudley found himself ready to fall in love with.

They had even started to become quite domestic, people would probably think they had been together for far longer than they actually had. To Dudley it felt like they had known each other forever at the same time as his heart started to pound every time he saw Draco as if it was for the first time all over again.

He hummed to himself as he was walking down the stairs to go out into the gardens, Draco had told him he had a surprise for him. It was in the end of June and the sun was shining over the green landscape surrounding the manor. Dudley loved summer, the light was making him feel so much brighter and less gloomy. Draco had the same effect on him he pondered while opening the big glass doors and was met with bird twitter.

The gardens was one of his favorite places around the manor, the fragrance and the colors making it seem like it was hope in the world, the flowers stood for life and that the good had bested the evil. Draco had told him how deserted the gardens had been under the war, how the whole manor had seemed to be bathed in a veil of death and sorrow. Dudley associated the manor with happy memories and life changing decisions and had therefor a hard time seeing the place he now called home in a bad light.

A butterfly flew past him and landed on the tulip that was just in front of Dudley, he smiled. He was like a butterfly, he had been in a cocoon for all the years leading up to this spring, now he had gained the confidence and the support he needed to show his true colors and spread his wings, learning to fly for the first time. He was learning to live as himself and to be proud for who and what he was, what made him himself.

He stroked his fingers over the petals and the butterfly flew away. If Dudley knew Draco he would find him in the rose garden. Draco loved things with a deeper meaning and he saw roses as beautiful but deceiving just as he was. And Dudley had to agree, if he was a butterfly, Draco was a rose. He was both beautiful and delicate but he could also be dangerous, had hard edges just like the thorns on the stalk of a rose. The thorns of the rose was Draco´s masks and Dudley was one of few if not the only one that had had the pleasure to see behind that, to have the opportunity to get to the beautiful flower underneath and see it blossom.

He smiled before turning on the track and heading into the rose garden where he stopped in his tracks. The butterfly from earlier was not the only one, in the garden there was a butterfly sitting on every rose, Dudley was stunned he could not believe how thoughtful Draco had been.

In the middle of the garden was Draco looking more like an angel than ever before and the smile he sported was even more breathtaking than the ones in his dreams where Draco had been starring the main role for a while now.

"What´s all this?" he felt like he had to do something to break the tension he felt was rising "you´re not proposing are you?" He grinned when Draco scowled in response, now that was more the bloke he knew.

"Don´t be ridiculous, I just thought…" it seemed like Draco was surprised over the lengths he had gone himself, he was not the most emotional and expressive person after all. "We have been together for a while now and I feel like we are ready to take things to the next level" here he smirked confidently but Dudley could easily see through it and knew that Draco was nervous, it was very cute, he found more reasons to fall in love with him by the minute.

"It doesn´t mean anything, I just thought you would want something special, I don´t really care just for your information" Dudley´s smile grew until he was beaming. Draco was much more compassionate and aware of other people's emotions than you would first imagine, he cared more then he wanted anyone to know, more then he himself probably knew.

He erased the distance between them and looped his arms around his neck, "it´s perfect, you are much kinder" he leaned in for a kiss "romantic" he nuzzled Draco´s neck before taking in a deep breath through his nose "cuter" a nip to his pulse point "then you let on, it´s one of the things I like so much about you."

Draco was licking and nibbling on his ear but stopped when his words was registering in his mind, Dudley sniggered, he knew Draco would get riled up by his comments however true they were, it was so much fun to tease him.

He was glaring at Dudley "I am not and will _never_ be either cute or romantic that is for Hufflepuffs" here he sneered to Dudley´s amusement. Draco smirked then before he started to tickle him making Dudley start to laugh, he was able to slither his way out of Draco´s arms however and sprinted around the fountain in the end of the rose garden.

Draco was chasing him and he felt such a thrill, this was what life was supposed to be all about, this was what a relationship was supposed to be about, it was all about love.

Just then he felt himself being lifted into the air and turned upside down. He made a squealy sound and was met with Draco´s triumphant face only a second later. Being a muggle was hard sometimes "tease" he said to Draco and pouted.

Draco just laughed and smiled satisfied "that is what you get for being a cheeky little bugger" he moved his wand and Dudley was grateful to be turned around again, his head had started to feel heavy.

He couldn't help but respond to that with "interesting, I am the bugger am I, do this mean I will be the one doing the buggering?" he really had spent too much time with Draco if he had started to make crude comments. It was so much fun bantering though, to be able to match his wit was such a thrill. He had learned from the best after all.

Draco looked surprised at first before rising his left eyebrow and giving an impressed and satisfied little smile "we will see about that" the expression on his face changed and an almost predatory gleam arose in his eyes "in the meanwhile I like to show you how _not _kind and nice I can be."

Dudley felt himself shiver and beginning to become aroused, this was it, he would lose his virginity today being dominated by Draco and that aspect was making him more excited than he wanted to admit.

They had done some experimenting through the weeks leading up to this, they had seen each other naked and got each other off, it had all just happened and he could not be more grateful for how easy it was to experience all these firsts with Draco. He was ready and it felt right, he had thought he would never even have the opportunity to be a sexual being, not counting having to provide his parents with grandchildren that is, the thought of bedding a girl made him feel ill.

Draco brought him back from his thoughts by tackling him to the ground, his breath being knocked out of him in the process. Draco was laying atop of him smirking, he was murmuring some words and before Dudley knew it they were both naked.

The grass was tickling his backside and it was surprisingly more arousing than annoying. His surroundings was soon forgotten all together though when Draco leaned in and whispered in his ear "you are ready for this, right?" Dudley could not even begin to try to express himself with words so he just nodded.

"I need you to say it" once again he was remembered of the fact that Draco cared, he put Dudley´s feelings and wishes before his own gratification, he was the boyfriend he had not even dared dreaming about. He was compassionate at the same time as he took control giving Dudley just what he wanted and needed.

Draco being Draco though was not the most patient so when Dudley didn´t answer directly he sneaked his hand down and squeezed around Dudley´s manhood and lifted an eyebrow in question.

He gave out an embarrassing little whine in surprise before trashing a bit "yeees." Draco only smirked and lowered himself back down grating their hips together "yes, what?" he licked a long line between Dudley´s ear and along his jawline.

The friction was there but just on the verge to too little, he needed more but didn´t know how to ask. Draco was a master at getting him to be rendered a mess without even needing to try.

"Yes, I´m… Ahhh I´m ready" he squeaked out between groans. Draco just lifted the other eyebrow so that it joined the first before he took the hand around his shaft and moved it to his arse before giving it a squeeze.

This was torture but he loved it and Draco knew it all too well. "Ready for what?" he asked next with a lowered voice that made something in Dudley snap, he needed more dammit.

"You… Ugh I´m ready for… You, for you to stick it up my arse" he had joked about doing the buggering but what he wanted was to be owned but still free, he wanted Draco to dominate him at his terms, he wanted to give himself over to someone completely.

When Draco kept looking at him he bit his lip before giving Draco what he was sure the other bloke wanted. "Please… Fuck me Draco."

The begging did the trick, Draco responded with a little moan of his own and with a snicker that went directly to his already extremely hard prick went downwards to prepare him for what was to come.

The next half an hour or so he was in a total daze, the magical preparation spells had been a blessing. He was so grateful to Draco for how he had made it possible for Dudley to let go completely, for him to give up all control and trust the other boy fully.

He was never again not letting himself have this, the feeling of being completely connected to another human being, to be on the same level and be a part of something bigger then himself.

They were holding a steady pace, Draco was caressing one of his thighs with one hand and nibbling at his neck. Dudley had located his other hand and had interlaced their fingers. A fire was burning in the pit of his stomach and a pleasure he had never felt before was coming from within him where Draco was hitting with every each thrust.

When Draco lifted his head their eyes met, possessive and emotional melted silver meeting astonished and overwhelmed ocean blue, he arched his back and his vison went white, he could not have asked for a better first time.

When he opened his eyes again after his black out Draco was lying beside him with his head resting on one hand, he was looking down at Dudley grinning.

"I was that great was I, leaving you coming undone like that" he had a feeling he was not going to get to live this down. He grinned back anyway not caring. His first time may not have been traditional but it had been them doing what felt right. They had not just shagged, he was now 100 % sure over that he was in love with Draco.

He knew what he had to do, he wanted to do it but was afraid of what kind of response he would get. He was afraid of being rejected, of him having interpreted the situation for something it wasn´t. For his feelings to not being reciprocated and for him to be left with a broken heart.

He had a good feeling about it though, how could he not? The glances he received from Draco, the small gestures of how much Draco cared about him, the interactions they shared where they didn´t need to talk just knowing what the other was feeling at the moment and how to make each other feel better was just a few things that made him feel reassured. He was confident in that they were in this together but was still insecure, his self-doubt would not disappear overnight.

He sighed, love was straight forward and easy but at the same time it was not because it was both complex and complicated.

"A galleon for your thoughts" Draco asked then suddenly, this could be the perfect end of the perfect afternoon, a kind of afternoon Dudley wanted to relive over and over for the rest of his life.

He rolled over to his side so that they were face to face and after looking their eyes together he swallowed "Dray… I, I love you." He closed his eyes and held his breath for a few seconds when nothing happened he cracked one eye open and looked at Draco.

Draco´s face was blank, he just stared at him not close to either saying it back or outright reject him. He had been smiling but it was slowly floating away to Dudley´s despair. The hopeful feeling he had had disappeared and he felt like he had just been stabbed in the heart.

It looked like he had been wrong after all, Draco didn´t love him back and he was just about to break it to him, he was frowning probably thinking of the least harsh way to reject him. He had thought and hoped that they had both been in this relationship for the long run but maybe to Draco he was just someone to get the time to pass by in the wait for someone better.

He could not stomach to hear what Draco had to say because it was obvious from his expression it was nothing he would want to hear. He tried to smile but felt how fake it was, he searched for something to say and settled on "It´s okay right, okay to call you Dray?"

Draco seemed to let out a breath in relief and it looked like he was going to pretend Dudley had not even confessed his love for him. He laughed, it sounding just a little strained "sure, just never call me Drakey" here he shuddered before shaking his head "there was this girl Pansy at Hogwarts that called me that, she was horribly clingy" he chuckled a little before adding "girls, what a nightmare."

Dudley´s smile did became more genuine and he nodded "I had a girl like that too, Tracy, she so desperately wanted to be my girlfriend it was terrifying."

They laid there for a while talking and the easy feeling did come back but there was something in the back of Dudley´s mind telling him nothing was the same. They wanted different things, he may not have been rejected but only because he didn´t let it happen. He had somewhere known it had been inevitable nothing good that ever happened to him lasted.

There was this little hope though that he was holding on to, maybe Draco just wasn´t ready to express his feelings, he just needed to give him a little time. Draco would see what he was seeing, that they did love each other and was destined to guide each other through what life had to offer.

* * *

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

**Because of thanksgiving and because you´re all awesome I wanted to thank you for reading what my crazy mind comes up with. I am very grateful for the 4 people that have reviewed and I´m glad you have enjoyed the story so far. To other people reading this story I hope you are enjoying it too. I´m also thankful for all kinds of love, we are capable to achieve so much just by loving others, never stop and keep spreading love all around you. We are all worth to be loved. **

**Rainbow colored kisses**

**/Erica**


	16. Chapter 16: Told Truth

**Chapter 16: Told Truth**

Harry Potter was launching in his sofa with his feet on the coffee table. He felt very lazy but it was the weekend after all and he had earned to be a bit lazy. He opened today´s the _Daily Prophet_ and started to scum through its content.

He had not more then opened the paper before he sat up straight in his couch his interest was piqued. On the second page was a story speculating about Draco Malfoy and the reason of his absence from the limelight after his probation had ended.

**Ex-death eater too ashamed to face the music?**

_Draco Malfoy son of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Malfoy have been serving 2 years of probation in his home Malfoy manor, the probation containing banning from visiting wizarding areas and isolation from our world in form of no owls, fire calls and newspaper. His probation ended last Friday and that is now over a week ago and he has yet to be sited, is he too ashamed to face the people that lost their families in the war were he was on Voldemort´s side? Is he too afraid to face the people that think his probation was too mild a punishment? That is questions this reporter would want to know the answer to._

_This newspaper is very curious as to why the heir of the Malfoy family would after 2 years of isolation still decide to stay behind closed doors. As the only heir and therefore the one that is expected to keep the Malfoy line alive we at this paper were sure that the ex-death eater would be keen to win the wizarding population over as soon as possible after his probation. As a pureblood wizard that is sure to want to marry a pureblood witch he should be searching for someone that will still want him after he lost everything and has a reputation that has been dragged through the dirt several times and that for a good reason._

_There is several speculations as to why the Malfoy heir has not been seen since the end of his probation. Maybe he has fled the country and now has settled down in France or why not Italy, he can have left directly after the end of his probation and left his old life and mistakes behind him to start a new life abroad._

_Another speculation is that he has made a plan on how to bring up his family´s reputation and as the Slytherin that he is he will wait to when the right opportunity arises before he strikes. So wizarding Britain be aware of the risks of not too honest actions being made to win you over. As of the end of his probation Draco Malfoy has now no other restrictions and is as free as anyone of you so be cautious when you are out around town._

_A possibility that is easily overlooked is the chance of that the probation actually did what it was supposed to do and that the arrogant and spoiled brat known as Draco Malfoy learned his lesson. It can be that the 2 years with no contact with the wizarding world made him see the muggle world as an option and that he now is living in the middle of their kind._

_This reporter together with you is probably very curious and would want to know what has happened to Draco Malfoy, why has he not showed his face? Maybe he died through the years alone in his house, maybe he has been kidnapped? My guess dear readers is as good as anyone else's, so please if anyone see the Malfoy heir do not hesitate to contact us at the Daily Prophet._

_If you want to read more about Draco Malfoy and what he did under the second wizarding war turn to page 7. More stories about the mysterious disappearance of the ex-death eater will be posted as soon as more information comes to light._

Harry stared at the picture that was with the article, the picture showed a very tired and subdued Draco just after his trial before he had been transported to the manor.

He sighed feeling a bit guilty because he had not been visiting the other man after returning his wand all those months ago. He was himself wondering why Draco had not been out after the end of his probation, he would have thought Draco would be relived of being able to leave the manor and to do as he pleased.

He snorted at the article, the speculations was ridiculous and he was remembered why he almost never read the paper, the rumors that was created was passible at best, that most people believed what was written was to him unbelievable.

He laid down the paper on the coffee table and went to his bedroom to drag on some pants and look at himself in the mirror to see if his hair looked acceptable. He knew how he would get answers to what had happened to Draco, he would just go there and see him. He was long overdue anyhow and he should congratulate him on his probation being over, he knew how it was to be all alone and even someone like Draco Malfoy needed a friend.

In his rush to get on his way he was with one foot out the door before he had even remembered to eat breakfast. "Where are you going?" his partner for over a year now was standing in the doorway to their kitchen, he was smiling bemused at him and Harry flushed in response, he had just been about to get up and leave in his excitement for adventure.

"I have to go and see Draco Malfoy, he is missing, I think… kind of" he frowned not knowing if he was actually missing or not "I am curios" he ended with lamely. His partner´s smile turned amused and he was holding forward a sandwich which Harry took gratefully. He leaned forward kissing his other half "you know me all too well, see you later".

He was out the door and had apparated to Malfoy manor only seconds later.

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It was a few days since Dudley had told Draco that he loved him. He had still a hard time to comprehend the sentiment of the declaration. A Malfoy didn´t feel emotions such as unconditional love for other people.

His parents hadn´t loved each other, they hadn´t loved him in the way that parents usually loves their children. Sure they would have done anything to secure his future, would have given him anything he wanted, would do anything to be loyal to their family. What they wouldn´t care for however was if he was happy. If he was happy with the life he was expected to live or if he wanted to live his life that way was not any of their concerns.

He had accepted that fact before the war, he had accepted that he was going to live his life the same way as his parents had lived theirs, he had accepted that he would live his life without the kind of love that everyone else was seeking.

To this day he was unsure if he was even capable to feel love for another human being. His father had taught him how to love yourself, how to put your own needs and desires before everyone else's, he had taught him how to be a cruel leader, how to play others to get what you wanted and how to use others emotions against themselves for your own gain. He had been taught from a very young age how to seek out power and that he was supposed to love the feeling to have control and be the one to put others in their place, he had been taught to be a master at that game.

He had never been taught however how to be compassionate and how to be a good friend. If he didn´t even know how to be a good friend how would he then be able to be someone's lover?

He wanted Harry, but he didn´t want him out of love. He was after the other boy for several reasons, one being that he was physical attracted to him and another being that he would be beneficial for his situation in the wizarding world, to get redemption. He wanted Harry because he could and because he loved the thrill of a challenge. He wanted him because he was used to having what everyone else wanted and because he was used to having the best there was.

That Harry seemed to tolerate Draco without any hatred or disgust, that he had forgiven him like the golden boy he was also made the future of them together seem pretty all right.

He was being with Dudley however because of other reasons entirely, he wanted him too of course, he was attracted to him and he felt they could understand each other on a level he had never experienced with anyone else before. He had to admit he genuinely liked having the other boy around. He liked spending time with him, not because of status or because he would gain something from their interactions, he liked spending time with him because it made him feel right and content. He could not remembering smiling as much as he had done the last couple of weeks.

It had been a bit tense the last few days though, since the incident with the "I love you", Draco was very grateful thought that they hadn´t talked about it more after Dudley had said it. He was hopeful that everything would go back to how it was before it had been said, he just wanted to be, just wanted them to be themselves together.

He stretched and went out of bed, the other side of it was empty, he frowned he usually woke up when Dudley did. He took in air through his nose and smiled, it smelled like pancakes.

He skipped changing out of his pajama pants and went down the stairs shirt less in prospect to get freshly made pancakes.

Dudley must have heard him come down the stairs because he hadn´t even made it all the way down before "what would you like in your pancakes Dray, apples or blueberries?"

He licked his lips, there was something special with handmade food that made house elf made dishes seem grey in comparison.

"What would I do without you D, blueberries sounds wonderful" he heard a chuckle and a answering "coming right up" from the kitchens and was just about to head there when he noticed a figure standing just inside the front doors.

He turned and drew his wand in a reflex. He was met with the surprised face of Harry Potter, he was standing there looking a little flustered with his eyebrows drawn up and his hands up in surrender.

What was he doing there and how had he gotten inside without someone letting him in. He must have been more transparent then he wanted to because Harry looked down sheepishly before saying "you let me in last time and must have forgotten to take away my magical signature" he glanced back up at Draco curiously "what happened to your hair?"

Draco scowled and glared for good measure, he took up one hand in trepidation though, was something wrong with his hair? He drew his hand through his hair and he remembered horrified that he had not styled it before leaving the room, he then looked down and saw his bare feet, _crap_ he didn´t even have socks on. A Malfoy was not supposed to show themselves in any way other than their best and most refined in front of people that wasn´t family.

He composed himself and looked back at Potter, at least his hair _always_ looked better than Potter´s, styled or not. He smirked confidently, much more so than he was feeling "I had a haircut, need new glasses?" that was a good comeback, he needed to have the upper hand.

Harry however only chuckled at that and cocked his head to the side as if he just then came to think of something "I like it. I happened to overhear, you have company Dray?" now it was Harry´s turn to smirk, the expression only looked misplaced thought on the other boy´s face.

Draco bit his lip, how was he going to get out of this, he couldn´t just tell him he was dating Harry's cousin in wait of the right opportunity to win the man over himself. He couldn´t tell him of the simple reason of him being there was because of Draco saying that Harry was too busy to help his own family either.

His decision of what to do was taken from his hands by Dudley who must have wondered what was holding Draco up. He was just about to try to change the subject by asking Harry a question of his own when Dudley kissed him on his cheek "what are you doing out he… Harry?" Draco had frozen in place, this was bad really bad.

Malfoy´s did not show affection of any kind in front of other people, holding hands where bad enough. A kiss on the cheek with him in just his sleep pants was under no circumstances acceptable.

Draco thought about just disappearing from the scene but he could not do that, he had to try to at least do some damage control.

If Dudley was surprised by seeing his cousin Harry looked like he was going to faint, if it had been in any other situation Draco would have laughed. His eyes were big as saucers and he was blinking as if he thought he was seeing things that wasn´t real, Draco thought for a second that he would start to pinch himself.

Harry was looking between Draco and Dudley before going back at staring at Dudley in disbelief "Dudley?" when Dudley nodded harry seemed to shake his head like he was really taking it in, that he wasn´t hallucinating "what are you doing _here_?"

Now it was Dudley´s turn to look confused, Draco was holding his breath what Dudley said next could mean that everything would come out, he really thought he had more time before it would all come crushing down.

"I live here, you know that" the confusion seemed to be going over in anger, an expression and a feeling Draco was not used to seeing coming from Dudley and without thinking he reached out and took the other boys hand in comfort. This only made Harry stare more and start blinking again.

"You said you didn´t have time for me," he said that a little bitterly Draco thought "maybe I should be thanking you though, without your selfish behavior I wouldn´t have met Draco and I wouldn´t be as happy and feel as good about myself as I do now." Draco closed his eyes, he felt proud hearing Dudley say that and knowing he had helped in making Dudley feel that way.

He also felt a very unpleasant feeling welling up from within his stomach and eating him up inside before surrounding his heart and going up his throat making him feel like choking. He had a bad feeling that Dudley would not feel like that anymore in a few minutes, and that was making him wonder if his actions was justified. He had closed his eyes while Dudley had spoken and he now opened them when the realization hit him, the feeling that was eating him up inside was guilt.

Harry looked more confused than before "wait… we haven´t talked for years. Just so you know I would always make time for family" he shook his head again and glanced briefly down at their linked hands before adding "and since when are you gay, and dates wizards. Not to mention Draco dating a muggle?"

Dudley looked like he wanted to scream "you have read my letter, you know everything that happened, if you couldn´t accept me you could have just said so." It looked like some steam had just gone out of him and Dudley now looked sadder than he looked angry. This was making Draco just want to bring that brilliant smile and easy nature back, the Dudley that was full of life instead if the shell he was drawing himself back into.

Harry just stared "letter, what letter? I haven´t read any letter, I promise" at that Dudley looked up and frowned before looking over at Draco.

"Draco you have seen the letter, Harry must have given it to you, right?" Draco took a deep breath, what was he going to say? He couldn´t tell the truth but neither could he tell more lies to get out of this situation.

Swallowing he tried to think of something to make the situation turn around, he ignored Dudley's question in favor for answering one that Harry had asked earlier. "How would you know anything Potter, you haven´t been around for almost 2 years, me and Dudley are more alike than you may think and I have changed, we have helped each other come over old rooted prejudges."

At the mention of that Harry hadn´t visited he saw the other bloke cringe, he knew how to use other people's emotions against them, he smiled one of his polite but dismissing smiles at Potter.

"But… "Harry was looking at him suspiciously. It looked like his attempt at side tracking the other man had been in vain though "Dudley how did you and Draco meet, and what letter?"

Dudley was looking at Draco now too, in that introverted and cautious way that he had first looked at him all those weeks ago "I, I was disowned after coming out to my parents, I sent you a letter… To this address when come to think of it and Draco contacted me saying he was your friend and that you apologized but was too busy to help me." Before the end of that sentence he knew he was so screwed, Harry looked at him murderously and Dudley was frowning and his hand slipped out of Draco´s and fell limply down at his side.

Harry had acted fast and in just a few seconds he had positioned himself between Dudley and Draco. Draco stared him down but knew that he had lost this battle, he drew up all his walls trying to seem indifferent at the wand that was now pointing at his chest.

"What are you after with my cousin?" he didn´t know what to say, he had been after Harry but then after a while he had been after the company and he had starting enjoying spending time around Dudley. At the prospect of losing Dudley now, having him there one moment and just losing him the next was making him unable to hold his masks and he was choking on the words he was trying to form. In the end he said nothing and his silence seemed to confirm the suspicions of his not so noble actions.

Harry looked sadly at him "I believed in you, you know. I believed you were a good person somewhere in there" he poked with his wand at his chest "it seemed I was wrong, you haven´t changed at all."

Draco wanted to scream because he had, he had changed. He was a better person and Dudley made him want to be even better but he was unable to say anything like that.

Dudley was looking at him like he was cut open, like his soul was bleeding. "Draco…" Draco was unable to look him in the eyes and that seemed to be all that Dudley needed as conformation, he didn´t need to say anything Dudley knew that he had been untruthful and that their whole relationship was built on lies.

Harry was looking contemplative again, he was looking between them both before he shook his head and turned to Dudley "come with me, you can stay with me and my partner for a while" Dudley just nodded. Harry stretched out a hand and squeezed Dudley´s shoulder before turning to back to Draco.

"I came because I was worried about you, I came to congratulate you for ending your probation, I had hoped…" he shook his head again "good bye Draco Malfoy" and a second later they were both gone.

Draco stared after them, his life had been good just this morning and now he was alone again and with no prospects of even having a friend, he had no one. He went to the closest wall and started to bang his fist against the hard surface, he needed to hurt physically as much as he was hurting inside.

His probation was over? He hadn´t even thought about that, he had forgotten about it entirely being so happy and content living with Dudley by his side.

He sat by the wall the rest of the day, he let himself to let out his frustration by for once in his life not caring and cried for the first time since back in six year. His knuckles was bleeding and the pain was a relief.

That night Draco felt empty going to bed like a part of him had been taken away, like he had been hit by the Cruciatus curse but the pain he felt was not leaving, with the time passing by the feeling of despair and regret was only intensifying.

What was hurting the most to his surprise was not him being left alone and losing the only relationship that he had had worth keeping. What was hurting the most was the aspect of that he had put the defeated and self-loathing look in Dudley´s eyes, that he had hurt Dudley. For hurting the other boy he almost felt like he deserved feeling miserable and to go to bed with a heavy heart.

That night he didn't fall asleep before the sun rose over the green countryside surrounding him for miles and miles. He fell asleep hugging the pillow Dudley had been using for the last couple of weeks, the fragrance from the pillow remembering Draco of Dudley and making him settle sown and letting himself fall into a light sleep.


	17. Chapter 17: Lasting Love

**Chapter 17: Lasting Love **

Dudley was so angry with himself, how could he have let himself believe he was worth something. That he, the real him was someone that deserved to be loved or even liked by someone like Draco.

How had he been able to let himself go and let himself start to imagine a future with the other guy. He had really thought they had something and that he had found someone that actually liked him and understood him just because he was him and that they shared similar experiences.

How wrong he had been, Draco had not taken him in because he had wanted to out of his good heart or because he was doing Harry a favor. When he thought about it he really didn´t know why he had done it, but he did know that Draco had not even talked to Harry, he had lied from before they had even met. The way he had not even been able to look Dudley in the eye though told him that whatever reason Draco had had to take him in was nothing he wanted to know.

He felt so betrayed, he had really believed that Draco cared, that they had helped each other and that he was worth fighting for. He had thought the smiles Draco gave him, the banter and the evenings full of intimate conversation and getting to know each other in and out had meant something and not only to him.

He had thought that he would be able to see when someone else was not truthful, when someone did something out of duty or because they wanted to gain something instead of doing something because they actually just wanted to. He thought that after all the years of hiding behind masks and pretending to be someone else he would recognize when someone else did the same.

The feeling of being used was the worst, the feeling of not being worth more than something you could just throw away when your needs for it had expired. He felt replaceable, that what he had thought was something special between himself and Draco was for the other boy just something fleeting and not even worth a second thought now when it was over.

He was almost regretting standing up for himself and believing in that he was worth having a life, no one would ever want him. He was pathetic and not worth even a second glance if being with him would not also benefit the other person in some way, like if he had had a lot of money which of course he didn´t. Maybe he should have just pretended to be the person his parents had wanted him to be, maybe the only good thing that he could have brought to the world was making his parents happy and even that he had now failed at.

It was 2 days since Harry had showed up at Draco´s home and his heart had been broken. It was 2 days since his life had once again turned around, this time for the worse. It was 2 days since he had understood he was a fool, a fool that had been tricked and ridiculed by trusting and falling in love with the wrong kind of person.

The truth was that even if Draco had never had the intentions of even wanting to help or get to know him, he had fallen in love with the other boy. And seeing the truth for what it was, seeing Draco´s true self did not change that. He didn´t want to like let alone love someone that didn´t even think of him like more than something you could just throw away.

If Draco had told him maybe he would have been able to understand depending on the reason he had been lying. But they had been together for several weeks before Harry´s visit, meaning that if Draco really had regretted it, if he really had liked Dudley and had wanted to be with him he would have told him.

Harry had left him alone and he had been hiding in the guest room that he had been provided with, his meals had popped up 3 times a day but he had not been eating much just poking around the plate. He had not slept well either, he felt a headache coming on, at the moment he hated his life. But at least it was his to live.

He looked at himself in the mirror seeing how pale, tired and empty he looked. He grimaced at the notion of looking pale, it remembered him of Draco and thinking of the other boy right now was hurting too much. He had found himself thinking of him and smiling a few times before remembering he was nothing to the guy and that they would probably never meet again and maybe that would be for the best.

He was about to go to bed when there was a knock on his door, it was just 8 in the evening but he didn´t feel like doing anything anyway.

He stared at the door but did nothing and it cracked open a few seconds later showing Harry on the other side. When Dudley still didn´t do anything Harry took the liberty of stepping into the room and setting himself down on the bed.

Dudley turned back to the mirror and closed his eyes, he wasn´t ready to talk to Harry yet, maybe he never would be.

Harry was smiling a sad little smile his way "you really liked him didn´t you?" Dudley knew Harry deserved answers, he hadn´t done anything wrong, he hadn´t even known Dudley had been disowned before 2 days ago.

Nodding he turned around and looking at Harry, he laughed at himself before saying "loved him actually" he should have said "love", but he had to try to put it behind him and saying it in past tense was at least a beginning. Harry was looking at him surprised, he must have seen something though because he smiled what Dudley thought was out of pity before he nodded "right."

Dudley sat down beside Harry and they sat there for a while in silence, it seemed none of them knew what to say, they weren´t close and had never really talked before.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he really didn´t but he probably should, people always said you felt better after venting and letting out your emotions. He hadn´t even cried, he was so empty inside that it seemed even his tears had dried up.

It must have showed on his face that he didn´t really want to talk, Harry laughed "I guess not." That was followed by more silence before Harry once again disrupted the quiet "I think you are brave, you know" Dudley looked over at his cousin incredulously, he brave, if Harry had said that to cheer him up he had been successful, it was such a ridiculous thought that it made it seem funny.

Harry smiled "no really, I mean it" he frowned before he continued "you have come out of your shell and did something you knew would end with you losing the only life you knew, if that is not brave I don´t know what is."

Dudley shook his head "I just call it stupid, look where I am, I have nothing and no one" he closed his eyes, he had lost a life he hated for a life worth nothing as someone worth even less. He snorted and looked at Harry "you are the brave one, didn´t you win a war and defeated the wizard that killed your parents."

Harry smiled before saying "Draco would call being brave stupid too "Dudley looked down at his lap at the mention of Draco making Harry hasten to continue "Look at how far you have come, you are starting to know who you are and what you want, you have accepted things about yourself that you were supposed to hate and despise."

He looked a little sad then "I hated it, the war, I was the hero because I had to be the hero not because I wanted to. I hated being the hero knowing that I survived when so many others died, they are the true heroes not me." He looked at Dudley and smiled ruefully "I´m not brave, I pretend to enjoy the fame, I pretend to want the attention because that´s what the wizarding world needs, a popular leading figure. I became an auror even though I would rather have wanted to go to muggle collage, just because it was expected of me."

Dudley took in a breath, maybe Harry really thought he was brave, the notion of Harry actually thinking highly of him in any way was making him feel better. "It´s never too late to be true to yourself" and it was true, when you realized that you could really start to live your life.

Harry just shook his head, he gave Dudley a small smile as if saying _for normal people maybe_ "if it only was that easy, it may never be too late, but now would definitely be too early." Dudley didn´t really see how it could be too early to change your life and go down the path that would make you happy, to explore who you really were and what you really wanted.

Harry seemed to be hesitating because he had started to wring his hands together, in the end though he told Dudley what must have been on his mind for quite some time now. "It´s never too late to find true love either, just because the first person you fall in love with isn´t the one doesn´t mean that you will never find them. It doesn´t mean that you aren´t good enough or that you´re not worth being loved. Draco was not good enough for you anyway."

Dudley was not ready to hear that, what Harry said was in fact very close to what he felt and thought about himself. He already had bad confidence and a hard time to see things worth loving about himself. He had been so naïve to think that someone else would find something that they would think was lovable about him. Especially someone like Draco, the fact that he wasn´t magical stood out to him, just that could make him not good enough in any wizards eyes.

He shut his eyes scrunching them together, he was not going to go there, not going to go through every interaction he and Draco had ever had to try to determine what he could have done differently, he had to remember that Draco had never wanted him, not really, or at least not for the right reasons. It was just so hard though, he had been so certain that Draco had felt at least half of what he was feeling, he had been so sure. To accept that he had been wrong when all he wanted was this to be a nightmare and that he would soon wake up in Draco´s arms was hard and painful.

He felt Harry´s hand squeezing his knee and he opened his eyes, he was going to try to get Harry to understand. Draco was the one he was sure of it, he just wished he could have been the one for Draco as well. "I really thought he cared… I really thought I had found someone that could love me for the person I am inside" he took a deep breath, he had so much he wanted to say but he had no idea how to say them. "I really thought we had something special" he couldn´t help but to let out a laugh that was more empty and sad than even crying could have been at the moment. Dudley looked straight forward, he still couldn´t believe the loving and caring Draco had never been real "he, he was so… and he made me feel so…" he choked on his words, he couldn´t put his emotions into words, he just couldn´t, Draco had made him feel so much and that he may never feel that again was making him feel sick.

Harry´s hand had moved to the small of his back and the movements was soothing, but it wasn´t Draco´s hand doing them, they were not loving movements instead they were reassuring and comforting.

"It´s okay Dudley, you don´t have to tell me" he was hesitating and Dudley turned his head to look at him "I have an idea how you could show me though." Harry was biting his lip and it made Dudley nervous, this idea was probably not something he would like very much.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Harry could still feel some resistance and he signed as he once again drew himself out "you have to relax, I don´t want to invade your mind I want to be invited" he was already starting to second guess this, maybe it had been a bad idea. He wanted to know what Draco had done though, Dudley was a mess and for him to be able to help his cousin he had to know what he was dealing with.

Dudley nodded and took a deep breath, Harry did the same and looked the other boy in the eyes "Legilimens".

He blinked and looked around himself surprised at how organized and harmonious Dudley´s mind was. He was in a park, no a garden of some kind, it took a few moments before he realized that Dudley´s mind was in the shape of the gardens at Malfoy manor.

He had not been practicing a lot of legilimency, he should have listened more to Hermione´s endless lectures he thought. He had no idea where to begin, he was going to be very careful, he didn´t want to see any memories that he was not supposed to see, he was there to see what Dudley´s and Draco´s relationship had been like and nothing else.

How his cousin could have fallen for someone like Draco Malfoy was beyond him, but it seemed that he had never really known much about Dudley in the first place so who was he to make assumptions or draw conclusions.

He stumbled on a few memories he was not supposed to see despite his best efforts, a few of himself, a few of Vernon and Petunia, a few of Dudley being a bully and harassing others. He was not surprised by them of course, but what surprised him was the fleeting feelings of Dudley´s he could feel before he had time to discard those memories, he felt self-loathing and disgust, it seemed Dudley really had never wanted to do the things he had done when they were growing up.

When he turned right on the path in front of him he had to stop, he was met with too much emotions, too much mixed emotions, he had to be closing in on the memories of Draco. When he looked around the gardens he also saw that the flowers had changed, the flowers here was the most vibrant and colorful but on a closer look they had started to wither, the closer he came to the part of the gardens the path he was on was leading to the more the flowers was withered.

Harry frowned wondering what it meant but was distracted when a butterfly flew directly in front of his eyes. He stopped and looked at the garden in front of him, the rose garden, all the flowers were almost dead expect from a part of the gardens with red roses. Harry took in a deep breath, the roses was the most beautiful he had ever seen, the color, the fragrance, it was enchanting. They were drawing him in and making him want to go and see everyone he loved and tell them how much he loved them.

He stopped a few feet away from the vibrant flowers, what he felt and saw had to be the love that Dudley felt for Draco, he still loved the other boy, it was so obvious. To get closer and to see what memories was laying behind the pulsing feeling, almost felt too personal, he hesitated for a second and glanced around himself.

When he looked at the withered flowers the contrasts to the roses in front of him was overwhelming, the feeling of despair, betrayal, self-loathing and hopelessness was hitting him in waves. The withered flowers stood for what Dudley must have felt when Draco´s true intentions and rejection had been brought to light.

Harry scowled thinking about all the ways he wanted to hex Draco Malfoy and all the reasons the other bloke deserved it. He could not let his emotions get the best of him though, he was here for a reason. The depressing thought of Dudley´s mind being made out of entirely withered flowers was more than enough for Harry to take the last steps forwards to the red roses.

The first thing he saw was a _smiling_ Draco, and it was not one of those all too polite smiles, not scowling, not a sneer, not even one of the smirks that he had seen so many times before. No this smile was something else, it made his whole face change and Harry was astonished to realize that this must be a real smile, a genuine smile, there was nothing fake about it. He blinked and moved on, this was already weird and he had only seen Draco smile.

He moved through the first row of roses being met with more memories of the same kind, Draco laughing, Draco sleeping, Draco biting his lip deep in thought, a pair of grey eyes crinkling up at the edges and turning to molted silver, Draco frowning and glaring in mocking disdain but to Harry´s surprise it seemed to be just that, mocking, and not a true loathing emotion. Harry was met with the feelings of fondness, this had to be Dudley´s favorite expressions of Draco´s.

He was stunned, Draco seemed to have letting his walls down around Dudley, he and Draco had admittedly never been friends or even close but he had gotten the impression that the other guy was very private and that to protect himself he never let someone close to himself, never letting anyone see him vulnerable or human if he could prevent it. It baffled Harry to see Draco being so open, he had always seen the other boy as cold and reserved, but the Draco Dudley seemed to know seemed warm and almost happy.

Harry looked at the second row of roses wondering what could hide behind them. It was the small gestures, the once you never even thought about doing but for the other would mean so much. They were lying in a bed, Dudley´s head on Draco´s chest and at a first glance you would have thought Dudley was sleeping. Draco must have thought so as well because he looked down at Dudley before saying "I could get used to this", before the memory ended you could see the corners of Dudley´s mouth turn up as he snuggled closer to Draco.

The next memory was a note and a bottle of hangover potion, the grateful expression and feeling was so strong Harry thought he would be able to touch it if he tried. He was surprised at this as well, since when had Draco cared for someone else and done something for someone just to relieve them of their discomfort.

The next memory was Draco and Dudley talking to someone, it was dark and Harry could not distinguish anything of the surroundings, but it was obvious from the fierce look on Draco´s face and the introverted look and defeated and guilty feelings coming from Dudley that it was not a pleasant encounter. Harry saw Draco squeeze Dudley´s hand and stand up for him, defending them and in response he felt warmth and a feeling of hope and belonging coming from Dudley.

There was also a small sequence of Dudley listening in on Draco reprimanding the portraits of Malfoy ancestors "I am the lord of this house so you better stop spreading spiting prejudice to my guest for your own good, if you don´t and I catch you, you will soon find yourself dusty in some corner of an abandoned vault." As Draco had been walking away he saw Dudley smile. Draco had stood up for Dudley against his own family for having prejudges, Harry didn´t know what to think of this, that Draco was just a pureblooded spoilt coldhearted prejudiced snake was starting to seem very unlikely however.

It just continued, after the small gestures there was a row of moments and things they had done together or for the other. Them flying on a broom, them reading together from the same book, cooking for each other or them cooking together, watching the stars and just genuinely having a good time. Harry had not seen that coming, had not thought he would find memories that could come from any couple.

He knew he was just scratching the surface but he felt he didn´t need to see all the details he just needed to have a general idea of their relationship, he didn´t need to see all the moments or memories he just needed to know what made Dudley fall in love with Draco and what he could do to help him get over it, help him to move on.

When he got behind the roses he saw a small glow from behind an area of higher roses, these roses had thorns and it seemed like Dudley was protecting them from harm, behind these roses there had to be memories that were very special to his cousin.

He had to be very careful so he didn´t cut himself on the thorns, it felt almost symbolic that Dudley was making a statement, a don´t judge the book by its cover kind of thing. That if you never took risks, never looked beyond the horizon you would never get to see and experience the most exciting and beautiful life had to offer.

The memories that he encountered behind these roses was not only of Draco, most of them where but they were also of Dudley at moments when he accepted or experienced something for the first time. The first time he had felt completely happy, the emotion making Harry smile himself because it was so pure and he could feel the contentment flowing from Dudley.

As he went through more of Dudley´s firsts he felt proud of his cousin, he just wished they had talked growing up. Had he known that Dudley hadn´t been rotten like Vernon he would have been able to help Dudley see that none of them had ever been a freak. He smiled seeing memories of the first time Dudley had felt accepted and had been able to be himself if only for small fragments of time.

Then came the memories and the first he had had with Draco, the first time he had shared his thoughts and emotions. He was surprised to see Draco share things with Dudley in return. The first time he felt equal to someone else and felt that he could trust another person, all these emotions was something he had felt with Draco it seemed.

Then there was their first date. Or at least Harry thought it was a date. He was surprised to found out they had been to muggle London, Draco Malfoy had been to muggle London doing muggle things, trusting muggles with his hair, laughing and enjoying the experience. Harry didn´t know what he had expected to see but this was definitely not this.

When he saw Dudley kiss Draco, felt the elated emotion mixed with nerves and trepidation he couldn´t help but think that what he was watching was something special. That whatever reason Draco had had to bring Dudley to the manor, whatever plan he had been making, this was not because of that, it couldn´t be. He wished he could feel Draco´s feelings and thoughts too, he wished he could know for sure what he thought he saw was real.

The next memory started in the garden, he smiled at the now familiar banter the two often shared. When he realized what the memory entailed he wanted to discard the memory but something made him stay. The fact that Draco was taking his time and making sure it was what both he and Dudley wanted was not lost on him. He looked away but he didn´t leave, he realized it was because the whole memory was bedded in what Harry had now started to associate with Dudley´s love for Draco and he couldn´t help but want to let the feeling elate him a little longer.

When the memory ended Harry shook his head, he had seen enough. He was not 100% sure, but he felt that he understood Dudley and why he couldn´t let go of the love he felt for Draco. He didn´t want to help his cousin get over it either, he needed to help him in some other way.

He closed his eyes and drew himself out of Dudley´s mind. He was tired, using legilimency was very exhausting but he had to do something before he could let himself go to sleep. Having a hero complex and wanting to help people was sometimes as much a curse as a blessing. He couldn´t just stand on the sidelines though when he had the power to help someone, he had to do what felt right. Right now saving the love he had just witnessed was more important than anything else.

Dudley was scrunching his eyes up and groaned "what did you do in there, my head feels like exploding" Harry smiled, that was the most alive response he had had from Dudley the whole evening.

"Don´t worry it´s normal to feel a little disoriented and have a small headache" he said offhandedly and stood up, he was about to just leave when Dudley looked at him worriedly.

"What did you see?" he looked so miserable and Harry cursed himself, of course he would be worried over what Harry would have seen and here he was just about to leave as if he had seen something bad. "Eh, nothing too bad… I saw too much really" why was he blushing.

Dudley´s eyes widened "oh, you saw that" it looked like he wanted to disappear. Dudley shook his head and to change the topic asked "where are you going?"

Harry had to think on his feet, he couldn´t say too much, he couldn´t say what he really thought he had seen or where he was heading. He couldn´t risk to get his hopes up when he wasn´t sure, if he was wrong and told Dudley it would just end up in Harry hurting him even more than he was already hurt. He was bad at lying though and he didn´t want to so it seemed best to not just tell Dudley much at all "I´m going out, have something I have to do."

Dudley frowned and looked a little suspicious "now? It´s half past 11, I´m sure whatever it is can wait to the morning" was it really that late, well it couldn´t be helped.

He just nodded to Dudley that was still clutching his head "if you need anything my partner should still be up, I´m sure he would not mind helping out. Just call or why not look around you haven´t been outside this room since you arrived."

Harry smirked to himself when he saw the dumbfounded look on Dudley´s face and the mouthed "he" before he slipped out the door, he had given the other boy something else to think about.

He was not as brave as everyone thought, but who he was spending his life with was something he would not let the wizarding world decide for him, not that they hadn´t tried he thought making him scowl. He would be the figure for everything good and light, he would do what was needed outwards for people to feel safe and for their world to get to their feet again. But he couldn´t be that person all the time everywhere, so when he had realized he was bisexual and had met a guy that didn´t know him as the savior, had just gotten to know him as Harry he hadn´t hesitated.

He wanted others to have what he had, he was going to do his best to help Draco and Dudley have what he had, if there was something there, he had to know I there was love to save.

He headed down the stairs and out of his house with an excited step before he apparated for the second time in as many days to Malfoy manor. He knew what he had seen and he was determined to get them to see it as well. Love could make you do stupid things, love could make you feel things you never thought you would feel and love could make you blind to your own emotions and rational thoughts.

The question if it was love was not a question anymore, he had convinced himself it just had to be.


	18. Chapter 18: Reality Realizations

**Chapter 18: Reality Realizations**

Draco was lying in his bed staring up at the ceiling, he wanted to sleep forever without needing to think or feel anything anymore but he was unable to do that. He had been lying there for a few hours and he now knew every line and scratch on the cream white ceiling. He frowned at the aspect of his ceiling being so dull and boring, just like his life was at the moment.

He didn´t know what to do, he had thought that the disappointment of losing Dudley and his plan being crushed would have been starting to let up by now, that it would be going over into determination and that he would be able to use the disappointment as fuel when coming up with a new plan, an even better plan.

He found he didn´t want to come up with a new plan though. He didn´t really want to do anything anymore, he didn´t feel like doing anything and he didn´t know what to do about it, what to do to get his drive for life back. He didn´t want to eat, he didn´t want to sleep, he didn´t want to do anything without Dudley there and he still felt so bad because he had hurt him. He scowled at the feeling, Malfoy´s was not supposed to feel bad for anyone, everyone lived for themselves and if they trusted the wrong people it was their own faults.

But Draco didn´t want to be someone that was a wrong person to trust, he was a snake but he didn´t want to be considered someone that would just slither himself through life by telling half-truths and by unethical and unfair methods.

He had thought he would be thrilled by the aspect of his probation being over, that he would want to go out and live his life again. A few months ago all he ever wanted was to be free again, but he found himself not caring at the least anymore if he was able to go out and interact in the wizarding world or not. He found himself not caring about a lot of things at the moment.

Draco had always thought that having things or that being able to do whatever you wanted was what would make you happy, he know saw that doing things and having things meant nothing when you hadn´t anyone to experience the things with or to talk to about them. He didn´t want to do anything by himself when he had had a person to share the things with but he had made it go away.

It was frustrating to realize something when it was already too late. He hated not knowing what to do or why he was feeling the way he was, he hated to not be able to plan his life or to have to live by someone else's rules. He didn´t get why he was so affected by Dudley, why he didn´t want to do anything because he couldn´t do them with the other boy and that it was all his own fault.

He didn´t get what made him feel so lost and not quite himself anymore when Dudley was not around, he couldn´t wrap his head around what was making him feel so broken. He had no idea what to do to make the feelings go away, he didn´t think there was a spell to erase them, if there was it would have been a relief, he wanted to not feel anything at all.

His father had always said that emotions was a disadvantage and that if you opened up to someone you also opened yourself up to being hurt. He wasn´t hurt though, yes he was frustrated and disappointed, a little lost maybe but not hurt, Dudley was the one being hurt and not him.

He didn´t want to think anymore either, it pained him to think when all he ended up thinking about was Dudley and what they could have been doing at the moment if everything hadn´t gone wrong. He didn´t want to close his eyes or fall asleep either because when he closed his eyes he saw that smile he liked so much and when he slept he dreamt of the other boy as well.

He had thought about using Obliviate on himself or taking dreamless sleep but he was not comfortable enough with the Obliviate spell to get it right and just make himself forget the memories containing Dudley so he refrained from trying. Taking dreamless sleep didn´t help either because when he woke up nothing would have changed and he would still feel, he hated feeling.

Of course there was emotions he liked to feel but he would choose not feeling at all for the rest of his life over continuing to feel like he did at the moment.

He turned around in his bed lying on his side instead, his back had started to hurt by lying in the same position for too long, not that he cared much about being uncomfortable or not, it felt unimportant, everything felt unimportant right now. He started to stare out the window instead, not that there was much to see, it had darkened and everything had turned black, what he saw was all an infinity of empty blackness, the same empty blackness that currently was living inside of him.

He blinked when he heard a sound but he didn´t turn around, it was probably just him making it up in his head. The last time he had slept he had dreamt of Dudley coming back to him, he had come back to tell Draco that he didn´t care and that he understood without Draco needing to explain his actions, it had all been a big misunderstanding and it was all going to be okay. It had been a huge relief until he had woken up with a smile on his face just to realize it had not been real and he was just as alone and empty as before with Dudley still hurt and hating his guts.

The sounds continued though and before he knew it he heard his door being wrenched open and someone´s elaborated breathing. He still didn´t care enough about what would happen or about why there was an intruder in his home, in his bedroom, to turn around.

"Why are you just lying there, why are you giving up, the Malfoy I know would fight for what he wants. I will kick you in the arse to get you moving if that is what you need to go and straighten up this mess."

He blinked again, he recognized that voice. What was Potter doing here? He knew the savior of the wizarding world was forgiving and had a people saving thing, but for him to have overlooked his deceiving and come here to do what, encourage him to take command of his life again, it was absurd. And fighting for what he wanted, Harry wanted him to fight for him, he still had a chance at his plan, the aspect made his spirits increase but he still felt the ache inside.

Potter being there did make him react though and he slowly rolled over to his other side so that he faced the other man "Potter… What are you doing here, again?"

Potter just shook his head, his cheeks was red and his hair was even more messy than usual. "I told you already, I´m here to make you see what you already know deep inside that stubborn heart of yours, I´m here to make you realize that you still got a chance. You just have to believe enough in yourself and your love to take it." He groaned, he was too tired for Potter´s riddles and vague statements that strangely enough made him think of Albums Dumbledore, which made a lot of unpleasant memories arise.

Draco didn´t have energy to play the Slytherin game of eluding to what they wanted to say without saying it outright until he had Harry exactly where he wanted him and he could strike and get the other boy to agree to his plan. He didn´t have energy to beat around the bush, he didn´t think Harry would appreciate it much either for that matter the bloke was rather straight forward. Draco frowned, why was he taking in consideration what Harry may or may not appreciate, that was none of his concerns, his needs and getting what he wanted should always be the main focus. Being around Dudley must have affected him in more ways than he had thought, he was losing his impregnated Malfoy behavior and it was very unsettling.

Harry was looking at him impatiently and that made Draco snap "what right do you have to just storm in here demanding I do things or you will make me" it was nice having something else to focus on than his feelings and thoughts of Dudley. Snapping at Harry was familiar and made him forget reality even for only a few minutes, it was worth it and he knew Harry could take it.

Harry just looked at him smiling a little, like he had expected Draco to make a comment like that or something similar and it made Draco irritated. "I´m not here to make you do anything, I´m here to help you" Draco just scowled and rolled over. He was not in the mood to let Harry Potter see him in destress, he had to keep the Malfoy masks up at all times. He didn´t need any help, he would figure this out and really even if he wanted Harry he would make the other work for it, that was another game he liked to play and he needed a distraction.

He heard Harry sigh and take a few more steps into the room "you know Draco, you and I may be more alike than you think" Harry was saying.

He smirked he would test that theory right away, he had decided not to beat around the bush after all "oh really, so you have had a secret plan to get me to be yours as well, I had no idea."

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Harry stared at the back of Draco "get me… to be yours?" It took a few moments before the words had registered and he had fully understood their meaning, when he did he gaped for a few seconds before he started to laugh. Draco thought he wanted Harry? He hadn´t known what Draco would do and why he had acted the why he had but the thought of Dudley being a way for him to get to Harry had never even crossed his mind.

Draco was turning around again and the expression on his face, a combination of displeasure and determination made Harry laugh even more, Draco had been serious then. He closed his eyes to calm himself down, he was there to make Draco realize he loved Dudley and to do that he had to stay focused "wow, I didn't see that one coming… Sorry to break it to you but I already have a boyfriend and we are very happy, so no I haven´t had any such plans."

That seemed to make Draco disappointed and Harry almost thought that Draco really was harboring a crush on him from maybe a long time ago. This thought was broken though when Draco opened his mouth and spoke "you´re gay? But that would take the whole fun and the challenge out of it." Harry shook his head in astonishment, Draco was something else.

"Why are you even thinking of winning me over when you are in love with someone else? Someone you should be out there fighting for right now." It was time to break it to Draco and he hoped that the other boy would listen to reason, he tried to not be overly optimistic though, the guy was a Malfoy after all and they were known to be very stubborn.

Draco snorted at him and looked at him in the way he used to do when they had been in school, like he knew better than everyone else. "Me in love? That is ridiculous, a Malfoy doesn´t love anyone, other than maybe themselves that is."

Harry studied him, Draco looked confident but it seemed that he was protecting himself and like what he said was not his own words. Harry smiled when he saw Draco´s glance flicking slightly, he was uncertain and was trying to convince himself as much as he was informing Harry. Harry was glad at that moment that he had become an auror, it made him good at reading people, even people that was experts on hiding their emotions, like Draco.

He was fascinated though by how different Draco was, how different this Draco was to the Draco he had seen in Dudley's memories. He was keeping Harry at a distance while he had opened up and had let Dudley in to get to know him and see who he really was underneath that hard exterior.

Harry had to play this smart and try to not make Draco more defensive, the sorting hat hadn´t wanted to put him in Slytherin for nothing, he could be sneaky if he needed to. So instead of directly arguing with what Draco had said he changed the topic "so what were you doing when I arrived?"

Draco that seemed to have prepared some snide comeback to Harry´s accusations of him being in love frowned at the random question. "I was sleeping" he said glaring at Harry "until a very rude person woke me up" the glare intensified.

Cooking his head Harry thought he had to take some risks, he was not 100 % sure but he was quite confident in fact that Draco had not been sleeping "is that so, to me it looked more like you were sulking and if I may speculate it may have been because you were missing someone."

He smirked when he saw the clouded expression in Draco´s eyes change to something looking a lot like regret before they turned blank again and Draco narrowed them intensifying the glare directed at Harry even further. "No you may not speculate" Harry snickered at that, Draco had not contradicted his statement on that Draco was missing someone.

He had to keep the momentum going and not let Draco think and put even more barriers around himself and suppress the emotions he could see being under the surface. "I have been talking to Dudley you know and if I´m not mistaken I would say you both care a lot about each other" it wouldn´t be wise to share that he had seen memories of Draco and Dudley together, not yet anyway.

He looked at the boy on the bed that seemed sad at the mention of Dudley, but he soon straightened his back again and plastered an indifferent expression on his face. Draco seemed hesitant though like he wanted to ask how Dudley was but was refraining himself from doing so. Harry would just have to tell him anyway then "he isn´t doing so good you know, his confidence was shattered and he thinks he doesn´t deserve to be loved. He thinks you didn´t value his company and that you only used him like he was worth nothing more than any replaceable inanimate object."

It was very fascinating, seeing the Malfoy masks give away right in front of his eyes. The person that was exposed underneath looked very small, he looked human and vulnerable like any other person that had made a mistake that had lost them someone they cared about. Harry cheered inside, he knew Draco cared about Dudley and he would make Draco see it as well.

He looked closer at Draco and his inner cheering stopped, the boy in front of him looked much worse than he had first thought, much worse than Draco had first showed him he corrected himself.

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The words Harry had just said had felt like a knife stabbing him right in the heart. Dudley had come so far in discovering who he was and what made him happy since he had arrived at the manor, and Draco had been a part of making that happen. Now it seemed that all that was gone and Draco knew the only one to blame was him, he felt terrible, he hadn´t wanted that but he didn´t know how to make it better.

He winced when he remembered Harry still sitting there watching him, the emotions that had hit him had made him drop his masks and he was sure the distress he was still feeling in causing Dudley heartbreak, insecurities and self-degradation had been clear as day on his unguarded face. He closed his eyes willing his emotions and the truth to be suppressed, he was a bad person and he had caused a good person pain, because Dudley was a good person, a person very much deserving of love, much unlike him.

How could he be deserving of love when he was unable to give love back. Dudley was not replaceable, he may have to accept that he would no longer be in his life but he had never been able to let go and be himself around anyone like he had been able to be free around Dudley. He had never had anyone genuinely caring about him before, making him feel special for just being him. He had never had anyone appreciating things about him that didn´t benefit anyone else, or irritated most people to be honest. He had never had anyone that had understood him like Dudley had done, he had never had anyone in his corner unconditionally just because they liked him.

Loved he thought biting his lip, Dudley had loved him. What had he done, he had had more than he had even known there was to have in life, he had had someone that he could have called his and he had thrown it away, and for what exactly, his pride?

Why had Dudley loved him though, he didn´t get it, why love someone when they would never get love back in return. He was a Malfoy, he had been born and raised with an ice cold hand, his soul was damaged, and the warmth and love he had never received had made him just as cold and heartless as his family. He was looking down at his lap, the truth hurt, it was he that was not deserving of Dudley´s love and not the other way around.

He felt the bed dip and felt Harry lay a tentative hand on his shoulder, he thought of shaking it off but refrained from doing so.

"I can see that you feel bad, and you kind of deserve it to be honest" so that was it, Harry had really come to rub it in, he had not come to help him in any way he was there to stray salt in his wounds. "But Dudley still loves you for some reason, and for me to not do everything I can to make him have what makes him the happiest, that just wouldn´t be me."

Draco frowned and looked up, Dudley still loved him, how was that possible? He took in a deep breath, it didn´t really matter though, he may have deluded Dudley in thinking that he could make him happy but the truth was that he would only hurt the other boy in the end. Hurting Dudley was something he wanted to avoid to a very high extent, he would do the other boy a favor if he just let him go. Dudley deserved someone that could love the other boy back with the same intensity, and that was able to give him every part of themselves, he deserved someone not damaged, someone that wasn´t him.

He could hear Harry sigh beside him "why do you feel bad?" Draco just shook his head, what kind of question was that, who wouldn´t feel bad after what he had done and what it had resulted in.

When Draco didn´t answer the question it seemed like Harry took it like a sign for him to answer his own question himself instead. "I think you feel bad because Dudley feel bad, you feel bad because he feels bad because of you" Draco was about to protest even though there did lay truth in what Harry was saying, Harry was holding up his hands though in a motion showing that he didn´t want to hear anything like it.

"Most people would say it was a natural reaction, of course _anyone_ would feel guilty," Harry was glancing at him like he was nervous he would react badly to what he would be saying next. "But you´re a Malfoy. Malfoy´s are not capable of love, they don´t feel _bad _for other people, they don´t care if their actions hurt others if there is something to gain for themselves" Harry smiled sadly "I could go on for a while, the list is long over what Malfoy´s are supposed to _not_ feel, am I right?"

Draco was astonished how did Harry know that, how did he know how it was to be a Malfoy. He was torn however because his head knew that what Harry had said was true, he was a Malfoy and he had been drilled in not feeling, especially not for others and caring for their useless emotions. But he was feeling and that was the problem, Dudley made him feel, his whole body was affected by the feelings coming from within, coming from his heart.

He had never listened to his heart before so he discarded the feelings, he hated feeling anyway, it was easier to focus on what he knew and what he was supposed to not feel. "Exactly" he didn´t feel like elaborating.

Harry nodded as if he had proved something to himself, how was beyond Draco though, he had just agreed with a simple statement. "I think you are more though, more than just a Malfoy, beyond that you are Draco." Draco frowned at that not seeing what Harry wanted to make him see by that, of course he knew he was Draco Malfoy, this was ridiculous.

"I was wrong" that was not something he had seen coming out of Harry´s mouth, he smirked, he had wanted to hear that for a long time. "I was wrong when I said you hadn´t changed, you have changed and deep down I think you know it too."

Draco narrowed his eyes, what was Harry´s intentions with saying all these things, how could he make a suggestion pointing to that he knew something about Draco that even Draco didn´t know about himself, that was absurd.

Harry signed again and stood and started to pace, but to Draco´s dismay it didn´t seem like Harry had any indication to leave him alone in his dismay again anytime soon.

"Who do you want to see when you wake up in the morning?" _Dudley_ "before you go to bed in the evening?" _Dudley_ "banter with?" _Dudley_ "never see sad?" _Dudley_ "be the reason for that special smile?" _Dudley_ "live the rest of your life with?" _Dudley_… wait what?

He blinked, why had he thought that? He shook his head, of course he had thought about Dudley, it was only logical, the guy had been the only person he had seen except for Harry and the muggles in London in a very long time. The notion of sharing his life with Dudley, like equals on the foundation of friendship, truth, mutual desire and emotions instead of lies and hidden agendas was not a thought that he could disregard though. It was a thought that had gripped his heart and filled it with hope.

The thought of him and Dudley getting back together was beginning to seep into his brain and without his permission he started to smile.

He was brought back from his thoughts by Harry setting himself down on his bed again "you thought of the same person for all those moments didn´t you… listen to your heart, it might surprise you."

Draco stared ahead, how he had been so stupid. He had been blind to his own emotions. He did love Dudley. He Draco Malfoy was in love and he hadn´t even seen it.

"I have to go… Wait, where do you live?" Harry had been right, what was he doing here, he had to go and fight for the only one that had been able to make him feel, to make him realize he was capable of loving and caring, realizing that he was a human like everyone else. He had to try to convince Dudley that he did love him and deserved his love in return, he had to convince Dudley that they could have something special together after all, it was everything that mattered.

Harry laughed "you are not going anywhere, it´s 2 in the morning and we have a lot of planning to do to make you sweep Dudley of his feet so that you can live happily ever after."

Draco scowled at that but could see that Harry was only teasing and he couldn´t really be angry at Potter at the moment, he had made him see what really mattered after all. He may even have to thank him later if everything went as he hoped it would, the notion making him curse inside, he hated apologizing and especially to Potter.


	19. Chapter 19: Fearlessly Forever

**Chapter 19: Fearlessly Forever**

It was the next morning and Dudley was perplexed over that Harry hadn´t returned from wherever he had gone to do whatever, it still bugged him that Harry had left like that without giving him anything, he wanted to know what Harry had thought about Draco. It was so easy to see things that wasn´t real because you wanted them to be so badly, to get Harry´s opinion would have been like a final clarification.

He knew it was very naïve to think Draco had harbored anything for him that had resembled the feelings Dudley still were feeling. But to think that everything had been a big lie, it was too painful for worlds, so he wouldn´t go there before someone confirmed that it was the truth.

Even if he just got to know that Draco at least had started to regard him as a genuine friend and thought Dudley was a pleasant person would mean a lot, it would not be what he wanted to hear but it would be better than nothing and he would at least know that he was worth more than nothing to Draco.

Breakfast hadn´t appeared on the floor by the door this morning and he stretched deciding that even if he didn´t want to he needed to eat, he rolled out of bed and took out a t-shirt Harry had left for him in the closet, he grimaced when he recognized it as one of the ones Harry had inherited after him when they were in their teenage years. It was actually too big on him now, and the logotype on the front made him feel uneasy, this was not him and it felt weird to mix who he was with the old and fake Dudley.

He wished Draco had been there, he could just have transfigured the shirt to something that was more the real him, even though he would probably have made something a little fancier appear and insist on that it would enchant his "finer curves and features". He would probably have flirted too and said something like "and also I get something nice to look at and you get to look good, not that you don´t always do of course, I never settle for the second best" and Dudley would have blushed and stammered something in response making Draco snicker and slap him on his arse.

Dudley sighed, it was a nice daydream, he had really loved how they had been around each other and how it had made him feel, he had really thought Draco had too. Back to reality though, there was no him and Draco anymore and he just had to move forward with what he had. He looked down at the shirt in his hands and let out a long exhale before putting it on, there was nothing to it really he just had to get through it, it would get better he tried to tell himself, it just had too.

He went out of the room he had been in the last few days, on the way out he looked around himself surprised to realize that he was in a small townhouse, he had thought he would find himself in a big mansion. He knew Harry was famous in the wizarding world and after seeing Draco´s house he had thought Harry would have something similar, not that Harry was someone that he had thought liked things too flashy or expensive.

When he walked down the stairs he was surprised to see a lot of muggle things, there was a TV next to the big fireplace and he could see a computer when he glanced in through a slightly open door to what had to be a small study. There was of course traces of magic as well all around, the broom standing against the wall, the pot over the mantel for traveling through the fireplace and the moving photography's on the walls. He had gone up the stairs when he had first arrived but he had been so emotionally devastated that he had been in a daze not really taking in anything of his surroundings at the time.

He was startled when he heard a noise from the room he thought was the kitchen, that was when he remembered that Harry had told him he had a boyfriend and that he would probably be home and could help Dudley if he needed assistance with anything.

He cursed and turned around to go back up the stairs, he didn´t want to be to any trouble for Harry´s boyfriend, he had already had to stand having a complete stranger taking up his guest room for the last few days, it was more than enough. It was best if he just stayed out of the way for the time being.

Before he was even able to start going up the stairs he was stopped by a strangely familiar voice "hey there, I thought I heard something" he thought he could hear a smile come from the other boy but didn´t turn around to make sure. "Do you want breakfast?" Dudley shook his head, he was sure he had heard that voice before but it couldn´t possibly be.

It was impolite to go without even greeting the other guy, he sighed there went his plan of staying out of the way. He turned around slowly and was met with a bloke having a wide smile and a pair of gleaming eyes wearing a pink apron, Dudley blinked a few times, it was possible and he did know Harry´s boyfriend, he hadn´t seen him in several years but he was 100 % sure it was him.

He saw when the other boy realized it as well, he frowned and cocked his head to the side before his eyes widened and he started laughing "the world is very small" Dudley froze when he felt a pair of arms encircle him "Dudley, it really is you." What just happened, did he just hug him, after a few seconds he hugged back, it felt nice to feel something else than despair again.

He was relived, they hadn´t ended their friendship in the best of ways so to get this reaction seeing him again was something he would have never expected. "It´s me… Callum?"

Harry´s boyfriend was his old best friend, who would have thought, it was crazy how life turned around on you, he had thought he would never see Callum ever again. Seeing him and getting the greeting that he had made him see that maybe things would be alright, he had people that would like him if he just gave them a chance, maybe if he was lucky he would get his long lost best friend back.

"Harry talked about his cousin, he told me what happened, I´m so proud of you for accepting who you are. I had no idea his cousin was you though, wow" Dudley smiled, really Cullum's energy was infectious.

The hug ended and they moved to the kitchen where they sat down to eat and catch up "I didn´t even know Harry had a boyfriend before yesterday and now I get to know it´s you" it really was mindboggling. "I didn´t even know you had any connections to the wizarding world" he said as an afterthought.

"I actually met Harry in the muggle world, but I do for a fact have magical relatives. My cousins Colin and Dennis Creevey" Callum chuckled at that and Dudley tilted his head in wonderment. "Colin was one of Harry´s biggest fans growing up so when I mentioned that we were dating he had quite a spectacular reaction, running around the house jumping up and down repeating that he and Harry would be family, it was rather cute if I do say so myself."

Dudley just shook his head, how was it that everyone new everyone somehow. This Colin guy sounded quite amusing and Dudley wondered if he would ever meet him, hoping that he would.

He felt himself quite curious how Callum and Harry had met, he liked hearing others stories as they were much happier than his. "You said you met in the muggle world, how did you meet exactly?"

That question lead to Callum getting lost in memories, Dudley had forgotten how much he could talk if he was excited about something, but he didn´t mind at all actually, enjoying the tale of them meeting at an information day for collage. How Callum hadn´t connected the dots from the stories Colin had told him about Harry and the bashful, cute guy that stood there looking a little lost. How they had gone to 3 dates and already fallen completely for each other before he had figured out that he was that _Harry Potter_ when Harry had accidentally said something about quidditch and tried to correct himself saying that the squid dish sounded good. Dudley had chuckled at that for a while wondering if he had looked as in love when talking about Draco as Callum did when he talked about Harry.

It was at least a quarter later before Callum was finished telling the story "I´m sorry, I must bore you just talking about myself like this, what about you and Harry´s old classmate? I always hoped that someday you would be able to love yourself and be able to find someone."

Dudley looked down at his lap, he liked the easy atmosphere and listening to Callum talk, he didn´t want to ruin it with talk about his problems. He had burdened his friend enough with them when they were younger putting him in compromised situations.

He felt a finger on his chin lifting his head up so that he was looking straight in the other boy´s eyes "don´t give up hope if you still think there is something to hope for" he did think that, he hoped there was something to still hope for at the very least.

"Love has its own life, it will happen when we are ready for it. If you and Draco love each other I believe you will find your way back together you just have to believe in it too."

Dudley nodded at that because he did believe, he knew he had found the love of his life in Draco, the question was if Draco had found the love of his life in him, of that he wasn´t so sure. Callum still had some wise words to share it seemed "like we did, we lost our track and went separate ways but in the end we crossed roads again because we were ready to, more mature and understanding, I think the same will be for you and Draco." Dudley hoped that he was right and that it wouldn´t take years until that happened.

There was a tap on the window and Callum went to let the owl in, Dudley couldn´t see what it had delivered more than that it was a small piece of paper. Callum read it and gave the own a bit of bacon before sending it on his way.

When he turned back from the window towards Dudley he had an even wider smile on his face, he took one look at Dudley though and shook his head.

"We should go out and do something today, you have been pent up in here for far too long. First though I will have to get you into something more flattering" Dudley smiled when he heard some muttering about talking to Harry and burning that hideous thing.

He had thought he wouldn´t want to go out in a long time but to his surprise he didn´t mind so much, a little fresh air would probably do him good.

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Draco was sitting in the same corner that he had sat in with Dudley all those weeks ago, he was sitting there wringing his hands together and biting his bottom lip, he hated waiting. He hated waiting even more when he didn´t know what would happen, he liked making others wait on him that was how it was supposed to be and not the other way around.

"Will you relax Draco, they will be here just take a deep breath" Harry was sitting on the other side of the table and he was smiling an all too knowing smile "seeing you nervous like this is very _cute_ though."

Draco scowled and glared for good measure, no one not even Dudley was allowed to call him cute because he wasn´t anything resembling the notion. His irritation just seemed to amuse Harry though who laughed at him stating that the pouting only made him look even cuter.

What if he was nervous, it was only natural if you were trying to make up to your mistake of hurting a person that meant a lot to you. He was very skeptical that Dudley would show up after that Harry had only sent one owl, he wasn´t happy to admit it but he would probably need to do a lot more than he felt comfortable with to win Dudley back, he was prepared to do whatever it took though because Dudley was worth it.

He sneered at Harry ignoring to even address the cute issue "how can you be so sure he will be here?" He hated to hear his insecurities and doubt seep into his voice, this was not like him.

Harry didn´t seem to care however, he was in a spectacular mood it seemed because he smiled dreamily which strangely did reassure him slightly. "Well if you knew my boyfriend you would be too" so that was the reason for that smile "if I have a saving people thing he have a thing for happy endings and sappy love stories, he is such a romantic" the dreamy smile had now turned into a fond smile and Draco looked away, Harry just had to get together with a Hufflepuff didn´t he.

It wasn´t before he felt someone ruffle his hair that he turned his head back around again, Harry was smiling, no he was smirking at him. It was very unsettling, he was not used to have someone having something on him and to have that person being Potter didn´t make him feel any better.

"Don´t look at me like that… You know you have the same silly little smiles when we talk about Dudley, right? You can´t hide from love it absorb you and makes the true you emerge."

He narrowed his eyes "I do not" and that was final, he may love Dudley but it was no way that he was behaving like a lovesick puppy, no way. He regarded Harry and found himself quite enjoying bickering with the other guy, if he succeeded and got back together with Dudley they would practically be family. That thought made him smile and not because it was Harry potter and being family with the savior would benefit to him both politically and higher his status and reputation in the wizard community. No that didn´t really matter what mattered was that he would have people that wanted to be his family because they valued him and not because he was a pureblood or out of obligations.

It turned out that Harry had been right because just a few minutes later they heard voices as the door to the small establishment opened. From the entrance a guy walked in with wavy golden blond hair, light blue eyes and the brightest smile Draco had ever witnessed, his clothes was very elegant and flattered his form to perfection. Draco thought that he should ask the guy where he bought his clothes, or more likely who his tailor was, all thoughts about clothes disappeared however when he spotted who was following the guy in, it was Dudley.

He was looking more incredible than ever, he made a mental note of it probably being to the golden blond boy´s influence. The light from outside was casting a glow over him which was making Draco wonder how he could have missed how beautiful he was and how he affected him and why, there was no doubt in his mind that he was in love with Dudley. The moment disappeared though when he got a better look of Dudley´s face and eyes, there was something missing as he looked a bit distant and the easygoing happiness that was normally present was absent. Draco felt a pang in his chest realizing it was likely due to him, he was what had made Dudley feel miserable and looking hurt and exhausted.

Dudley was looking around himself in astonishment it seemed, he looked like he didn´t really want to be there but didn´t know how to say so. Then he saw Draco and blinked before he frowned. Draco was close to look away, he had hoped Dudley would smile when he saw him like nothing had happened but of course that had been very unrealistic, instead Dudley looked more confused than ever, like he didn´t know what to make of the situation.

Harry made a sound in the back of his throat and got up from the table, he squeezed Draco´s shoulder before making his way over to the stranger that had to be Harry´s boyfriend. He took the boy´s hand and told him it was time to leave, the boyfriend looked like he didn´t want to but after a look from Harry they made their way from the building after that the blond guy had turned around and given Dudley a smile and a thumbs up.

Draco looked at Dudley again, he was nervous, he had talked with Harry and they had come up with a plan but he was still not sure what to do or say now when Dudley was there right in front of him. In the end the only thing that came to his mind was "hi" and he cursed himself for being so inadequate.

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Dudley had thought they would just go out for a walk or maybe do something around the neighborhood, he was therefore very surprised when Callum lead him to the subway and they ended up in London.

He had not been overly aware of their surroundings or of where they were going instead focusing on Callum´s constant chatter that surprisingly calmed him down and made him relax.

Than out of nowhere Callum had stopped opened a door and they had headed inside, it took a few moments before he had recognized the place as the restaurant he had brought Draco to that one time they had went to London. It was very different though, it was no customers and the light had dimmed with candles floating in the air instead of being placed on the tables, there was also roses and tulips instead of those fabricated flowers that had been there before.

He saw Harry and Draco at the corner table and looked at them unseeingly, why was he there, why had Draco wanted him there? He had already opened up his heart to him once and it had ended in heartbreak, he didn´t know if he could do it again. If Draco had never wanted him, never loved or even liked him why was he doing this? If he gave after and gave himself permission to hope it was a big chance he would be hurt again and he didn´t think he could take it a second time, not without being damaged forever.

While he stood there the others left and he was alone with Draco, one part of him wanted to just rush to Draco and hug him and say it was okay and that he still loved him no matter what. The other part of him however wanted to turn around and go back outside, it was all of a sudden harder to breathe, he wasn´t ready for his hope to be put out for good.

Draco greeted him and he nodded before taking a few heavy steps to the table and slumping down on the opposite side of the already seated boy. He swallowed, better make it fast and get it over with "why did you use me? You can tell me, I can take it" he didn´t know if he could but he could pretend he was okay and then not be in private later.

He saw Draco grimace, his hand seemed to twitch like he wanted to reach out but didn´t dare too, Dudley frowned he had thought Draco didn´t really care.

"At first I thought you convenient, a connection that would get me closer to your cousin. I would provide you with a bed and something to eat and you would provide me with a foot in with the most famous man in the wizarding world" Dudley bowed his head, Draco hadn´t cared for him he had only cared for what he could give him and it was painful to get it confirmed. After a moment of silence he looked up and saw that Draco was hesitating and he looked nervous like what he was going to say next pained him "I am not going to lie to you" Dudley must have made an incredulous sound because Draco shook his head "again… helping you was not my priority at first, it just made my actions more justified in my mind and I had planned to just have you around for as long as I needed you."

Dudley looked away, he felt a big lump form in his throat he was nothing more to Draco than Harry had been to his parents, they had taken him in for money where as Draco had done it for getting recognition from Harry. It hurt more than he could have imagined hearing it come from Draco´s lips, he wished he hadn´t gone out today and that he had never met him again, not knowing was sometimes better than knowing the truth. Now he would be able to move on though, to have a closure.

He felt the tears he hadn´t cried coming and he closed his eyes and stood up, he had to get out of there. When he was about to turn around he felt a hand clutching his and he opened his eyes.

Draco had stood up too and to his surprise he was the one crying, in his surprise he froze on the spot. "Something changed" Draco had taken his other hand in his too now "you made me change and I was blind to see it for so long but I see it now."

Dudley didn´t know what to make of that but what he saw in Draco´s eyes made his hope flare up again, he had never seen something more genuine or open before, something conveying so much emotion. This was all there was, this was Draco, his Draco and he couldn´t, no he wouldn´t let him go.

"What changed… what do you see?" he had to know, nothing had ever felt more important than this moment, either he would get complete happiness or be shattered into a million pieces.

Draco took in a breath before giving a half broken smile which was still the most beautiful Dudley have ever seen. "I saw you as a human being and not just a muggle… you showed me that emotions can be more than a weakness and that I don´t need to hide behind masks to be strong" he looked directly in to Dudley´s eyes making his breath catch in his throat "you have made me see and believe in love, that I am capable of love."

Dudley just stared, did that mean…? He didn´t even dare to think it could be true and just waited holding his breath.

"That…" Draco looked like someone that was going to give his first confession in church that was how nervous he looked "that I… love you" Dudley let out his breath. He knew what Draco said was the truth, there was nothing he was hiding behind he was lying all his heart out for Dudley to take and Dudley wanted to do nothing more.

He felt himself smile, a full on beam, the first one he had made since he had left the manor a few days ago, he saw Draco breath out in relief and Dudley did what he had longed to do since he had first seen Draco sitting there, he let go of the other boy´s hands and hugged him close.

When they broke away he felt Draco´s gaze on him, he raised an eyebrow in question "you can´t tell anyone about how emotional I got, especially not Harry" that made Dudley laugh and shook his head, he loved Draco and there was nothing that would ever change that.

When he didn't say anything though Draco narrowed his eyes "promise" which made Dudley laugh more, it was just something so cute with Draco being, well so typical Draco he guessed. "Promise" he said anyway, he didn´t want anyone else to know either because that totally open side of Draco was his, and moments like that was personal.

After that they had pizza, which it turned out Draco had done with the help of Harry that morning, it was custom made for him with his favorites, he shook his head wondering how Draco could have thought that he wasn´t adorable and romantic. He knew better than to comment on the extremely sweet gesture though.

Instead he informed Draco of what he had gotten himself into "you know that now when you have confessed your undying love for me I´m never letting you go, right?"

Draco scowled at the undying part which made Dudley snicker he was so predictable, the scowl became a smile though before Dudley had finished speaking. "I had hoped for something like that actually, I was afraid before, afraid to let myself be vulnerable but with you I am fearless, the only thing I was afraid of was losing you and you have just told me that will never happen."

Dudley nodded, he had been afraid too, afraid to be himself for so long, afraid to accept who he was, afraid to believe he was worth being loved. But with Draco he felt loved all the time, he had felt loved even before Draco had known he loved him but he had been afraid to believe in that Draco had loved him. Now he could let go of those fears and it was refreshing and like drooping a big weight from his shoulders.

He looked at Draco and took up his glass with soda, Draco rose his glass containing wine and they clinked them together. "Forever" he said and Draco smiled and nodded "fearlessly and forever."

They had started kissing after that and had been interrupted by an "awwwe" which had come from Callum who had returned to see how things were going. Draco had seemed mortified at being caught kissing by Harry Potter´s boyfriend, Dudley had just shook his head and smiled fondly at _his_ pouting boyfriend.

He could not have been happier than he was at that moment, his life had turned out just fine, he had family that accepted him in Harry, he had Callum a friend that he could be himself around and he had a boyfriend that loved him. Life could really not get much better than that.

* * *

**That was the last chapter guys. I hope you liked it, I very much liked to write it at least. There will be an epilogue that I plan to post before Christmas then it´s finished.**

**I´ll be away for Christmas without Internet and will therefor have a lot of time for starting a new story (: I would like to ask you if you have any pairings or other things you would like me to write about? I will take any suggestions into consideration.**

**Happy Holidays**

**Rainbow colored kisses**

**/Erica **


	20. Chapter 20: Another Adventure (epilogue)

**Chapter 20: Another Adventure (epilogue)**

He was sitting at the desk in the study and staring at a blank sheet of paper. He had put it off long enough and a few words from long ago was circulating in his mind _"__I still love you but I can´t support this, come find me when you have a family"_ and he had to at least try.

He had a family now, a perfect family just the way it was and if his mother still loved him she would be able to accept that and see the love that they had for each other. If she wanted to be a part of his family again he would give her a chance, truth be told he missed her. And it also felt unfair to both his children and to Petunia to take away the opportunity for them to get to know one another.

He sighed it was over ten years now since he had seen his parents for the last time, he was not even sure if they would want to see him or if they were even alive. He knew he had the support from Draco whatever happened though, he would be there for every step, he would try to get along with them if they decided to reconnect and comfort him if they still rejected him for who he was.

He took up the pencil, this would be the hardest letter that he would ever have attempted to write, even harder than the one he had written and had intended for Harry to read. Then he had known what he wanted to say now he had no idea how he was even going to start.

_Dear Petunia Dursley_

It was a start at least even if it felt too formal at the same time as it didn´t. He was about to continue writing when he almost was knocked out of his chair by a flying object. He blinked and looked around himself wondering what that had been, then he heard some giggling and saw a red mantel and dark blond hair swishing by, their daughter Kara then "sorry daddy" she shouted over her shoulder.

Dudley just shook his head and chuckled when he saw Draco coming after her "that way" Draco would need all the help he could get. Kara was their oldest with a brother 2 years younger. Kara was their little trouble maker and even more so now when she had started to have small but unpredictable bursts of magic, Harry had once commented that she would have fitted right in with the marauders to which Draco had been terrified. To be honest though he was confident in that she would be a Gryffindor, he knew Draco was too even if he didn´t want to admit it.

He left the letter on the desk making his way to the door and looking into the other room where Draco was standing in front of Kara and holding on to her shoulders so that she couldn´t run away.

"What have I said about running around inside like that, and about playing in the study?" he sounded reprimanding but Dudley could hear the fondness in Draco´s voice, he was a good father.

"To not do it, but Uncle Harry… " Dudley chuckled at that, he had heard this argument many times before and it was always as amusing, he did think Draco was right though at least when it came to running around inside.

"What have a told you about listening to Uncle Harry?" Draco said sighing and Dudley could just imagining the raised eyebrow even if he couldn´t see it.

Kara grimaced and shuffled her feet "not to listen to anything he says because if I do I will likely become a dumb Gryffindork" Dudley shook his head, he needed to talk to Draco so that their daughter wouldn´t think they would be disappointed when she was sorted into Gryffindor.

He had heard the next argument before too "you are no fun and my namesake would have been a Gryffindor for sure" he heard the whine in Kara´s voice and could see the pout that always made Draco let her go or give her what she wanted, in that aspect she was very much true to being a Malfoy.

"True, but you want to be even better than her I´m sure. Instead of being a reckless and headstrong hero you can become a smart and strategic one" Kara huffed and Dudley thought he heard a "whatever" before Draco released her and she was gone in less than a heartbeat.

Draco looked over at him then and glared "what are you smirking about?" Dudley just beckoned him over and gave him a small kiss.

"She will grow up to be a great girl you know that right? Draco just nodded and said "of course I do, she is our daughter after all" that made Dudley chuckle again before he went into the study to continue writing the letter.

He was distracted thought thinking about Draco. Kara was very much like her namesake Kara Danvers, supergirl. It had been a surprise when Draco become obsessed with comic books, especially those containing superheroes, so when he had asked excitedly to name their children after superman and supergirl he couldn´t say no. Their little boy was named Clark. To think of how adorable fanboyish and geeky Draco could be always made him smile, the not so serious sides about Draco was his favorites, he loved seeing him so free and untroubled.

He was about to take up the pen to start writing again when he felt a tug on his pant leg. He looked to the side and saw Clark standing their eyes trained on him "you going to the park with us?" he asked looking at him with sincere light blue eyes.

Dudley smiled, Clark was the opposite of Kara, very timid and reserved, he was the kindest and most humble little guy though and would always think of everyone else before himself. "I will but it will take me a little longer than for you, your sister and Draco" Clark was looking up at him in wonderment "why?"

Dudley smiled looking at his son who had on a superman costume, he hadn´t taken it off since his birthday and that was over a month ago now. He smiled thinking of Draco muttering that he didn´t get how muggles did it, he had had to cast numerus of cleaning charms on the costume through the weeks Clark had worn it.

"You see I just aren´t as fast, you and your sisters are superheroes, your father is a wizard but I´m just a regular human being" Clark was frowning at that as if thinking it over.

"You can share my powers, than we can get there together" Dudley smiled at that he was almost as sure of that Clark would be in Hufflepuff as he was that Kara would be a Gryffindor.

Just then Draco stuck in his head through the door "Clark there you are, we have to go now if we won´t want to be late meeting Harry, Callum and their minions" Clark seemed to hesitate looking at Dudley, when Dudley nodded as if saying it was okay he got a big hug before they left to go and meet Harry and the others at the park.

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Later that same day in a small apartment in the outskirts to Bristol a thin middle aged woman was startled while drinking her tea. An owl was pecking on the window outside the kitchen surprising the woman inside and making her spill tea over the table.

Petunia blinked startled, she hadn´t seen an owl in years and could not believe her eyes seeing the owl outside her window with an envelope clutched in its talons. It seemed that someone from the magical world was trying to contact her, but why?

She frowned trying to decide if she was going to let the regal looking bird in or ignore it, remembering what had happened when they had tried to stop owls from delivering their letters all those years ago when Harry was to start magic school she soon opened the window to let the bird in not wanting to repeat what had happened in 1991.

The owl looked piercingly at her and offered its leg to her so that she could take the letter, she did so gingerly not trusting the bird or the letter, it had come from someone possessing magical abilities after all. She was not as anti-magic as she had been or let others believe though, she had in all truth been jealous of her sister and later also nephew. She was afraid and uncertain when it came to magical things and beings however because she didn´t know enough to be able to understand them.

Nothing happened when she took the letter from the bird perched on her kitchen chair, it didn´t leave either however which could only mean one thing that it was waiting on her to write a reply to whoever had sent the letter she was now holding in her hands.

She unfolded the letter and was surprised when the first thing she realized was that the letter had been written by a pen and not a quill meaning that it had to be a person with at least some knowledge about people not possessing magic abilities.

Then she saw the handwriting and she gasped, she would recognize that scrawl anywhere just as she would have recognized his voice, no matter if she had last seen or heard from him an hour ago or if it had been a decade.

Her hands had started to shake and she had to sit down, taking a few deep breaths she composed herself and started to read the letter.

_Dear Petunia Dursley_

_I do not know what to say or what you want to hear and to be frank I do not really care for what you envisioned for my life to be._

_So what I am going to say is the truth and you can either choose to accept it or to look the other way, the choice is yours and you can either choose to take the outstretched hand or to walk away._

_I remembered you telling me to come back to you when I had a family. I have a family now which I love and I´m very happy with them, my partner Draco Malfoy and my children Kara and Clark. I have also reconnected with Harry and he is also happy and have a family of his own. There is place for you in our family though if you want it, I want to start over and for you to know my children, for you to know me because you never really did know who I am, I never really did back then myself._

_I would send a letter to dad too but I had the feeling when I left over 10 years ago that he would never want to see or hear from me ever again, I wish I was wrong but some battles is not worth to fight. I have always felt that there was something left unsaid between us though and I wanted to try to see if there is something there to salvage, I hope there is because I miss my mum and my children would like to know their grandmother._

_Me and Draco have also talked about being bonded, well married, in the wizarding world being bonded is the equivalent for marriage and we feel that it is time, especially now when our children are old enough to be able to remember it._

_It would make me and my family very happy if you would consider too see behind our differences and get to know us and be a part of our family. _

_I want you in my life._

_Your son_

_/Dudley_

Petunia sat there for several minutes after finishing reading the letter, she had thought she would never hear or see her son ever again and that thought had pained her for years on end.

She had regretted what she had done or more exactly what she hadn´t done all those years ago, instead of standing behind her son when he needed support the most she had been a coward and stayed behind old believes and her husband, being his housewife before being a good mother to her only son.

She had wanted to unlock the door and run after him but had refrained from following her instincts because she had thought he would leave and see that they had been right and come back when he had realized there was no love out there to find. She had thought she had done the right thing that Dudley would just end up being ostracized and find nothing but cold rejection and frowned disappointment. It had taken a long time before she had realized that had been exactly how she and Vernon had made him feel, afraid, alone and unloved.

She had wanted to find her son and had tried but failed, it had not taken long after that before she and Vernon had fallen apart and they had divorced not seeing what had happened between them and their son the same way. She wondered if she even knew what love was and how she had been able to question Dudley, if he was to be believed he had been able to find the one thing she didn´t even know she had been missing.

She would be a fool to not take the chance she was given, she felt herself tear up at the idea of having her family back, she had lost a son but she may get 2 sons and 2 grandchildren back.

She was still overwhelmed at the notion of being a grandmother, it would take some time to get used to, it did made her smile though, a genuine smile she had not felt in years taking over her face, all she had ever wanted was to know that her son was happy.

Turning over the letter she started to write back, she had so much she wanted to say, 10 years to catch up on and making up for lost time.

LOTB∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞DD∞DM∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞LOTB

Draco was laying in his and Dudley´s bed reading a potions assay from one of his first year students, the work was exceptionally good he was impressed if he didn´t know better he would have thought it was an assay from a third year student. He looked at the name though and smirked, Granger´s daughter of course, he had to do something about that maybe he would put her with Longbottom's son that would surely give her a challenge.

His musings were disturbed by Dudley making his way into their room and walking straight into their bedpost, he looked at his boyfriend and raised an eyebrow. Dudley looked up at him from where he was rubbing at his shins "I got a response from my mother" was his explanation to his clumsiness.

Draco drew away the duvet and Dudley smiled and crawled into bed snuggling up to him. Draco would never admit it but he loved it when he could feel the warmth and weight of Dudley at his side. He levitated the assay putting it back on the top of the pile that was located on the desk in the corner of the room "and what did she say?"

Dudley´s smile widened "she said she wants to plan our bonding" Draco made a horrified expression, no one was planning his bonding other than him, with the help of Dudley of course. He would let Callum make the clothes but that was not because he was their friend it was because he was the best on what he did.

Dudley was laughing at him and he scowled in response "I was joking, you should have seen your face." Draco looked at his boyfriend disapprovingly, really having fun at someone else's expense, and Dudley was the one that were supposed to be the good influence on their children. He snorted at that knowing that they were equal bad influences but somehow they were still doing something right.

Dudley´s good mood must mean something though "I take it that it was good news then?" he knew that the woman had done a lot of mistakes but if there was something he knew it was that everyone deserved a second chance.

Dudley was nodding at him before taking his hand "it was, she regret her actions when I came out and she wants to give it a chance" the smile he was sporting soon turned into a smirk, which Draco was proud to say was something Dudley had taken after him. "She do want to come to the bonding though even if she will leave the planning to us, or I assume she will when she didn´t say anything indicating otherwise."

Draco shook his head, he would not get in an argument with his future mother in law the first thing he did. Then he got an idea, there was one thing that could be in the way of his plan however "and your dad?"

At that Dudley shrugged and grimaced "as I thought a lost battle, he and mum are not even together anymore." Draco gave a satisfied smirk at that, Petunia would not have time to even _try _to be the one planning their bonding even if he would let her believe she was of course.

Dudley was looking at him with a twinkle in his eyes and an amused expression "what are you thinking, that is your plotting face" Draco was astonished every time, after 10 years though it was not surprising that Dudley could read him like an open book.

"Severus will be coming to the bonding alone as well I´m sure, I could make them have to interact…" he left it open ended knowing that Dudley would catch on.

It was very amusing watching Dudley and observing exactly when he did get Draco´s plan "my mother and Severus, you are not serious? Please say you´re not serious?"

Draco raised an eyebrow, Dudley and Severus had never really gotten along just as Harry and his godfather never had, so to suggest such a match was the perfect payback for what Dudley had fooled him to believe earlier. When he thought about it though it would be worth a shot, Petunia was the sister of the only one Severus had ever loved and he knew the man was lonely.

Dudley´s eyes widened, he must have seen Draco´s eyes turning calculating and drawing his own conclusions "you know Severus would be furious if he knew you were even thinking of trying to play match maker" Draco nodded and was about to answer that yes he knew and that was why he had no intention of letting Severus know.

He was interrupted though by the door cracking open and their son stepping in nervously, Clark was looking sad and to both his and Dudley´s surprise he was no longer wearing his superman costume.

"Clark are you alright" Dudley had sat up and the boy shook his head, "what happened" Draco asked.

"Nightmare, I don´t want to be a hero anymore. I just want to be Clark" he looked so sad and lost that it made Draco´s heart hurt.

"That is okay, you can be whoever you want, we will love you anyway, just the way you are" Dudley said giving their boy a reassuring smile.

Clark looked hesitant but then he smiled seeming to accept that what Dudley had said was the truth. Draco smiled too, Clark was special and there was no one else he knew that was liked by literally everyone, if everyone was a little more like Clark the world would be a better place.

Draco patted the bed between himself and Dudley "come here, you get to sleep with us tonight" Clark looked relived at that and hurried to join them.

Dudley looked at him over Clark and the love was evident in his eyes. Draco wondered every day how he could have become so lucky. He loved his life and he could not wait to see what the next adventure that was in store for him and his family was going to be.


End file.
